


Heart of the Mind

by Shire55



Category: P/C - Fandom, P/C h/c, Picard/Crusher, Star Trek TNG - Fandom, TNG - Fandom
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Other, P/C h/c - Freeform, TNG, p/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-15
Updated: 2011-12-15
Packaged: 2017-10-27 09:12:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 44,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/294112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shire55/pseuds/Shire55





	Heart of the Mind

Heart of The Mind.  
Lieutenant Commander Estelle Maguire watched her opponent with  
careful intensity. She knew he was making allowances for her inferior  
ability, but today she was determined to show him she could learnlearn  
and improve.  
He was lithe, devastatingly quick and well acquainted with both  
his experience and his exceptional ability, yet she still felt  
he had a weakness. All she had to do was find it, while avoiding  
the point of his deadly foil. Through the grille of her helmet  
she watched him as he waited patiently, perfectly balanced on  
the balls of his feet, his step light and sure. Her palm sweated,  
her forearm feeling the strain of the prolonged bout. His head  
lifted a fraction and, before she could consider what it meant,  
he thrust forward, his foil flashing as he sought to defeat her  
weakening defence. Once, twice, and again he struck, his blade  
whipping about with the lethal accuracy of a striking snake.  
She back-pedalled, strenuously trying to deflect his attack, her  
feet dancing across the strip. Knowing she was approaching the  
end of the run, she suddenly lunged at him, thinking with bloody-minded  
determination that she might as well go down fighting. The point  
of his weapon hit her firmly in the middle of her chest, the blade  
bowing under the pressure.  
Coming to attention, the combatants saluted each other and removed  
their masks. Panting, Estelle shook her head ruefully.  
"You have me at a disadvantage CaptainI am obviously  
outclassedagain"  
Gesturing to the bench, the Captain slowly removed his gloves.  
Picking up his towel, he wiped his sweating face and carefully  
laid his foil against the seat.  
"I don't agree Commander. You scored two hits today and both  
your defence and attack show a marked improvement."  
The woman sat and stretched out her legs in front of her, placing  
her hands behind her and leaning back.  
"I think perhaps that you may be humouring me."  
Sitting beside her, the Captain lifted and hefted his sword before  
running the blade through a lightly oiled rag.  
"Not at all. How long have we been doing thistwo months?  
You have made great leaps in your techniqueyou no longer  
drop your wristyou're more attuned to my strategiesin  
fact I would go as far as to say you have risen several levels  
in a remarkably short time."  
Estelle chuckled, dabbing at her face and neck with her towel.  
"Thank you Sir, your kind words are much appreciated, even  
if a littlegilded."  
She watched as he also chuckled, once again finding herself admiring  
him. She was very attracted to him, had been for some time. She  
had first noticed him when she came aboard at Starbase eight.  
He'd welcomed all the new arrivals and she was immediately drawn  
to himto his classical features, his dark intelligent eyes  
and his unmistakeable air of authority. Once assigned to her new  
quarters, she took no time in looking up his service record. She  
knew of him of coursewho didn't?his exploits were  
legendary. Gaining a posting to the Enterprise, Starfleet's Flagship  
was the culmination of all her dreams. Finding the celebrated  
Captain Jean-Luc Picard both handsome and potently attractive  
was a very welcome bonus.  
She already knew most of the highlights of his illustrious career.  
What she searched for were the little things, the minutiae that  
made a person unique. When she spotted his penchant for fencing  
she was delighted, being a keen, but largely inexperienced adherent.  
She had bided her time, her post as head of microbiology putting  
her under the direct command of the ship's Chief Medical Officer,  
Doctor Beverly Crusher.  
She soon noticed that the Captain paid his CMO regular visits  
and she quickly surmised they had some sort of relationship going.  
Their friendly banter, the demonstrative touching, albeit covertall  
pointed to a hint of something more.  
It took her eight weeks to gather the courage, but one afternoon,  
as the Captain was leaving Sickbay, she screwed up her nerve and  
approached him.  
"Captain Picard?"  
He stopped and turned his head, his eyebrows slightly raised.  
"Yes Commander...?"  
"Maguire Captain, Estelle Maguire."  
He smiled and her heart missed a beat.  
"Of course. How can I help you?"  
Clearing her suddenly constricted throat, Estelle took a large  
breath.  
"I umI heard you like to fence Sir. So do I."  
He turned his body to face her and his smile broadened.  
"Indeed? Well that's welcome news! I have been lacking a  
suitable partner for some time now. What level have you achieved?"  
Feeling the blush rising, the Commander tried to steady herself.  
"Come on! You're thirty-seven years old, not some puerile  
adolescent."  
"Oh I'm not nearly as good as you Captain, but I do enjoy  
it and I've been looking for someone to help me improve."  
His dark hazel eyes appraised her as she stood, trying not to  
show her nervousness. He seemed to come to a decision.  
"Very well Commander Maguire, I'll let you know when I'm  
free and we'll see if our schedules coincide."  
Breathing a surreptitious sigh of relief, Estelle grinned at her  
Captain.  
"Thank you Captain, I look forward to it."  
He nodded his dismissal, the smile remaining.  
As she turned and walked away from him, Captain Picard watched  
her go, a thoughtful expression on his face, his mind already  
seeking to find the required spare time.  
From inside her office Beverly Crusher watched the exchange with  
interest, a slight frown marring her beautiful face.

 

 

 

 

 

"So Commander, where did you begin your exploration of  
fencing?"  
Estelle sighed and pursed her lips.  
"Actually Captain I sort of fell into it."  
His eyebrows rose, a ghost of a smile on his lips.  
"Oh?"  
"Yes. My elder brother fenced and he was always pestering  
me to join him. I resisted of coursethat was until I found  
that Gary Ravenscroft was his partner."  
The Captain's smile grew, a look of amused understanding creeping  
across his face.  
"Ah."  
Estelle sighed, her face growing wistful.  
"I was hopelessly in love with himhe of course was  
completely unaware of me. The day I turned up at the studioin  
full fencing regaliahe laughed outright. I was devastated  
but my brother came to my rescue and convinced me to not only  
stay, but to have a go. No one was more surprised than me to find  
that I actually enjoyed it."  
"How old were you?"  
"Oh about thirteen."  
The Captain stood slowly and began his cooling down exercises.  
Lunging forward, he stretched his legs one at a time then stood  
and twisted his body left and right. Estelle lowered her head  
and watched avidly through her fringe of long honey brown hair.  
The white fencing costume fitted him snugly, the fabric clearly  
displaying his well-muscled body. As he bent to touch his toes,  
the Commander swallowed and took a deep breath.  
"How about you Captain? Where did you start?"  
He placed his hands in the small of his back and arched, grimacing  
and closing his eyes.  
"Well Commander it was a long time ago in primary school.  
My village school offered it within the curriculum and, as my  
elder brother failed miserably at it I, naturally, was eager to  
try it. Like you I found I enjoyed it and have continued for most  
of my life."  
Estelle laughed and shook her head.  
"I don't believe it. We both owe our elder brothers quite  
a bit don't we?"  
His eyes crinkled as he grinned, enchanting the watching woman.  
Struck with a surge of courage, Estelle lifted her head and looked  
him in the eye.  
"Captain may I ask a favour of you?"  
His eyes sharpened, but a faint smile remained.  
"You may ask."  
"Sirwhen we're off dutywould you call me Estelle?"  
His gaze never left her face and he was silent so long Estelle  
feared she had overstepped her bounds. She was about to apologise  
when he spoke softly.  
"Very wellEstellebut only if you will do something  
for me."  
Surprise registered in her face, both at his request and the gentle  
tone of his mellifluous voice.  
"Of course Captainanything."  
"Have dinner with me."  
Her look of shock must have concerned him.  
"CommanderEstelleI hope you don't think it inappropriate,  
it's just that"  
Estelle stood quickly and found a warm smile.  
"No Captainnot at all. I would be delighted. When?"  
Sighing, Jean-Luc gazed into her eyes and squared his shoulders.  
"Would tonight, at twenty hundred hoursin my quarters  
be acceptable?"  
Her head spinning and her heart pounding, Estelle heard her voice  
and marvelled at how calm she sounded.  
"That sounds fine Captain. Uniform or civvies?"  
He cocked his head, his eyes twinkling.  
"I think we can dispense with formality Estelle. Civilian  
clothing will be sufficient."  
With a happy grin on her face, Estelle nodded, trying desperately  
to contain her excitement.  
"All right CaptainI'll see you at twenty hundredand  
thank you Sir."  
She bent and picked up her towel and foil. Walking to the doors  
she was aware of his gaze on her back and swished her hips in  
response. As the doors closed on her retreating form, Jean-Luc  
grinned and shook his head, well aware of what she'd doneand  
admiring her all the more.  
His attraction to her had been slowly growing, their time together  
on the Holodeck fencing a welcome and desired event for him. He  
had found his thoughts returning to her on a regular basis and  
smiled as he recalled her feistiness and determination as she  
worked to overcome her nervousness in his company.  
The Captain was well aware of the effect he had on his crew. Those  
that didn't know him well held him in awe, the younger members  
of his crew often reduced to trembling if he addressed them. He  
sighed and shook his head. He had very few close friends and of  
those select few only Beverly Crusher could say that she was closest.  
They had known each other for thirty years and had helped one  
another through some very traumatic events in their lives. They  
were best friends, and although Jean-Luc wished fervently that  
they could've taken their relationship to an intimate level, he  
was content to abide by Beverly's wishes to keep their bond platonic.  
He loved herhad done for more years than he cared to admit,  
but he would never endanger their precious friendship by pursuing  
something Beverly didn't want.  
Deep in thought, he gently placed his foil in its case, closed  
and latched the lid and took it by its handle. Lifting his head  
he said quietly,  
"Computer end programme and save."  
The studio disappeared to be replaced by the black and gold grid  
in the cavernous room. Jean-Luc strode to the doors, his mind  
occupied with thoughts of the upcoming dinner.

 

 

 

 

 

The door annunciator chirruped and Jean-Luc looked  
up from his task of finishing the table setting. He strode to  
the centre of the living area and said quietly,  
"Come."  
The doors parted and Estelle tried to keep from staring. He was  
dressed in dark blue trousers, a white silk shirt and black shoes.  
Handsome didn't adequately describe him, he was devastatingly  
attractive and it was all she could do to remember to breathe.  
He stepped closer to the door and ran his appreciative eyes over  
her. Softly he said,  
"Estelle you look lovely. Do come in."  
Her ivory dress was demure and yet managed to accentuate her long  
legs and curvaceous figure. It scooped slightly in the front and  
ended just above the knee. Her matching shoes had low heels with  
an open toe. They stood closely and her eyes drifted closed momentarily  
as she smelled his subtle aftershave. His voice startled her back  
to the present.  
"Would you like a glass of wine before we eat? I happen to  
have some authentic redas a matter of fact, I'm well acquainted  
with the family that produces it."  
Smiling brightly, Estelle allowed him to lead her to the sofa.  
"That would be lovely Captain."  
He turned suddenly bringing her to an abrupt halt too close to  
him for her to think clearly.  
"Estelle I think it only fair that I reciprocate."  
She frowned slightly and took a small backward step.  
"Sir?"  
He smiled and shook his head.  
"It's Jean-Luc actually."  
A slight blush followed her small gasp.  
"II'mok."  
Nodding decisively Jean-Luc gestured to the sofa and they both  
sat. Entranced, Estelle watched as he poured the drinks and smiled  
when he raised his glass in a toast.  
"To friendship."  
She nodded and quietly repeated his declaration. Clinking glasses  
they sipped the wine, her look of surprised delight pleasing him  
inordinately.  
"CapJean-Luc this is wonderful! What is it?"  
"It's a merlot blend"  
She chuckled, shaking her head.  
"I know thatwho makes it?"  
Grinning he lifted the bottle and, with a flourish, presented  
it to her. As she read the label she laughed outright.  
"I don't believe it! This is your family's vineyard?"  
He nodded, his pride evident on his face.  
"Indeed. My family has produced quality wines for many centuries."  
Letting her eyes drift from the bottle to his face, she said softly,  
"But not you."  
With a firm shake of his head he sighed.  
"No. I knew from a very early age that I was destined not  
to follow that path. Even as a small boy I understood I belonged  
amongst the stars. I'm afraid a life on Earth tied to the land  
was never going to satisfy me."  
"How did your family take that?"  
He sighed again, his eyes growing distant.  
"Not very well. My father and brother were particularly disdainful  
of my choices, although my mother gave me her unqualified support."  
It was Estelle's turn to sigh. Nodding she gently placed the bottle  
on the low table.  
"Yes, thank the Gods for mothers. My family couldn't understand  
my desire to join Starfleet. For generations my family has worked  
in economics. Both my parents, my older and younger brotherit  
was bad enough when I became a microbiologist, but to leave Arrus  
Prime? They thought I'd lost my mind. Had it not been for my mother's  
unconditional love"  
His hand on her arm stilled her tongue and the look of compassion  
in his eyes nearly broke her defences.  
"Enough about our families. How did you know you were drinking  
a merlot blend?"  
Her smile crept back and she absently brushed her hair behind  
her ear. The action stirred something in his mind, but it skittered  
away as she spoke.  
"Oh I like my wine. You may be interested to know I have  
one or two bottles of my own, though nothing as fine as this."  
His eyes twinkled as a grin spread across his face.  
"I see. Well then perhaps next time you can supply the drinks."  
His playfulness heightened her interest in him and she found herself  
relaxing. They chatted amicably as they drank, Estelle delighted  
that he was so comfortable in her company. After two glasses he  
rose gracefully and extended his hand, helping her to her feet.  
He escorted her to the table and, with gentlemanly good manners,  
seated her before retrieving their meal from the replicator.  
Dining sumptuously on venison and roast vegetables, dessert was  
a light lemon sorbet. The conversation roamed over many subjects,  
Jean-Luc suitably impressed by his obviously brilliant and forthright  
companion. Together they cleared the table, sending the remains  
and dirty dishes into the recycler.  
With another bottle of wine opened, they settled once again on  
the sofa, nursing their glasses.  
"Tell me Estelle, what do you have in mind for your career?"  
She sighed and rested her head on the sofa.  
"At the moment I'm content to stay put. This posting was  
a dream come trueyou've no idea how hard I worked"  
He smiled gently and interrupted.  
"Oh but I do. I make it a habit of only taking the best for  
this ship. I read your service history when you were recommended."  
Blushing slightly, she chuckled.  
"I read yours too."  
His eyebrows arched, his eyes gazing into hers.  
"Indeed?"  
"Uh huh. That's how I knew you fenced."  
He was silent a while, digesting that admission. Her question  
roused him.  
"Do you like music Jean-Luc?"  
He smiled widely and nodded.  
"Oh yes! I enjoy a wide variety of music."  
"Do you have a favourite composer?"  
He frowned somewhat as he thought.  
"There are so manyand it depends on one's moodhowever  
Mozart would have to be very high on the list."  
"Mmm yes. He's one of my favourites too. How about Strauss?  
Do you like the waltzes?"  
"Of course. How could I not like them, they're beautiful."  
With a look of request, she asked silently. He nodded.  
"Computer play "The Blue Danube"."  
The gentle strains swelled throughout the room and both people  
sighed. With more boldness than she thought she possessed, she  
reached for his hand. He took it without comment and they closed  
their eyes, letting the music transport them. After some time,  
Estelle whispered,  
"Do you dance Jean-Luc?"  
Silently he stood and pulled her to her feet. He led her to the  
centre of the room and took her into his arms. The music infiltrated  
their senses and they moved as one, deftly waltzing around the  
room. Too soon the refrain ended, but before Estelle could pull  
away, Jean-Luc requested a slow number, a female singer crooning  
in heartfelt verses. He moved with such grace and restrained power  
that Estelle was unable to resist his pull. Resting her face against  
his cheek, she moved closer and wound her hands around his neck.  
His hands splayed across her back and his eyes drifted closed  
as they swayed together, the tension slowly building. Towards  
the end of the song, Jean-Luc lifted his head and used his hand  
to raise her face. Staring intently into her eyes, he slowly closed  
the gap between them until his lips brushed hers. The sensation  
made her gasp and she gently pulled his head down to her, seeking  
his mouth. The kiss was tentative at first, but when she opened  
her lips and allowed him entry it soon became deeply passionate.  
He pulled her body against his, eliminating any space between  
them. The feel of her breasts against his chest spurred him on,  
increasing his ardour and deepening the kiss.  
When they parted they were both slightly dizzy. Estelle ran her  
fingers lightly over his face and caressed his lips.  
Trembling she whispered,  
"My God Jean-Luc"  
He smiled, also whispering.  
"My sentiments exactly."  
She took a shaky breath and rested her brow on his chin.  
"Is this going a bit fast?"  
He tightened his embrace and rumbled,  
"I won't do anything you're not entirely comfortable with."  
Closing her eyes and trying unsuccessfully to quell her raging  
desire, Estelle whispered,  
"Then I'd better call it a night."  
He held her a moment longer before reluctantly releasing her.  
"I'll walk you to your quarters."  
Shaking her head, she frowned.  
"That's not necessaryI can"  
He put his fingers under her chin and raised her face to his.  
"It would be my pleasure."  
He kissed her softly then stood back, offering his arm.  
"Shall we?"

 

 

 

 

They arrived at her quarters two decks below his.  
Pausing at the door, he released her arm and quietly requested  
to accompany her inside. She was curious and nodded thoughtfully,  
her desire simmering unabated just under the surface.  
The doors closed behind them and he took her in his arms.  
"I wanted to kiss you goodnight and tell you what a wonderful  
evening I've had. Unfortunately that's not something the Captain  
can do in the corridor."  
Estelle smiled and sighed.  
"I understand, I've had a wonderful time too Jean-Luc. Thank  
you."  
He leaned in and kissed her softly. His hands sliding up and down  
her back and she stepped closer, her senses reeling. The considerable  
desire, only barely held in check bubbled to the surface and she  
moaned into his mouth as she moulded her body to his. He tightened  
his embrace and kissed her savagely, ravaging the inside of her  
mouth.  
With light headed giddiness she pulled away and stared at him,  
her passion heightened at the evidence of his inflamed desire  
sparkling in his dark eyes.  
"Oh GodI want younowquickly"  
Pulling at the closure of his shirt and plucking at his pants,  
she panted and moaned.  
He gently pushed her the short distance to the wall and pressed  
her against it. His mouth descended to her neck, biting and nuzzling  
as his hands ran up her thighs, taking her dress with them.  
"Yes! Quickly Jean-Lucplease"  
Finding her panties, he pulled them down and she assisted him  
in casting them aside. He used one hand to undo his trousers and  
pushed them and his briefs out of the way. He bit her shoulder  
and she gasped as his fingers entered her, testing her readiness.  
Finding her saturated he withdrew his hand and slid his fingers  
over her thighs. She understood and gripped his shoulders as he  
suddenly lifted her, encouraging her to wrap her legs around his  
hips. He entered her with one hard thrust and she cried out, whimpering  
as he gently bit her earlobe.  
She clung to him desperately, mindless with sexual need.  
"Pleasepleasenowdo it nowquickly!"  
Gripping her buttocks, Jean-Luc began to thrust hard and fast.  
Bracing his legs, he accentuated his power by lifting and lowering  
her in time with his piston-like plunges. Estelle lifted her head,  
straining against the wall, involuntary cries escaping from her  
throat. Jean-Luc's soft grunting added to her sensual feast and  
she quickly neared her release.  
"Yesmoremore!"  
The Captain leaned forward and bit her neck as three particularly  
hard thrusts pushed her over the edge. She cried out in inarticulate  
ecstasy completely unaware of her partner's own climax. Jean-Luc  
pushed himself deeply inside her as she clenched around him and  
spasmed as he pulsed, tightly held within her heat.

 

 

 

As her breathing began to calm she became aware of his  
slight trembling. His head rested on her shoulder as he panted,  
still holding her off the floor. She turned her head and kissed  
his neck causing him to raise his head and smile ruefully. He  
blinked slowly and sighed, whispering,  
"I haven't done that in quite a while."  
Estelle grinned wickedly, her eyes sparkling.  
"Whathad sex?"  
Shaking his head and chuckling quietly, he responded,  
"No wenchI usually confine such activities to a comfortable  
bed, however my partner seemed to be in somewhat of a hurry."  
She sighed and shifted in his arms causing him to slip from her.  
She gasped softly, her body still hyper sensitive. He kissed her  
tenderly and slowly set her on her feet, holding her within his  
arms. Her whisper tickled his ear.  
"Jean-Luccan you stay?"  
He released her and made himself comfortable with his clothes,  
considering her question. She waited breathlessly, fearing that  
he would leave. His gentle smile allayed her worry.  
"Yes, but I will have to leave very early. I have a breakfast  
appointment I don't want to break."  
Her tawny eyes glittered with happiness and she wound her arms  
around his chest, nuzzling into his neck.  
"Why don't we have a shower and go to bed?"  
Jean-Luc lazily kissed her temple and sighed.  
"Now that's a splendid idea."

 

 

 

 

Later, comfortably lying naked in each other's arms  
in bed, Estelle couldn't contain a quiet giggle. Rousing himself  
from a lethargic stupor, the Captain growled.  
"What?"  
Running her fingers through his chest hair she asked playfully,  
"So tell mehow long has it been?"  
There was a moment's silence before he rumbled, feigning irritation,  
"Since what?"  
"Since you've had any."  
He grunted and sniffed, debating whether or not to tell her the  
truth.  
"Come onfess up."  
"A long time. Too long actually."  
She stilled and swallowed, screwing up her courage.  
"Oh. I kinda thought you and Doctor Crusher"  
He closed his eyes, willing the spike of anger to subside.  
"No, we're very good friendsnothing more."  
Silence greeted that offering and he was relieved when she seemed  
to drop the subject.  
She sighed and burrowed closer to him.  
"It's been ages for me too. If it's not the job, it's a scarcity  
of suitable partners."  
He grunted again, not bothering to elaborate on the difficulties  
of a man in his position pursuing a relationship with a fellow  
crewmember.  
Her hand slowly trailed down his torso and dallied in the thickening  
growth of pubic hair at the base of his penis. He sighed and started  
to tell her that it would be some time before he could make love  
again when he suddenly realised he was rapidly beginning to harden.  
Estelle rose up on her elbow as her hand gently squeezed and caressed  
him.  
"Why don't we take a more leisurely approach time this time?  
We've got all night."  
His response was a lingering passionate kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

Beverly entered his quarters, her nose detecting  
the delicious aroma of fresh croissants and hot coffee. The breakfast  
table had been set and she appreciated the effort he went to,  
always providing an assortment of preserves and creamy butter.  
His attention to the small details always charmed her, knowing  
as she did that he did it for her only. She watched as he retrieved  
the coffee pot but frowned when he looked up and she noticed how  
haggard he looked.  
"Jean-Luc did you get any sleep last night?"  
He flushed slightly and cleared his throat.  
"Sit Beverly, the croissants will get cold."  
Somewhat annoyed that he'd deflected her enquiry, she nonetheless  
took a pastry and pulled it apart, buttering it and taking her  
time in choosing a preserve. He wasn't fooled for a minute. He  
knew all to well she wouldn't let the matter drop. Sure enough  
"It's not nightmares again is it? You know Deanna"  
He held up his hand and shook his head.  
"No Beverly it's not nightmares. I was busy that's all."  
The Doctor frowned, pausing the coffee cup en route to her mouth.  
"Busy? What kept you so busy that you didn't get any sleep?"  
He sighed exasperatedly and shook his head.  
"I didn't say I didn't get any sleep. I managed a few hours  
this morning."  
Placing the cup firmly in its saucer, Beverly frowned at her best  
friend.  
"A few hours aren't enough Jean-Luc! You look terrible."  
His eyes hardened and he had to make a concerted effort not to  
snap.  
"Be that as it may, I assure you I'm fine. Now, can we just  
eat breakfast without all this adversarial chit chat?"  
Beverly's mouth snapped shut and she recognised his effort to  
rein in his anger. Never comfortable with her overly conscientious  
interest in his health, she knew if she pursued this he would  
withdraw completely and she would be shut out. To that end, she  
mustered a smile and changed the subject. Half an hour later they  
reported for duty.

 

 

 

Three days later the senior staff were assembled at  
the conference table in the forward observation lounge. Estelle  
was there too in her capacity as head microbiologist. Their next  
mission involved a mysterious sickness ravaging a distant system.  
The planetary medical facilities had been unable to halt the illness  
and it was decimating the populace. If not stopped soon, millions  
could die.  
Under strict containment protocols, samples of the suspect virus  
had been sent via high-speed shuttle, the Enterprise's departure  
delayed as she delivered much needed supplies to an isolated mining  
colony near the Neutral Zone. Now free, she was surging through  
space at warp eight point five, permission to exceed warp five  
given by Starfleet Command.  
Jean-Luc savagely suppressed his personal interest in Estelle  
and addressed his CMO.  
"Have you had any success with the virus Doctor Crusher?"  
Beverly grimaced and cast a look at Estelle. Shaking her head  
she answered,  
"Not yet Captainit's a bloody nightmare. Every time  
we think we've nailed it, it slips by and continues to grow. Nothing  
we've done so far seems to slow it down."  
Estelle leaned forward, her hands clenched upon the tabletop.  
"Captain Picard this virus is insidiously potent. Once it  
enters the body it attaches itself to any number of cells, it's  
quite indiscriminate, and proceeds to ravage the host. Depending  
on what it attacks first, lungs, heart, liverany one of  
the internal organs can be affected, the patient dies from a variety  
of failures. We can't isolate it or destroy ityet."  
Commander Will Riker, second in command, sat up, his blue eyes  
piercing.  
"What about the crew? How safe is the ship?"  
Beverly sighed and shrugged.  
"As long as we observe level five containment protocols there  
will be no problembut, God forbid, if so much as one microbe  
got out, this ship would become a floating graveyard in a very  
short time."  
The Captain frowned, his intelligent eyes clouding with worry.  
"How will you handle going down to the planet?"  
Estelle spoke up.  
"Full containment suits Sir, followed by complete decontamination  
on our return."  
There was silence for a while before Jean-Luc spoke again.  
"How long do you envisage staying dirtside?"  
Beverly's voice was rock steady.  
"As long as it takes."  
"And how many will go?"  
The women shared a look and both sighed. Beverly responded.  
"I would say seven all told, plus a hefty load of equipment."  
She looked at Jean-Luc earnestly and took a large breath. "  
We have a request Captain."  
He raised his eyebrows but remained silent.  
"We want Data to come with us."  
Lieutenant Commander Data was the only android in Starfleet. His  
remarkable abilities made him an ideal away team specialist, that  
coupled with his immunity to organic viruses, afforded his superiors  
a wonderful opportunity to use him as a diagnostic tool. Nothing  
could compute as fast, or possess his wealth of knowledge. He  
was, in short, unique.  
Jean-Luc mulled over the request. The only problem with Data was  
that there was only one of him. Taking him from the ship could  
endanger the mission. The Captain had to weigh how best to utilise  
this excellent resource. Coming to his decision, he nodded.  
"Very well Doctor. Mr.Data download everything available  
on Harakk II, including the initial outbreak and report to my  
Ready Room when you're finished. Doctor Crusher, Commander Maguire,  
prepare a report on what you need, containing a list of wanted  
crew, and have it to me as soon as you can. Number One, how long  
until we reach Harakk II?"  
Will turned to his Captain, his voice slightly apologetic.  
"A little over four days Captain."  
"Damn. Very well, if there's nothing else?"  
No one responded so he pushed himself back from the table.  
"Dismissed."  
As everyone rose from their seats, Jean-Luc said quietly,  
"Commander Maguirea moment please?"  
Estelle nodded and stood by the sloping windows, her attention  
focussed on her lover. As the officers filed out, Counsellor Deanna  
Troi cast a glance at her Captain, a slight frown on her face.  
The empathic Betazoid frowned deeper as she felt the distinct  
suppression of the Captain's emotions. Knowing he was aware of  
her scrutiny, she sighed and paused as she left the room, her  
obsidian eyes searching Jean-Luc's face. When he studiously ignored  
her she had no option but to take her leave.  
Once the Counsellor had left, Jean-Luc let out a breath and relaxed.  
Coming around the end of the table, he faced Estelle. His quiet  
deep voice sent a thrill down her spine.  
"I'm sorry we've not seen each other latelyI've been  
quite busy with this mission."  
She smiled tenderly and clasped her hands behind her back, the  
only thing she could think of to resist the urge to run her hands  
over his chest.  
"That's ok I've been flat out too. What about tonight? Maybe  
we could get together for dinner?"  
He sighed and looked deeply into her eyes.  
"It would have to be quite late. I'm expecting an update  
from Command and it's not due until oh one thirty hours."  
Her smile caught him by surprise as it reminded him of the way  
Beverly smiled when she was indulging him in something. It was  
just an upward curl of one side of her mouth that, coupled with  
the amused glint in her eyes, made his heart miss a beat. She  
saw his expression and asked,  
"What?"  
Gathering himself quickly, Jean-Luc cleared his throat.  
"Oh nothingmy mind just wandered momentarily."  
Frowning now, Estelle decided to let it pass. Nodding she pursed  
her lips.  
"I know what you meanI've been doing that a lot lately.  
Now concerning dinner, actually it sounds about right. I won't  
be finished until midnight or later so how about you come to my  
quarters when you're ready and I'll supply the food?"  
He smiled tiredly and cocked his head.  
"I may not be very good company."  
Estelle grinned and leaned forward.  
"I'll take whatever I can get."  
His smile widened and he nodded.  
"Very well I'll see you tonightor tomorrow morning  
as it were."  
She straightened and nodded, seeking his dismissal. He nodded  
his acquiescence and she left.

 

 

 

Jean-Luc strode onto the Bridge and felt the eyes of  
his Counsellor on him as he took his seat in the Command chair.  
He stayed only long enough to ascertain the readiness of his ship  
before rising to his feet and addressing his First Officer.  
"You have the Bridge Number One, I'll be in the Ready Room."  
Will rose and nodded to his Commanding Officer.  
"Aye Sir."  
Once ensconced in his inner sanctum, he slowly began to count,  
his face impassive as he strove to contain his irritation. Within  
minutes the door chimed. Taking a large breath and expelling if  
forcibly, the Captain withdrew into a calm, almost glacial mindset.  
"Come."  
Deanna walked in, already aware of his attempts to shut her out.  
Standing before his desk she frowned.  
"Captain?"  
He looked up, his eyes blank, his face unreadable.  
"Yes Counsellor?"  
Deanna sighed exasperatedly and sat herself in the chair facing  
the desk.  
"It won't work Captain. You may be able to block me from  
sensing your emotions, but the very fact that you're doing it  
tells me something is troubling you."  
Placing his hands palm down on the desktop, Jean-Luc kept his  
voice quiet, although Deanna could plainly hear the subdued irritation  
in it.  
"Counsellor there are times when I simply require privacy.  
This is one of those times."  
Deanna smiled and shook her head.  
"Captain you are the most private person I know! Surely you  
realise my concern is for your wellbeing? For you to react to  
me this waywell it piques my curiosity."  
He cocked one eyebrow, but kept his command visage in place, his  
voice now deadly quiet.  
"Indeed Counsellor? Do you refer to professional curiosity,  
or is it more a case of nosiness?"  
Taken aback by his cold anger, Deanna steeled her defences.  
"I think you know me better than that Captain."  
Relenting slightly, Jean-Luc allowed himself to relax a little.  
"My apologies Deanna, that was uncalled for. However I maintain  
I seek only privacy."  
Deanna stood and nodded.  
"Very well Captain I will take this no further, but if I  
feel anything untoward I expect you to be more cooperative with  
me."  
Jean-Luc nodded once, immensely relieved that she was willing  
to let the matter rest. He was not willing to discuss his burgeoning  
relationship with Estelle with Deanna or anyone else. Not until  
he was more sure of it himself.  
"Agreedand thank you."  
Hearing his dismissal, Deanna mustered an encouraging smile and  
left, deep in thought.  
Jean-Luc turned his chair and stood, finding his feet carrying  
him to the viewport. As he contemplated the stars he yet again  
asked himself what he thought he was doing getting involved with  
a member of his crew.  
"It cannot work!"  
He admonished.  
"What if it compromises my ability to command?"  
His thoughts drifted to Beverly, as they often did and he sneered  
as he recalled her rejection of his suggestion of intimacy.  
"Beverly wasn't willing to trywhat makes me think Estelle  
will be able to continue with me when I have to place her in danger?"  
He closed his eyes and rested his weary head against the cold  
glass.  
"Oh God what was I thinking?"

 

 

True to his word it was very early in the  
ship's morning when he arrived at Estelle's quarters. Pressing  
the annunciator, he half expected her to be asleep. He was cautiously  
surprised when she called,  
"Come in."  
He stepped into the room, uncomfortably reminded of what they  
had done the last time he was there. She noticed his hesitation  
but mistook it for tiredness.  
"You poor thing you must be exhausted. Here, come and sit,  
dinner's ready."  
Giving himself a mental shake, Jean-Luc took the offered seat  
and concentrated on his companion.  
"This looks interesting. What is it?"  
Estelle smiled shyly and shrugged.  
"It's a native dish from home, I hope you don't mind. I've  
programmed a couple of things into the replicator."  
Smelling the dish appreciatively, Jean-Luc suddenly realised he  
was hungry.  
"Not at all, in fact I enjoy trying new food."  
Encouraged, Estelle dished out the food and sat, surreptitiously  
watching as her lover ate his meal, fascinated by his gracefulness  
and economy of movement. Feeling the protracted silence was becoming  
oppressive, the Commander tried to engage her guest in conversation.  
"So did you receive your communiqué?"  
Jean-Luc chewed thoughtfully, nodding.  
"Yes and it was as lengthy as I feared. Sometimes I think  
admirals have nothing better to do than vex Captains with verbose  
reports."  
Estelle chuckled and wiped her mouth with her serviette.  
"I know what you mean. I've been the victim of a long winded  
admiral beforeGod help me!"  
That brought a soft chuckle from the man and she sighed in happiness.  
She cleared away the dishes and placed a light dessert in front  
of him. To his silent enquiry she answered,  
"It's sort of like a fruit mousse. I think you'll find it  
quite refreshing."  
Picking up his spoon, he tasted the dish and smiled with satisfaction.  
"You like?"  
He nodded and swallowed another spoonful.  
"Yes although it's quite unlike any fruit I've ever tasted  
before."  
They finished their meal and retired to the sofa. Her quarters  
being much smaller than the Captain's, Estelle had less furniture.  
They sat together in companionable silence for a while, until  
Jean-Luc sighed.  
"What?"  
"Nothing just tired. Where is the wine you told me about?"  
Grinning wickedly, Estelle leaned over and kissed him softly.  
"In the bedroom."  
As she sat back she brushed her hair back and laid her free arm  
along the sofa whilst crossing her long legs. Jean-Luc's breath  
caught as he remembered Beverly doing exactly the same thing.  
In fact she'd done it so many times it was etched indelibly into  
his memory. Caught in the memory, he struggled to regain his equilibrium.  
Estelle, her desire rising, missed his panicked expression and  
continued in attempting to seduce him.  
"Why don't we retire to my bed and I'll show my best vintage?"  
Jean-Luc's head bowed and she finally saw his reluctance.  
"Jean-Luc? What is it?"  
Shaking his head, he couldn't look at her eyes.  
"It's nothing reallyI'm just tired."  
She reached for him, gripping his hands and trying to see under  
his brow.  
"Then let me help you relaxI can"  
Suddenly standing, he withdrew his hands.  
"Nolook I think it would be better if I went to my  
own quarters. I'm sorry EstelleI did warn you I wouldn't  
be very good company tonight."  
She watched as he shut himself off from her and marvelled at how  
easily he did it. Rising, she attempted to place her hand on his  
shoulder and was dismayed when he stepped out of her reach.  
"All right Jean-Lucmaybe tomorrow then?"  
He nodded and muttered,  
"Goodnight."  
She was still standing staring at the closed doors ten minutes  
after he'd left.

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc didn't sleep well. He tossed and turned  
and what sleep he did get was inhabited by disturbing dreams.  
He was awake when the alarm sounded and his grumbled order for  
it to cease was evidence of his tiredness. He showered, shaved  
and dressed, his mind wrestling with the problem of what to do  
about Estelle. He wanted her, of that there was no doubt, but  
did he love her? Could he afford to find out? He was still mulling  
in dark thought when the door annunciator sounded. Glowering he  
slammed down the PADD he was trying to study and said curtly,  
"Who the hell is it?"  
Beverly's tentative voice caused him to grimace with contrition.  
"Jean-Luc? What's wrongcan I come in?"  
He stood and strode to the door, pressing the release. Upon seeing  
her concerned face, he dredged up a wan smile.  
"I'm sorry Beverly I was somewhat engrossed. Pleasecome  
in."  
Casting a suspicious look at her friend, Beverly entered to see  
that breakfast was nowhere to be seen. Jean-Luc brushed past her  
and began setting the table, slightly nervous when she joined  
him to help. Together they built their familiar repast and were  
soon eating, although Beverly's scrutiny was beginning to irritate  
him. He remained silent however knowing full well that she would  
broach the subject of her concern in her own time. It happened  
over coffee.  
"Soyou're still not sleeping?"  
The Captain sighed and closed his eyes momentarily.  
"Beverly"  
She held up her hand, her voice taking on a hard edge.  
"Stow it Captain! You've been burning the candle at both  
ends for a while now and it's time you stopped. For God's sake  
Jean-Lucwhen was the last time you forgot our breakfast?"  
He began to mount a defence, a protest forming, but she beat him  
to it.  
"Uh uh Captain I don't want to hear it. As your CMO I'm going  
to issue an order, one that I will enforce. You are to stop work  
today at seventeen thirty hours, return to your quarters and eat  
a decent meal. You may relax for a while, but I want you in bed  
by twenty thirty. No later, and if you don't get a good night's  
sleep, I expect you to tell me tomorrow morning. Is that clear?"  
He summoned his best glare, a move completely wasted on Beverly.  
They regarded each other in silence, the battle of wills almost  
palpable. With as much dignity as he could muster, Jean-Luc wiped  
his mouth and placed his serviette on the table. Standing he afforded  
Beverly an aloof glance before softly clearing his throat.  
"Very well Doctor. I will see you tomorrow."  
Understanding both his reluctant acceptance and her dismissal,  
Beverly rose and turned to leave. She hesitated and turned back  
to catch a very uncharacteristic look of sadness on Jean-Luc's  
face. With compassion she quietly called his name.  
"Jean-Luc."  
His face immediately conformed into his Captain's mask, making  
Beverly sigh.  
She smiled tenderly at him and held eye contact until he capitulated  
and smiled in return. Feeling better, she left.  
Jean-Luc sat heavily in his seat and angrily brushed at the crumbs.  
"Fuck!"

 

 

 

 

 

That morning, when Estelle reported for duty, she was  
hard pressed to keep her mind on her work. What had changed between  
them? Had she come on too strong? Why did he seek to shut her  
out so completely? And why the hell wouldn't he talk to her about  
what was obviously troubling him?  
She knew instinctively that he was not the kind of man to treat  
relationships in a cavalier manner. For him to make love to her  
showed that he had feelings for her, but how deep did those feelings  
go? Estelle sighed expansively. In truth she wasn't looking for  
a love affair. She simply couldn't afford the time and effort  
needed to sustain such a relationship. What she wanted was an  
interesting partner, good times and good sex. She needed to talk  
to him and soon. To that end she resolved to see him in his quarters  
that evening.

 

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc's day was tedious. Endless reports on the  
ship's preparation for the upcoming mission landed on his desk  
with monotonous regularity. He would never admit it to Beverly,  
but when seventeen thirty showed on his computer he was only too  
glad to stab it off and stand to stretch his stiffened muscles.  
Striding out onto the Bridge, he informed Will,  
"I'm going off duty Number One. Don't hesitate to call me  
if you need to."  
"Aye Sir."  
As the Captain left, Will stroked his beard and leaned close to  
Deanna.  
"When was the last time he knocked off early with a mission  
on the boards?"  
The Counsellor shook her head, worry creasing her brow.  
"I can't recall Will."  
The big man sighed and caught her eyes.  
"Is he all right?"  
Deanna's hesitation heightened his concern.  
"He's troubled about something, but he's doing his utmost  
to block meand he's damn good at it."  
Will's quiet chuckle irritated the Betazoid. He had long been  
amused at the subtle confrontations between the Counsellor and  
the Captain. He was reminded of the story about the great rock  
being slowly eroded by gently dripping water. The analogy pleased  
him and his smile widened.  
"You know Deanna"  
Her death glare silenced him and he straightened in his chair.  
Under his breath he said,  
"OK, but I expect you to tell me if he needs help."  
The Counsellor made one last attempt to sense the Captain before  
giving up in disgust.

 

 

 

Although Beverly had ordered him to eat a substantial  
meal, Jean-Luc wasn't particularly hungry, replicating instead  
a light chicken salad. Having eaten, he'd settled into his favourite  
chair, a book and a cup of Earl Grey tea in his hands. When the  
door chime sounded, he frowned.  
"Come."  
Estelle stepped into his quarters and clasped her hands in front  
of her.  
"Good evening Jean-Luc."  
Slowly placing his cup and book on the low table, the Captain  
got to his feet and nodded, his face an inscrutable mask.  
"Good evening."  
Walking slowly, she covered the distance between them and asked,  
"May I sit?"  
He nodded and they both sat, an uncomfortable tension in the room.  
Estelle swallowed and sighed.  
"Jean-Luc I think we need to talk."  
Still saying nothing, Jean-Luc nodded again and frowned. Slightly  
annoyed at his reticence, Estelle rubbed her palms on her thighs.  
"What's happened Jean-Luc? Why are you shutting me out?"  
His eyes travelled down her face to focus on his clasped hands.  
Quietly, almost too softly to hear, he said,  
"I don't think I can do this."  
She moved closer and gripped his forearm.  
"Explain. What is it you can't do?"  
He sighed and lifted his head.  
"You and me EstelleI don't know if I can do it."  
"Why? Look Jean-Luc I have to be honest with youI'm  
not looking for loveI don't want violins and angelsbut  
I do want to pursue what we have, I happen to think it's damn  
good."  
Finding her eyes, he looked deeply into them and Estelle realised  
she was seeing relief. She smiled softly.  
"You don't love me."  
He shook his head, sighing.  
"No, although I do carequite a bit, but it's more than  
that. Do you realise how hard it is for me, as Captain of this  
ship, to have a relationship with a crewmember?"  
Estelle pursed her lips and moved closer.  
"I've thought about it of courseI even checked the  
regs regarding suchliaisons, but Jean-Luc nothing need change!  
I don't expect you to treat me any differently now to how you  
did before. Look we enjoy each otherwe give each other something  
we both needI don't see why that can't continue. You must  
know I would never put you in a position of conflict of interestI  
would never compromise your command! God I've been in Starfleet  
long enough to avoid that."  
His smile was slow in appearing but that didn't take the joy from  
it. He opened his arms and she came willingly, nuzzling into his  
neck and sighing deeply with pleasure.  
The removal of their clothing was done at a leisurely pace, the  
ensuing foreplay languid. When they stood, naked and highly aroused,  
Jean-Luc took her hand and shoulder-to-shoulder they walked to  
his bedroom. She turned and cast him a mischievous look, her eyes  
sparkling and again it hit him how much like Beverly she was.  
Vivid images of Beverly giving him exactly that look caused a  
surge of unease. His step faltered and Estelle stopped and caressed  
him. He cursed his body for its rapid response, but the images  
fled in the wake of his rampant desire. She bit him hard on the  
junction of shoulder and neck making him growl. He pushed her  
gently into the bedroom and eased her onto his bed, covering her  
with his lean well-muscled body. She bit him again and he took  
her hands, spreading her arms wide and holding her down.  
"Now you vixenbehave."  
He kissed her with deep passion pushing his erection against her.  
She arched up under him and moaned  
The door chime went unnoticed the first time, in fact it was on  
the third ring that Jean-Luc suddenly stilled and swore. He closed  
his eyes and gritted his teeth.  
"Stay here, it's probably Commander Riker. I'll be right  
back."  
Mewing in protest, Estelle watched appreciatively as he rose and  
quickly donned a robe. He then ducked into the bathroom and came  
out holding a towel in front of himself, hiding his obvious arousal.  
He walked to his door and pressed the release.  
"Hello Jean-Lucjust thought I'd drop by and check on  
you. See if you're following my orders."  
He almost lost his composure.  
"Beverly. Ahas you can see I'm fine."  
She deftly stepped past him and was about to bombard him with  
questions about his meal when she suddenly noticed the clothing  
on the floor. Her eyes darted to his bedroom and saw the subdued  
lighting. Dragging her eyes back to her friend, they widened when  
she spotted the bite marks on his neck. Blushing, Beverly lowered  
her head and muttered,  
"Well I can see that you're okI'll be getting along."  
Her exit was swift and Jean-Luc scowled.  
"Merde!"

 

 

 

Beverly marched through the corridors, head down,  
her face a mask of concentration. Startled crew stepped aside  
as she strode past, unaware of their existence.  
She entered her quarters and began her preparations for bed. She  
changed into her nightie, sat at the mirror and brushed her hair  
and climbed into bed, all done without conscious thought. Lying  
flat on her back, her mind raced.  
"He's got a lover! My Godwhen did he find the time  
for that? And who the hell is she?"  
The agitated Doctor turned abruptly onto her side and scrunched  
the pillow.  
"No wonder he's been so tiredprobably having sex every  
night! Damn him!"  
With irritated fussing, she turned over.  
"I wonder how long it's been going on?maybe I should  
ask Deanna, she'd know for sureno, perhaps notafter  
all it's really none of my business. Bloody hell! How could he  
do this to me!"  
Flopping onto her back again, she hugged a pillow tightly. Sighing  
she closed her eyes, determined to put him from her mind. She  
was successful for two minutes.  
"I wonder what he's like in bed? Oh great, now I'm getting  
horny. For God's sake Beverlygo to sleep!"  
Again on her side, she drew her knees up and steadied her breathing.  
"That's itcalm down. God his face when I walked inand  
what was that on his neckbite marks? He did look flushedI  
wonder how far they were intooh for heaven's sake stop it!"  
She sat up suddenly and threw the pillow across the room. Aloud  
she muttered,  
"Shit!"  
Throwing back the covers, she slid out of bed and stalked to the  
replicator.  
"Hot milk with cinnamon."  
As she sipped the toddy she realised it was Jean-Luc's aunt Adele's  
remedy for insomnia. Closing her eyes, she counted slowly to ten.  
"God he's infiltrated my entire life! Well buddy boy I'm  
not going to let your love life get to me. I'll turn up tomorrow  
morning for breakfast and we'll see who handles it betteryou  
or me?"  
Nodding decisively, she finished the milk and made her way back  
to her bed. It took a while, but she eventually found sleep.

 

 

 

His expletive drew Estelle from the bedroom.  
"Who was it?"  
With his back to her he barked,  
"It doesn't matter!"  
Her gently amused voice carried clearly from the bedroom doorway.  
"That wordwas it French? What does it mean?"  
Spinning on his heel, his angry tone faded into a whisper as he  
beheld a very beautiful, very naked woman.  
"It meansshit."  
She chuckled, crooking her finger at him.  
"How uncouth. Come here Jean-Luc."  
His feet carried him the required distance and her hands took  
the towel, carelessly tossing it onto the floor. His robe soon  
joined it and she frowned at seeing his flaccid state. Sighing  
she ran her finger over his penis.  
"All my good work"  
She dropped gracefully to her knees and gently nuzzled his testicles,  
her hands gripping his buttocks. As the waves of pleasure surged  
through him his erection rapidly returned and he growled deeply  
when she took him into her mouth. As she sucked and slid over  
him, he tangled his hands in her hair and allowed his head to  
loll back on his neck, his mouth gaping.  
When she left him he moaned and drew her to her feet. He ushered  
her to the bed and bade her to lie down, positioning himself beside  
her. He kissed her thoroughly then moved to lavish her breasts  
with his hot mouth. Estelle held his head, pushing him into her  
breasts as his hand slid down her stomach and over her thighs,  
encouraging her to part her legs. She obliged and he caressed  
her with his fingers, separating her folds and slowly entering  
her. Pushing her heels into the mattress, she lifted her hips  
and he slid another finger inside her making her moan. As was  
usual for her, she wanted him immediately. Gripping his shoulders  
she pulled until he covered her with his body and she wound her  
legs around his waist. Not needing any further coaxing, Jean-Luc  
entered her and she gasped, clinging to him and panting his name.  
His thrusts were slothful. He knew she wanted morea faster  
path to fulfilment, but he wasn't to be hurried. Frustrated, she  
bit and scratched, begging him to speed his movements. In response  
he took her hands and held her down, watching her intently as  
he slowly stroked in and out of her. By now almost mindless with  
need, Estelle began to sob, her strained voice beseeching him  
for more, to bring her to her release. Unmoved Jean-Luc ignored  
her and prolonged his thrusts, pushing himself against her and  
grinding his hips. She shuddered and writhed, her voice now a  
continuous plea. Finally he gave in. Abruptly he began to thrust  
vigorously, raising up on his hands and pounding into her with  
singular intent. With a sudden rush Estelle climaxed, her body  
flexing and bowing under him. Undaunted he pressed on evoking  
three more orgasms before his control failed and he succumbed  
to his own ecstasy. Without conscious thought and momentarily  
unaware of his partner he spasmed and shookand Beverly's  
name was torn from his throat.

 

 

 

Estelle froze and watched his face as it contorted with  
euphoria. His eyes were tightly closed and he gripped her hands  
fiercely as his body continued to tremble and pulse. Trying to  
get her brain on line, she attempted to contemplate the ramifications  
of what had happened. Having a lover call out another woman's  
name when he came was not the most flattering thing that could  
occur, but she felt she knew him well enough to know it was done  
completely without his knowledge. But what did it tell her about  
himand his feelings for Beverly Crusher? He had stated that  
they were merely good friends. That however had just been blown  
out of the waterrather succinctly. Nevertheless he had lied,  
whether to her or to himself and she needed time to digest this.  
He rolled off her panting his eyes still closed. She knew from  
previous experience sleep would quickly claim him so she pulled  
up the covers and slipped from the bed. After using the toilet  
she washed her face and took a long look at herself in the mirror.  
"What the hell have you got yourself into?"  
When she returned to the bed, his gentle snoring made her smile  
ruefully. Carefully sliding into the bed she snuggled up to him  
and his arms automatically embraced her. She took one last look  
at his relaxed face before ordering the lights off and allowing  
sleep to come.

 

 

 

 

She was gone when he woke. He looked around his bedroom  
blearily, noticing his folded uniform by the bed. Checking the  
time, he was gratified to note he'd beaten the alarm and requested  
it cancelled. The computer complied and he indulged in a rare  
languid few minutes in bed, something almost alien to him. His  
sense of duty eventually imposed itself and he rose and entered  
the bathroom, grinning in a very Gallic fashion as he registered  
his sore muscles. Such was his satisfaction with his nocturnal  
activities that he was in the shower before he remembered Beverly's  
untimely intrusion. He bowed his head letting the hot water needle  
the back of his neck as he tried to forget his embarrassment and  
dismay. That thought led him to recall how Estelle continued to  
elicit images of his best friend, an unsettling experience when  
he was in the process of making love.  
"Dammit! What the hell is going on?"  
Shoving the disturbing thoughts aside, he shaved and dressed and  
was setting the table when it occurred to him that Beverly might  
not come. After the previous night  
"Computer, location of Doctor Crusher?"  
"Doctor Crusher is on deck eight, crossing junction seven  
B."  
Realising she was indeed approaching his quarters, he straightened  
and faced the door, making sure his voice was steady when he heard  
the chime.  
"Come."  
Beverly peered in, her eyes making a circuit of the room.  
"All clear?"  
Pursing his lips and trying to look in command of the situation,  
Jean-Luc ignored her sly remark and gestured to the table.  
Grinning perkily, Beverly sidled in and took her customary seat.  
After buttering a croissant and allowing the Captain to pour her  
coffee, she sat back and drew one knee to her chest.  
"Well I must say you lookrested. It would seem my orders  
were serendipitous."  
Casting her a look of annoyed forbearance, Jean-Luc sighed.  
"Beverly"  
Holding up a hand, the Doctor chuckled.  
"Oh don't be so serious Jean-LucI'm only yanking your  
chain. I'm well aware it's none of my business. I am curious however.  
Who is she?"  
His silence was ominous and Beverly risked one more push.  
"She must be something to put up with you."  
He shook his head and groaned.  
"Are you ever going to treat me with the respect my rank  
deserves?"  
Her chuckle banished his pique.  
"Not any time soon. Come on Jean-Lucwho is she?"  
He looked into her stunning blue eyes and, not for the first time,  
felt his heart miss a beat. Giving himself a mental shake, he  
replied,  
"Lieutenant Commander Estelle Maguire."  
Beverly's mouth parted then snapped shut.  
"Estellemy Estelle?"  
His nod made her smile.  
"Well I must say all those fencing bouts paid dividends.  
WowEstelle MaguireI never would've thought"  
His head snapped up, his humour evaporating.  
"Why not?"  
Fluttering her hands about haphazardly, Beverly said,  
"Well you know she's not the sortthat is I don't think  
she's"  
Now thoroughly incensed, Jean-Luc snapped,  
"What?!"  
Gathering her errant thoughts, Beverly tried to make sense of  
her intuition.  
"I just don't think she's interested in anything long term  
Jean-Lucthat's all. I didn't mean to offend."  
He grunted and gulped down some coffee, scalding his mouth in  
the process.  
"Shit!"  
Beverly rose and took her ever-present tricorder from her coat  
pocket.  
"Sit still will you!"  
She scanned him and huffed at the reading.  
"You've just managed to burn your mouth. What the hell were  
you trying to prove?"  
Glaring, he rose quickly from his seat and threw down his napkin.  
"That is enough Doctor!"  
Realising she'd pushed him too far, she attempted to mollify him.  
"My apologies Captain. Please accompany me to Sickbay so  
I can treat the injury before infection sets in."  
His jaw flexing, he strode from his quarters, Beverly in tow.  
Their journey to Sickbay was taken in angry silence. Upon entering  
Beverly's domain, he allowed her to usher him to a biobed where  
she quickly dismissed concerned staff that came to assist.  
"If you could just open your mouth Sir?"  
Her continued use of formality helped him to recover his balance.  
Sighing, he relaxed and softened his gaze. While she was busy  
calibrating an instrument he looked over his shoulder, ascertaining  
their privacy. When she lifted her gaze to him, he gently took  
her hands in his, saying softly,  
"I'm sorry Beverly. This is all rather newI just need  
a little time to adjust."  
Her tender smile melted his heart. Leaning forward, she rested  
her forehead on his and revelled in his closeness, gently squeezing  
his hands. Her whisper threatened to break his control.  
"I'm happy for you Jean-Lucreally I am. Never forget  
that."  
They parted and she treated his mouth. Too soon he had no reason  
to stay any longer.  
"Well I suppose I should be getting to the Bridge."  
She squeezed his shoulder and nodded.  
"See you at breakfast?"  
He smiled his reply and she chuckled, gently slapping his arm.  
He slid off the bed and strode from the medical facility, his  
back straight, his shoulders square.  
Estelle bit her lip as she returned to her work in the lab. She'd  
witnessed everything.

 

 

 

 

He had no contact with Estelle over the next eighteen  
hours. Breakfast with Beverly was a little quietshe seemed  
subdued, her responses to his attempts at conversation seemingly  
forced. He put it down to preoccupation over the mission. Late  
in the ship's afternoon the great vessel entered orbit of Harakk  
II and the senior staff met in the observation lounge one final  
time.  
Jean-Luc remained seated as an Ensign brought in a late report.  
He placed the PADD on the tabletop and cast his eyes over the  
assembled officers. They gave him their undivided attention.  
"Mr.Data has delivered a comprehensive report on what you're  
likely to face on the planet. Their medical technology lags behind  
the Federation in several areas  
unfortunately virology is one of those areas. They appear to struggle  
to provide adequate computer assistance so, to that end and in  
conjunction with Data; a permanent uplink will be supplied to  
the Enterprise computers. The advance party will construct safe  
containment units, the biofilters of which will be augmented to  
handle the screening of microscopic biological matter. If all  
goes according to plan, the away team should have a safe, although  
somewhat spartan environment in which to live. When not in the  
units, class eight medical containment suits will be worn at all  
times.  
"The head of the Berrik General Hospital, Doctor H'Rasson,  
your liaison with the central Government, will meet you at your  
new headquarters. The latest updates put almost fifty-five percent  
of the population affected and the mortality rate is rapidly rising.  
Doctor Crusher have you had any success with the virus?"  
Shaking her head, the Doctor scowled.  
"Not as much as we'd like. We have managed to isolate and  
trial several promising drugsit is a very robust pathogen."  
Estelle leaned forward and took over.  
"Captain we're on a promising track, we have had moderate  
success with a crystalline family of drugs that, although not  
killing the virus, did halt its replication. That in itself is  
a victory, albeit a small one, but it does hint that we may be  
on the right path."  
Jean-Luc nodded and clasped his hands on the table.  
"And you feel that you can continue your research on the  
planet?"  
"Yes Sir."  
"Very good. Number One, how long until the construction crew  
finishes the units?"  
Will stroked his beard and consulted a PADD.  
"Sixseven hours tops Captain."  
"And the equipment will be fully installed?"  
"Aye Sir, everything will be up and running."  
"Splendid. Doctor Crusher I take it your staff has received  
extra training in the use of containment suits?"  
Smiling, Beverly nodded.  
"Yes Captain they're ready."  
Jean-Luc took a deep breath.  
"Well we seem to have covered all exigencies. Beam down of  
the away team will take place ineight hours. Dismissed."

 

 

 

 

 

Beverly and Estelle walked back to Sickbay together,  
the silence between them uncomfortable. Estelle was wrestling  
with confusion over her relationship with Jean-Luc and Beverly  
was still unsettled about the discovery of their status. She was  
experiencing pangs of unease, bordering on anger and she was nonplussed  
as to why that should be so. What she'd told Jean-Luc was trueshe  
was happy for him, why wouldn't she be? He deserved happinessthey  
all did. That however did not explain her anguished worrying.  
As they walked Beverly cast a sideways glance at her companion  
and felt a spike of distaste. Surprised at the intensity of the  
emotion, the Doctor struggled to quash the feeling. She was to  
spend an unknown length of time with the woman in close proximity  
with each other and she could ill afford to upset their good working  
relationshipfar too much was at stake.  
As they triggered the door sensor at Sickbay, Estelle stood back,  
allowing Beverly to precede her. She watched her boss walk into  
her facility and frowned at the distinct aura of hostility surrounding  
her. Sighing, the microbiologist went straight to her lab, intent  
on rechecking her equipment. Concentrating on the task at hand,  
she was startled some time later when she was interrupted.  
"I would've thought those checks were already completed."  
Estelle turned to see a frowning Beverly framed in the doorway.  
Standing, Estelle tried to smile.  
"They are, I'm only being extra cautious."  
Folding her arms, Beverly said coldly,  
"Well make certain everything's ready when the techs come.  
I don't want any last minute snafus. You do understand the importance  
of this mission?"  
Without waiting for a reply the red head left abruptly, leaving  
the Commander even more confused.  
"Greatjust great .Now she's on my case."

 

 

 

 

The Captain faced the viewscreen, the image of the  
harried President highlighting the being's agitation.  
"Captain Picard we were assured the aid would begin the instant  
you arrived! You have been in orbit several hours already and  
we've seen no one but some underlings building unnecessary structures.  
Pleasewe require urgent assistance! People are dying"  
Jean-Luc held up his hand and silenced the exasperated being.  
"President M'burro we are moving as fast as possible. The  
structures are vital to our team and, as soon as they are completed,  
our away team will transport down and begin to render aid. We"  
"What about my family? I insist they be taken aboard your  
ship. They"  
"I'm sorry Sir but that is impossible. I cannot risk compromising  
the safety of the Enterprise. No one, not even the away team can  
return until your planet is deemed clear of the disease."  
The President spluttered, spittle hitting his chin slits.  
"But that is preposterous! It could take months!"  
Jean-Luc kept his face impassive. Clasping his hands behind his  
back, he took a conciliatory tone.  
"That may be so Sir, but you must realise I have to protect  
my ship."  
There was a brief silence before the being glared.  
"In that case, since you are being so obstructive, I insist  
my family receives immediate treatment from your physicians."  
Keeping his anger in check, Jean-Luc shook his head.  
"I'm afraid the Doctors will concentrate on the most urgent  
cases first. Are any of your family exhibiting symptoms of the  
virus?"  
The president huffed, his cheek flaps swelling.  
"Well no, but it's only a matter of time. Captain Picard  
I must protest at your stubborn refusals to help me. Don't you  
understand you could be signing our death warrants?"  
His eyes glittering dangerously, Jean-Luc stepped closer to the  
screen.  
"And don't you realise Sir, that by monopolising my team  
unnecessarily, you may be consigning many innocent people to an  
untimely demise? Could you live with that?"  
With an angry growl, the spiky hair of his crest rising, the President  
severed the connection.  
Jean-Luc stood motionless, staring at the image of the planet  
below, allowing his angst to dissipate. The quiet voice of his  
First Officer eased him back to the present.  
"What a charming fellowso full of selfless dedication  
to his people."  
The Captain sighed and took his seat.  
"It's often times of the greatest adversity that separate  
the wheat from the chaff Will."  
The big man scowled and shook his head.  
"Stillasking for special treatment at the expense of  
his fellow citizensnot my idea of the model planetary leader."  
Jean-Luc brushed a speck from his trousers and cocked his head.  
"He's scared Willthey all are. At least he's thinking  
of his family and not just himself."  
Will's grunt gained a small smile from the Captain as he settled  
further into his seat and re-checked the chronometer. Two hours  
to go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beverly strode briskly into her office and made sure  
the door closed before swearing loudly.  
Her behaviour towards Estelle was exactly what she'd determined  
to avoid.  
"Shit, shit, shit!"  
Glancing through the window, she watched as the Commander oversaw  
the loading of her equipment onto the anti gravs. The irrational  
anger surged again and she spun around, clenching her fists and  
closing her eyes.  
"Godammit! What's the matter with me?"  
Feeling the need to get out of Sickbay, the Doctor hurried from  
the facility and marched swiftly through the corridors, heading  
for her quarters.  
Once safely inside her cabin, Beverly sat on her sofa and concentrated  
on settling her rapid breathing. Feeling calmer, she sat back  
and frowned.  
"OkI can deal with thisit's just nerves. We've  
got a difficult mission ahead of us and I'm a little tense. It's  
nothing to do with her, nothing at all."

 

 

 

 

With a little under an hour to go, Jean-Luc made  
his way down to Sickbay. Surprised at finding Beverly absent,  
he found Estelle in the main room going over last minute instructions  
with her staff. He waited patiently until she was finished then  
nodded towards Beverly's office. They entered and he locked the  
door. About to offer his hopes for a quick return to the ship,  
he was taken aback by her look of irritation. When he attempted  
to touch her she stepped out of his reach.  
"Estelle? What is it?"  
Waving her hand, she refused to look at him.  
"Nothingit's nothing. Look Jean-Luc I have a lot to  
do, maybe you should"  
He frowned and stepped closer, gently gripping her arm.  
"No. I came down to wish you good luck and to ask you to  
take care. I'll miss you Estelle."  
She looked up into his concerned eyes and relented.  
"I'll miss you too Jean-Luc."  
Pressing a button on the desk, he opaqued the windows and took  
her into his arms.  
"Come back to me soon Commander, my bed is a lonely place  
without you."  
She giggled saucily and he silenced her with a lingering kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Standing on the transporter pad in their containment  
suits and surrounded by equipment, the four Humans watched as  
their Captain entered. He stood by the operating console and peered  
through the faceplates of his friends. Beverly smiled at him her  
heart swelling as she easily read the concern and affection in  
his eyes. Her hand was about to lift in a wave of goodbye when  
she saw his eyes shift to Estelle. His gentle smile and soft gaze  
stilled her hand and coldness filled her chest.  
"Energise."  
They shimmered into nothingness and Jean-Luc sighed, although  
his face remained impassive. He waited as the next group came  
in, Data in the lead. Being the only member of the team without  
a suit, the android seemed small by comparison. Jean-Luc stood  
before him and noted the collection of instruments festooned around  
his waist.  
"Well Data it seems you're ready for anything."  
Momentarily confused, Data suddenly understood his Captain and  
raised his eyebrows.  
"Yes Sir. It is my intention tocover all bases."  
Smiling gently, Jean-Luc stood back as the three officers stepped  
up onto the platform.  
"Good luck."  
Without turning his head, the Captain said softly,  
"Energise."

 

 

 

Doctor H'Rasson was waiting as the team assembled  
outside the hospital. Dispensing with formalities, he quickly  
led them through the building, the Enterprise crew appalled at  
the hundreds of patients lying listlessly on makeshift beds throughout  
the facility. With their infrastructure stretched to its limits,  
only the most seriously affected victims were allowed in the hospital  
and, of those, the worst were confined to the wards on the top  
two floors. The cargo lift travelled swiftly upwards as Beverly  
and Estelle quickly read the latest reports of the medical fraternity.  
Like the Enterprise medicos, the planet's scientists had found  
that they could halt the cell division of the virus, but were  
unable to kill it or prevent its spread. Beverly was encouraged  
and gently gripped H'Rasson's arm.  
"This is good. We've reached the same findingsI'm sure  
a cure is within our grasp."  
The tired being looked forlornly at the Doctor, his usual vibrant  
blue skin faded and mottled.  
"I hope so Doctor Crusherso many have diedso  
many will die if we can't"  
She squeezed his arm and looked up as the lift halted and the  
doors opened. The speaker in her helmet didn't mitigate the emotion  
of her words.  
"My God."  
The entire floor, every bit of space, was taken up by narrow wheeled  
beds. Upon them were people in varying degrees of consciousness.  
Mucous, pus and blood was evident on most of them and their laboured  
breathing was loud, along with the anguished groans.  
Steadying her hands, Beverly took her tricorder from its pouch  
and stepped to the nearest patient. She scanned him and his gummy  
eyes opened, staring at her vacantly. He suddenly coughed, thick  
phlegm rattling wetly in his chest. The effort caused his face  
to contort, the cheek flaps wheezing ineffectively. He lifted  
his hand and plucked weakly at her suit, his mouth working silently.  
Beverly took his hand and bent forward, intending to offer words  
of comfort. She froze when he gurgled, his entire body stiffening  
before abruptly falling limply on the bed. The alarm on the tricorder  
sounded and H'Rasson appeared at her shoulder.  
"He's gone."  
He made a sign with his fingers and closed the being's eyes. Shaking  
his bulbous head the Doctor turned the deceased's head and removed  
a metal insignia from the neck. He placed it in his coat pocket  
and faced Beverly.  
"Take your samples Doctor. The laboratory is on the seventh  
floor. I'll meet you there."

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc ate a solitary meal in his quarters  
and tried to read. The book rested comfortably in his hands, the  
silence was perfect and he was pleasantly tired but after reading  
the same paragraph three times, he snapped the book closed and  
snorted angrily.  
Checking the time and finding it quite late, he sighed resignedly  
and entered his bedroom, his nighttime ritual comforting to his  
agitated mind. Once in bed he stretched out on his back and put  
his hands behind his head.  
"What are you doing now?"  
Allowing his mind to wander, he recalled their last erotic encounter,  
remembering how she'd writhed and begged, beseeching him with  
mind and body to bring her to blessed release. He hardened, his  
erection disagreeably confined in his sleep shorts. Taking one  
hand from behind his head, he gently made himself comfortable  
and debated whether or not to tend to his growing need. The call  
from the Bridge settled the matter.  
"Bridge to Captain Picard."  
"Picard here."  
"Sorry to disturb you Sir, but there's an incoming transmission  
from the planet. Doctor Crusher asked if you were available."  
Sitting up, his mind instantly alert, Jean-Luc ordered,  
"Understood. Pipe it down to my quarters. Picard out."  
There was a momentary hiatus before Beverly's voice reached his  
ears.  
"Jean-Luc?"  
"Yes Beverly."  
"Well we're on the job Jean-Lucand it's bloody terrible  
down here."  
"How bad is it?"  
"Shocking. People are dying like flies and there's not a  
damn thing we can do about ityet. It seems the scientists  
here have reached the same results as we have with the drugs,  
we've taken fresh samples and are heading for our labs to begin  
testing."  
"I see. How's the morale?"  
Her voice took on a hint of obvious pride.  
"Well it's early days of course, but everyone's holding up  
just fineespecially considering what we've seen"  
His deep voice took on a note of concern.  
"I understand. Tell mehow's Commander Maguire?"  
The silence surprised him.  
"Beverly?"  
"She's ok. Look I've got a lot to doI'll make another  
report tomorrow. Crusher out."  
The abrupt disconnection startled the Captain. Frowning, he whispered,  
"Very well Beverly, goodnight."  
Thoughtfully, he reached behind him and grabbed the second pillow.  
Lying on his side, he held it to his face and inhaled deeply,  
Estelle's subtle scent infiltrating his senses. Concentrating  
on relaxing his body, he put aside the worries of the mission  
and willed himself to unwind. In time his eyes slowly drifted  
closed as consciousness left him.

 

 

 

 

Lieutenant Alyssa Ogawa, Beverly's trusted head nurse  
and friend approached her boss with a PADD in hand. It contained  
the latest read outs and she was keen to discuss it with her superior.  
"Doctor Crusher?"  
Not looking up from her electron microscope, Beverly barked,  
"What?"  
Alyssa paused, not accustomed to hearing that tone from her usually  
calm and cheerful CMO.  
"IahI have the latest reports."  
With an irritated wave of her hand, Beverly snarled,  
"Can't you see I'm busy?! Use some bloody initiative and  
take them to Commander Maguire. And while you're at it, tell her  
I'm waiting for the Karanton series results. If I have to collect  
them myself there'll be trouble!"  
"Aye Doctor."  
Alyssa left Beverly, worry and alarm skittering across her face.  
She waited for a green light to permit entry into the steri cell  
and found Estelle frowning over a computer terminal.  
"Commander?"  
"Hmm?"  
Proffering the PADD, Alyssa sidled up to the computer.  
"Doctor Crusher said to give you thisand she wants  
the Karanton series resultsumnow."  
Estelle looked up and scowled.  
"Does she now? Well I'm a tad busy at present; she'll just  
have to wait. If she wants me to work faster, she'll have to take  
more of the load."  
The Lieutenant's obviously distressed look didn't go unnoticed.  
"What is it Alyssa?"  
"The Doctor said if she had to come and get it there'd be  
trouble."  
"Bugger! All right Alyssa, don't worry I'll take care of  
it. You go back to compiling the serum data and I'll see to Doctor  
Crusher."  
The look of relief was rewarding. Alyssa exited the cell and Estelle  
quickly downloaded the required information onto an isolinear  
chip. On leaving the cell, she instigated a cleansing cycle and  
waited until the process had finished. She found Beverly glaring  
at a petri dish.  
"You wanted this Doctor?"  
Ignoring her colleague, Beverly held out her hand, impatiently  
shaking it.  
Estelle placed the chip in her palm and turned to leave.  
"Where are you going?"  
"Back to work Doctor."  
"I haven't dismissed you."  
Coming to attention, Estelle's face hardened.  
"Sorry Sir."  
Beverly slowly turned from her study of the dish and frowned at  
the waiting officer.  
"You took your own sweet time getting this to me."  
Gritting her teeth, Estelle kept her voice steady.  
"I have a lot of work to do Doctor. My apologies."  
Beverly stood, accentuating her greater height.  
"If you can't organise yourself properly Commander, you will  
soon become an ineffective member of this team. See to it that  
you prioritise your work accordingly."  
"Aye Sir."  
"Dismissed."  
As she left, the breath hissed through Estelle's teeth.  
"Bitch!"

 

 

 

 

Over the next two days little was heard from the  
away team. Jean-Luc swallowed his irritation knowing Beverly was  
almost overwhelmed with work. Data made a report but it was incomplete,  
the bulk of the information being shared between Beverly and Estelle.  
Until one of them reported in, he would just have to be patient.  
The President made two further attempts to inveigle his family  
aboard the ship, Jean-Luc's deflection of his endeavours earning  
him a very hostile reaction. Upon being threatened with an armed  
response, the Captain put all the weapons on standby and invited  
the leader to scan the ship, paying particular attention to the  
defensive capabilities. It took only minutes until a chastened  
President appeared on the screen.  
"AhI see your point Captain, we would be at a disadvantage  
in a confrontation. My apologies."  
Allowing a studied silence, Jean-Luc moved closer to the screen.  
"President M'burro I do understand your concern, but pleasedo  
not ask me again. I cannot help you."  
The blue being flushed darker and bared his sharp rows of teeth  
in a semblance of a smile. Nodding curtly he severed the connection.  
Late in the afternoon Jean-Luc fidgeted restlessly. In an uncommon  
display, he grunted softly and stood, slowly pacing around the  
Bridge. Will watched silently knowing his Captain would eventually  
give voice his to his concerns.  
Bringing his distracted wanderings to a halt, The Captain tugged  
down on his tunic. Eyeing his First Officer, he grimaced and sighed.  
"I have to contact her."  
Will grinned, acknowledging his reluctance.  
"She won't be happy."  
His face hardening, Jean-Luc sat and raised his head.  
"Picard to Crusher."  
Silence ensued.  
"Captain Picard to Doctor Crusherrespond please."  
Her eventual reply was harsh.  
"Crusher here. What is it?"  
Casting a look if resigned patience at Will, Jean-Luc took a large  
breath.  
"We just want to know how things are progressing Doctor.  
Are you any further..?"  
"Look Captain I'll make a report whenand ifI  
have anything to say! Crusher"  
Standing abruptly, Jean-Luc marched into his Ready Room.  
His voice taking on an unmistakable ring of authority, the Captain  
upbraided his friend.  
"Doctor Crusher you will adopt a more civil tone with me  
or you will find yourself on report!"  
He could hear her breathing as she strove to calm herself.  
"I'm sorry Captain. We're completely snowed under hereeven  
eating and sleeping are luxuries we can't afford. I promise, when  
I have a clearer picture, I'll make a full report."  
Relaxing somewhat Jean-Luc softened his tone.  
"Beverly I understand how difficult things are for you and  
your team, I was simply worried and found I needed to hear from  
you."  
Her chuckle was music to his ears.  
"It's nice to hear your voice too."  
"Are you really going without food and sleep?"  
She sighed audibly.  
"We're getting by on the barest minimum of each I'm afraid.  
Jean-Luc it's awfulthere's so much suffering"  
"How are the team holding up?"  
Amusement tinted her words.  
"Actually Data's been a Godsend. Without meaning to he's  
continually lifting our spiritsthere's so much he doesGod  
Jean-Luc we'd be lost without him."  
Jean-Luc smiled wistfully, nodding to himself.  
"Yes he's got something about him, hasn't he? Tell me Beverly,  
how's?"  
"She's fine Jean-Lucworn out and frazzled, but fine.  
She's a damn good scientist you know."  
His smile widened and he sighed.  
"I knowso are you. Well I'll let you return to your  
workand Beverly? Don't leave it so long to talk to me."  
"I won't Jean-Luc. Crusher out."  
As he strode back onto the Bridge, Will knew the trouble had passed.  
When the Captain had left the Bridge so angrily, Will worried  
that the two of them would butt heads until they bled. He knew  
that the Captain could win any confrontation by simply pulling  
rank, but he also knew Beverly would never let it rest, especially  
if she thought she was in the right. Seeing him so pleased and  
relaxed eased Will's concern.  
The afternoon wore on, the crew of the great ship battling boredom.

 

 

 

 

 

On the eighth day into their research, Estelle had  
a breakthrough. She sat back and stared at the monitor, barely  
believing in what she saw. After administering a new derivation  
of the drug they'd been using the abhorrent virus began to retreat,  
the cells dying at a remarkable rate. Quickly hitting the record  
button, Estelle reached for another sample and repeated the test,  
gaining the same result. She sat back and rubbed her weary face.  
Hitting her combadge she called,  
"Maguire to Data."  
"Data here."  
"Commander could you join me in the steri cell please?"  
"On my way."  
The Commander stared at the screen again willing the carnage amongst  
the cells to continue. She was still lost in thought when the  
android arrived.  
"You wished to see me Commander?"  
Gesturing at the monitor, Estelle sat back, making room.  
"Take a look at this and tell me what you see."  
Data leaned forward, not something he needed to do with his exceptional  
vision, but it was a very Human gesture he wished to emulate.  
Silently staring, his eyebrows rose. He turned to his companion  
and smiled.  
"It would seem you have had success."  
Nodding with satisfaction, Estelle stood and loaded a chip into  
the computer.  
"That's what I thought. OKwho's going to take this  
to Doctor hard arse?"  
Data frowned and cocked his head.  
"I do not believe you should be referring to Doctor Crusher  
in that way. It is detrimental to the chain of command and most  
disrespectful."  
Estelle smirked and shrugged her shoulders.  
"Well the way she's been treating everybody'hard arse'  
is the most innocuous thing I can call her. In fact you're the  
only one she's been civil to. Why is that?"  
Data's mouth turned down at the corners as he considered the question.  
"I do not know, nevertheless you should not"  
Raising her hand, she grinned at her friend.  
"I know, don't worry I'll be Miss Starfleet in her presence."  
Data shook his head, frowning.  
"Commander that is not good enough. Your continued disrespect  
of a senior officer could have very deleterious effects on the  
rest of the team. I must ask you to refrain from such behaviour."  
Estelle's eyes hardened and she scowled.  
"My aren't you a goody-two-shoes? Since when did you get  
so uptight?"  
Data looked down at himself, frowning in consternation.  
"Uptight? My body holds the tension of the skeletal frame  
at precisely"  
"Stop! Never mind."  
Sighing Estelle held up her hands.  
"Look I know you're rightit's just that she's been  
such awell let's simply say she's been very hard to work  
with. Nothing I do seems good enough. For God's sake she had Alyssa  
in tears yesterday!"  
Data frowned.  
"I have noticed a heightened tension emanating from the Doctor,  
however I attributed it to the strains of the current mission.  
Is there another reason for this behaviour?"  
Closing her eyes, Estelle shook her head.  
"Never mind Data. Come onwe'll tackle her together.  
OK?"  
His eyes narrowed but he nodded, stepping back to allow Estelle  
to precede him.

 

 

 

Having created a small office of sorts at the rear  
of one of the huts Beverly sat at a computer correlating data.  
It was menial work, something she should've given to one of her  
staff, but such was her demeanour that she chose to isolate herself  
and work alone. She knew her staff would avoid her anywayher  
behaviour causing tension and friction amongst the workers. She  
caught sight of her hand and slowly raised it, noting the chapped  
skin and chipped nails.  
"Dammitwhen did that happen?"  
Lifting the other hand, she rotated them slowly wincing at the  
reddened appearance and sighing at how quickly it had happened.  
"Bloody hell!"  
She stabbed off the computer and leaned back in her chair, easing  
her aching spine. She thought of calling Alyssa to get the latest  
update but remembered the unfortunate altercation of the previous  
day. Never before had she spoken so harshly to her loyal and gentle  
friend. What provoked the outburst was a mysteryin fact  
her whole attitude these past days was a mystery. That she'd been  
impossible to work with was an understatementshe'd been  
an absolute bitchespecially to Estelleand she had  
absolutely no idea why.  
Sighing, she picked up a PADD and activated it. Her mind was just  
absorbing the information when she heard someone approach.  
"Doctor Crusher?"  
She looked up and made a concerted effort to keep her face neutral.  
"Yes Data?"  
The android looked at his companion and sought her consent. Nodding  
surreptitiously, Estelle straightened her shoulders.  
"Doctor Crusher I think we have something you may wish to  
see."  
Feeling unreasonable irritation, Beverly barked,  
"Bloody hell Datawhat is it?"  
Wordlessly he handed her the chip. She pushed it savagely into  
the computer and turned the monitor abruptly, focussing her attention  
on the evolving image. She watched intently her tension growing.  
When the stream of images ceased she pressed replay and leaned  
closer to the screen. Estelle and Data stood silently, awaiting  
her reaction.  
"Oh my God!"  
Estelle stepped forward and said quietly,  
"It was the Deteron. Eighty milligrams in suspension."  
Without looking at her, Beverly muttered,  
"When? When did you do this?"  
"About twenty minutes ago."  
Beverly stood, her face a mask of concentration.  
"Right! Suit up Commanderwe've got to try this in the  
field. Data you're with us."

 

 

 

Forty-five minutes later the three officers rode  
the lift up to the top floors of the hospital. They met Doctor  
H'Rasson and waited while he selected a patient to trial the drug.  
Waving them over, they manoeuvred through the tightly packed beds  
until they came to an unfortunate individual gasping in distress.  
An old machine stood beside the bed, exchanging fluids and supplementing  
oxygen. With gentle gloved hands, Beverly took a hypospray and  
injected the woman, the whirr of Estelle's tricorder almost lost  
amongst the pitiful sounds of the ward.  
For two and a half hours they stayed by her side, recording and  
scanning. Beverly detected a slight improvement in her breathing  
and attempted to gain closer access to the patient. She found  
her way encumbered by the machine and sighed in exasperation.  
"Commander Maguire help me move this will you?"  
The two women took hold of the machine and began to inch it to  
one side. Still wanting it attached to the patient, they were  
careful with their actions, however it was too much for the ageing  
piece of equipment. With a loud report the lid exploded, the internal  
pressure causing a rupture in the metal. Several shards of steel  
flew outwards, Data's call of alarm unheard.  
Both women staggered back, Estelle falling on her behind. Data  
was at their side immediately, his hands roaming over the containment  
suits.  
"Doctor Crusheryour suit has been punctured! We must  
leave immediately!"  
Estelle climbed to her feet and watched in horror as tears showed  
in Beverly's suit. It wasn't until she looked at Data that she  
realised he was staring at her. Casting her eyes down, her heart  
missed a beat when she saw the rents in her own suit. Data hit  
his combadge.  
"Enterprise, emergency transport, three to beam from these  
coordinates to the command centre."  
They materialised outside the shelters, Data activating the scan  
that would rid them of microscopic pathogens. Stepping through  
the apparatus, the three entered the building and the women began  
to shed the suits.  
The call from the Enterprise sounded tense.  
"Picard to Data."  
"Data here Sir."  
"What has happened?"  
Data looked at the women, noting that Beverly was creating a containment  
field, effectively isolating the room.  
"There has been an incident Captain."  
Jean-Luc's voice was crisp.  
"Elaborate!"  
"Some equipment exploded and the containment suits of Doctor  
Crusher and Commander Maguire were compromised. We have returned  
to the command centre and are in the process of isolating the  
room."  
"Were they injured?"  
Data looked to both women and received shakes of their heads.  
"No Captain."  
"Very well. Keep me advised."  
"Aye Sir."  
Estelle caught Beverly eyes and noted the look of grim worry.  
She swallowed and softened her voice.  
"It might not be that badwe may get away with it."  
Her reply was a stony silence. Beverly worked diligently until  
she had exhausted all the protocols involved. Looking up, she  
pulled her ponytail tighter.  
"OK Data that about does it here. We'll live in this room  
until we know if we're infected or not. No oneno one is  
to come in here without a C-suit. Understand?"  
"Yes Doctor."  
"In the meantime I want you to go back to the hospital and  
check on that patient. It's imperative we know how the drug affected  
her and if the virus has retreated. Take Alyssa and James with  
youand take some extra doses. If the results are good, get  
H'Rasson to select more subjects."  
"Aye Doctor."  
Passing through the steri field, Data set about obeying his superior.

 

 

 

 

 

Seated on a bed, Estelle picked up her boot and threw  
it across the room.  
"Bloody hell! Of all the stupid, half arsed things to happen"  
Beverly gave her a steady look and came to stand over her.  
"Cheer up Commanderjust think, we get to stay in close  
proximity to each other for the foreseeable future. Won't that  
be a hoot?"  
Under her breath, but just loud enough to be heard, Estelle muttered,  
"Oh that's bloody marvellousjust peachy!"  
Beverly glared at her and placed her fists on her hips.  
"My sentiments exactly!"  
She stalked to her bed and sat heavily kicking at the remains  
of her suit with petulance.

 

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc remained seated in his chair, his face  
a stoic mask. Will cast worried looks at Deanna and she frowned  
in return, shaking her head imperceptibly. For over three hours  
he sat in complete silence neither moving nor showing any outward  
sign of distress. When he abruptly stood and strode to the Ready  
Room, a gentle collective sigh went around the Bridge.  
Will took the centre seat and leaned towards his lover.  
"Deanna?"  
"He's blocking meruthlessly suppressing his emotions.  
I don't know how he"  
Her face crumpled and her hands writhed in her lap. Immediately  
concerned, Will stood over her.  
"What is it? Is it the Captain?"  
Nodding, she brushed at her falling tears.  
"Yes! Oh Godthe anguishthe fear"  
Suddenly she sat upright, her face clearing.  
Will knelt and took her hands.  
"No Will it's all right, he's regained control."  
Will looked at the Ready Room door and shook his head.  
"Damn it all to hell!"

 

 

Data, Alyssa and James returned seven hours later.  
The two nurses left to upload their results and Data, after enduring  
the biofilters, entered the sterile room.  
Beverly was dozing but woke with little effort.  
"Data? How did it go?"  
"I have good news Doctor. The first patient has exhibited  
improved respiration and her temperature has decreased three degrees.  
She took some fluids orally and Doctor H'Rasson is considering  
removing the assisting machine."  
Beverly stood and held out her hand for the PADD he held. As she  
read he continued.  
"As ordered, I administered the drug to four subsequent patients  
and, as we left, their condition had begun to improve."  
"Excellent! Now we have to develop a vaccine. It's one thing  
to beat this bloody thing, but quite another to protect the population  
from further assaults."  
Estelle turned over and yawned.  
"Data let me have the serology reports will you? I think  
I can get started on that."  
Beverly frowned at the interruption.  
"As I was saying"  
Data shook his head.  
"I am sorry DoctorCommander, you are both off duty  
until you are cleared of the virus."  
Beverly was instantly incensed.  
"What!? Data that makes no sense whatsoever! If we're going  
to be locked up in here, at least give us something to do for  
God's sake!"  
Data stood his ground.  
"No Doctor I am afraid that is impossible. If you are indeed  
infected, the symptoms could be swift in appearing and quite debilitating.  
I cannot allow you to work, to do so would be counter productive."  
Estelle swung her legs off the bed and slowly stood.  
"But surely Data you can't discount our knowledge and familiarity  
with the work? It would be counter productive to deny us."  
Shaking his head, Data sighed.  
"I am sorry but my decision stands, the protocol in these  
instances is quite clear. Please consider yourselves off duty  
until further notice."  
As he turned to leave, Beverly tried once more.  
"Data who will do the work?"  
He turned back to her and said quietly,  
"I will Doctor."

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc sat rigidly in his chair, the silence of  
the Ready Room making his hearing acute. Since his brief loss  
of control, he'd ruthlessly suppressed his emotions and forced  
himself to concentrate on the problem at hand. In essence, he  
had two valuable crewmembers in a precarious situation. Best-case  
scenario was that they would be unaffected by the virus and, after  
a brief isolation, would return to their work. On the other hand,  
one or both of them could be struck down thereby hindering what  
was already a difficult assignment.  
The question waswhat to do? He couldn't send down any more  
staff, it was pointless; the experts were already there. He shook  
his head and raised his eyes to the ceiling.  
"Picard to Data."  
The reply was instantaneous.  
"Data here Captain."  
"What is your status?"  
"We have isolated Doctor Crusher and Commander Maguire and  
I have taken over as team leader."  
Jean-Luc sat back and ran his hand over his bald pate.  
"I see. Can you carry on the work?"  
"Yes Captain, in fact we have had a breakthrough. This afternoon  
Commander Maguire successfully trailed Deteron, from a family  
of drugs that had shown some promise. Under Doctor Crusher's supervision  
it was administered to several patients with encouraging results."  
The Captain ran his fingers over his lower lip.  
"If either of them are infected can this drug help them?"  
"There are significant differences in the physiology between  
the population and Humans. I would be reluctant to try."  
"I see. What is the incubation period?"  
"With the native populace it is approximately eighteen hours."  
"But we don't know how it will affect Humans?"  
"No Captain."  
"Well Data you must know I can't send down any more personnel.  
Did Doctor Crusher issue any orders?"  
"Yes Sir. Before I relieved her of duty, she ordered the  
pursuit of a vaccine. She wishes to protect the population from  
further outbreaks."  
Smiling grimly, the Captain nodded.  
"Typical."  
"And are you and your staff equipped to do that and care  
for Doctor Crusher and Commander Maguire should they succumb to  
the virus?"  
"I believe so Captain. I think I can spare one nurse to full  
time care if the need arises."  
"Very good Commander. I want regular reports and five hourly  
updates on their condition. Picard out."  
He allowed his head to lower, his chin resting on his chest. Reaching  
forward, he fisted his hands on the desktop and breathed deeply.  
His mind crowded with thoughts, both women at the forefront, but,  
without his awareness, Beverly loomed largest. Her face floated  
in his mind, the light in her cerulean eyes, the soft uptilt of  
her lips as she smiled, the tumultuous fall of her lustrous red  
hairthe images intoxicated him and his consciousness cried  
out,  
"Come home to me Beverly!"

 

 

 

 

 

Eight and a quarter hours later Data's voice came  
over the speaker.  
"Data to Captain Picard."  
Stirring to instant wakefulness, Jean-Luc turned over and balked  
as his first attempt to speak failed. Clearing his throat, he  
tried again.  
"Picard here."  
"Captain I must report that it would appear both Doctor Crusher  
and Commander Maguire have contracted the virus. In the last three  
hours their temperatures have risen alarmingly and significant  
congestion has developed in their lungs."  
Jean-Luc sat up, swinging his legs out of bed.  
"Can you treat it?"  
"We are administering drugs appropriate to their symptoms  
however, to date, we have had no success."  
"Datahow are they?"  
There was a moment's silence as Data processed the query. He knew  
his Captain was not asking about their physical state and he wrestled  
to find the proper response.  
"I would say Captainthey areangry. Doctor Crusher  
in particular is very agitated. She wishes to work, even though  
she is severely debilitated. There is significant pain in her  
joints curtailing almost all movement yet still she strives to  
keep active. They want continual updates on their condition and  
the progress of the mission and I have been forced to comply with  
their wishes to maintain peace."  
Jean-Luc smiled in the darkness of his bedroom, dressing by feel.  
"That sounds like Beverly. Is Commander Maguire any more  
compliant?"  
"Barely Sir. She seems to be more afflicted, her body has  
succumbed faster than Doctor Crusher's."  
Striding into the living area, Jean-Luc called for lights. He  
seated himself at his desk and instructed Data,  
"Send all you have on their condition to Sickbay. Have Doctor  
Selar run every test she canwe need to get on top of this  
if we can, remember we still have samples of the virus aboard.  
In particular I want Selar to ascertain what effect Deteron has  
on Human physiology. If we are forced to use it I want to know  
exactly what it will do."  
"Aye Sir."  
"And Data? Tell both of them they are in my thoughts. Picard  
out."

 

Estelle groaned low in her throat as another wave  
of pain surged through her fevered body. She barely felt the cool  
cloth wiping her forehead. Her body suddenly tensed, the pain  
increasing to unbearable levels as her limbs contorted. With abrupt  
speed, the spasm passed and she slumped onto the mattress panting  
heavily.  
Gentle gloved hands raised her head and blessedly cool water slipped  
into her mouth. Her eyes fluttered open and stared through the  
faceplate of her benefactor. It took some time for her to recognise  
Alyssa Ogawa. Risking the inevitable burst of pain, she raised  
her hand and weakly gripped the arm closest to her. Through the  
speaker, the voice was calm.  
"Steady Commander, just try to relax."  
She blinked and was surprised as tears oozed down her face. Another  
voice was heard and she had to concentrate fiercely to place it.  
"Raise the foot of her bed Alyssa, it will help her to breathe."  
Her angel disappeared and Estelle felt a pang of grief. The gentle  
jostling of the bed made her recall the voice. Suddenly her mind  
provided the answer. Licking her dry lips, Estelle summoned her  
voice.  
"Doctor Crusher?"  
Although only just audible, Beverly heard her.  
"Yes Estelle it's me."  
With great effort, Estelle turned towards the voice and tried  
to focus her streaming eyes. She blinked several times, eventually  
giving up. Instead she tried her voice again.  
"How are you?"  
The dry chuckle was followed by a wince and a moan.  
"I've seen better days. These damn spasms are the pits! Bloody  
hell they hurt."  
The Commander managed a nod then grimaced as she was wracked by  
a bout of coughing. Left breathless and sweating, the cool cloth  
returned and Estelle fought the urge to cry. Instead she asked,  
"How's the work progressing?"  
The cot squeaked as Beverly moved, her reply was strained.  
"The Deteron has been successful. They're replicating and  
administering it as fast as they can. So far there are no adverse  
side effects, although some patients require several doses."  
Straining to maintain the train of thought, Estelle endured another  
excruciating spasm, her jaw clenching. When it passed she asked,  
"And the vaccine? Any progress there?"  
Wet coughing took Alyssa from her side and she only just made  
out the shapes of the two women as Alyssa helped Beverly through  
the bout. It passed and Beverly panted weakly.  
"Data saysthere is some hopeHe thinks antibodieswill  
be produced. We can harvest themproduce aserum"  
The Commander gasped as she tried to move. Knife-like agony sliced  
through her body and she stilled immediately.  
"Makes good sense. Thank God for Deteron eh?"  
Beverly grunted and moaned as her body contorted painfully. Alyssa  
helped her through it and sponged her beaded brow. The Doctor  
gathered her failing strength.  
"We have a problem."  
"What's that?"  
"If we continue to deteriorate, Data may have to use Deteron  
on us."  
Estelle closed her eyes and concentrated on what Beverly had said.  
Her foggy mind wrestled with the words.  
"But we don't know"  
"Exactly. It may be a silver bullet, or it may kill us."  
The chuckle caused tearing pain but Estelle didn't care.  
"The operation was a success but the patient died."  
There was silence and more tears slipped from Estelle's eyes.  
"How long until he tries?"  
"Last resort I suppose. Nothing else has workedI guess  
he'll wait until he's got no choice."  
"Bugger."  
Beverly sighed, the action evoking another protracted bout of  
coughing. When she recovered she asked,  
"Did you get Jean-Luc's message?"  
Estelle opened her eyes and frowned.  
"He sent a message? I don't remember."  
"Uh huh. He says you're in his thoughts."  
Estelle smiled.  
"Howcivil."  
The Commander could hear the smile in the other woman's voice.  
"Oh yes. Trust Jean-Luc to maintain protocol. I think he  
was born that wayalready programmed for diplomacy."  
Estelle attempted a laugh. It was some minutes until the coughing  
eased. This time Alyssa admonished her.  
"Stop that, it doesn't help! Just lie quietly and try to  
conserve your strength."  
Turning to her boss, her voice hardened when she saw the smirk.  
"That applies to you too Doctor!"  
Chastened, both women settled, the unpleasant symptoms supplanting  
their banter.

 

 

 

 

 

"So what you're saying iswe have no other  
option? What does Selar say?"  
Data's voice continued its usual calm intonation.  
"Her studies are largely inconclusive. Without the ability  
to physically test the drug on a living Human, the computer can  
only give approximations as to its predicted effects."  
Jean-Luc scowled and shook his head.  
"That's not good enough Data! Godwe can't administer  
a drug with unknown repercussions."  
"I agree with you Captain but we are fast approaching an  
impasse. Both patients have deteriorated to the point where their  
lives hang in the balance. Commander Maguire in particular is  
dangerously close to death."  
Jean-Luc closed his eyes, his heart rate accelerating.  
"Why?"  
"We have discovered she has a minor heart defect. Under normal  
circumstances it would be of no consequence, it is so trivial  
it was never repaired, but the virus has attacked the organ and  
it is failing."  
"And Doctor Crusher?"  
Her main areas of concern are her lungs and liver. Captain we  
have run out of optionswe must act."  
The Captain threw his crystal shard down on his desk.  
"Dammit Data!"  
In the silence of the Ready Room he swore quietly and vehemently.  
"All right you have my permission to use the drugBUT  
you have Sickbay send down every conceivable monitoring deviceevery  
available scrap of informationfor God's sake we mustn't  
forget this drug was sourced in the delta quadrant. Who knows  
what it could do."  
"There have been several studies Captainperhaps you  
might like to read them?"  
Jean-Luc couldn't suppress a small smile.  
"Any involving Humans?"  
"No Sir."  
The Captain let the matter drop.  
"Data I am going to instigate an uplink giving continual  
feed. I want this channel kept open for the foreseeable future."  
"Aye Captain."  
"Picard out."  
He sat quietly in his sanctuary absently listening to the sounds  
of the open link. He heard Data order the equipment from Sickbay  
and was heartened when he realised Selar had an extensive file  
on the drug. He had done all he could do to protect the womenall  
he could do now was wait.

 

 

 

 

 

Beverly slowly became aware that there were voices  
close by. Her filmy eyes opened sluggishly and she battled to  
focus. With determined concentration, she tried to decipher the  
words.  
"What?"  
Cool hands brushed her face.  
"It is I Doctor CrusherData. Please lie quietly."  
She felt soft sticky pads being placed over her body and she roused  
again.  
"What are you doing?"  
"We are going to administer Deteron. These probes will closely  
monitor your responses to the drug."  
"When?"  
"We will treat Commander Maguire first."  
Beverly tried to lift her arm and failed. Panting she shook her  
head imperceptibly.  
"No Data. If you must test ittest it on me."  
Data took her hand and rubbed his thumb over it.  
"That is not possible Doctor. The Commander is near deathwe  
must use the drug on her first."  
"But"  
"Hush Doctor and try to rest. You will need what strength  
you have left."  
He left her and settled next to Estelle. Nodding to Alyssa, he  
watched as a hypospray was gently pressed against her neck. The  
hiss was chilling in the quiet room, the soft rapid beating of  
her heart audible via the monitor. Intubated, her chest rose and  
fell as the respirator sustained her. The cardiac arrest came  
without warning. Alyssa applied stimulators and delivered a low  
voltage charge to the weakly spasming heart. With no success,  
she raised the voltage and tried again. This time the heart began  
beating again, the deficient organ struggling to maintain a pulse.  
Data handed Alyssa a tricorder and asked,  
"Is there anything you can do to ease the burden on the heart?"  
Shaking her head, the nurse concentrated on her task.  
"No Sir, not unless we bypass it altogether, although we  
may be forced to do just that."  
The alarm on the tricorder sounded and both officers watched as  
the heart monitor showed increased distress. Estelle's body suddenly  
stiffened in an appalling rictus and blood oozed from her nose.  
She trembled uncontrollably her congested lungs inflating haphazardly,  
offsetting the rhythm of the respirator.  
"Can you give her a relaxant?"  
Alyssa shook her head.  
"No Sir I don't know how it would react with the Deteron."  
Data gripped Estelle's shoulders and held her down as the convulsion  
slowly eased.  
Removing his hands, Data picked up an instrument and held it up,  
calculating the requirements. Placing the nozzle against the fevered  
skin of her neck, he withdrew a sample. The android checked to  
see the vial was filled with blood.  
Alyssa watched as he stood and pulled a computer closer. Inserting  
the sample he waited with remarkable patience as the machine made  
its evaluation. It chimed musically when it was ready and Data  
quickly assimilated the information.  
"The drug is having an effect. There is evidence of retreat  
in the cardio vascular system. Lieutenant scan the heart again."  
Alyssa took a specialised instrument and placed it over the failing  
organ. She adjusted the input parameters and waited until a green  
light showed brightly. Pressing a button, the instrument disgorged  
its data.  
"Yes! The virus is in retreathowever there's a lot  
of damage. We need to get a regeneration beam in place. The added  
strength gained from the recovered muscle fibres may be enough  
to tip the balance."  
"Make it so."  
Smiling to herself, the nurse pulled over the regen apparatus  
and sited it over Estelle's chest. Selecting an appropriate intensity,  
she activated it, the intense blue light reflecting eerily on  
her faceplate. Data returned to the computer and analysed the  
concentration of the virus in her blood, frowning at the result.  
He returned to his patient and was about to inject more Deteron  
when Alyssa voiced her concern.  
"Sir! Shouldn't we wait a little longer to see how the first  
dose manages?"  
"No Lieutenant we should not. There is not enough of the  
drug in her system to adequately do the job."  
"But Commander"  
Data hesitated only long enough to reply.  
"Monitor the patient Lieutenant."  
He administered the drug and Estelle slipped into deeper unconsciousness.  
For two hours they sat by her side, constantly monitoring her  
responses.  
It was the respirator alarm that stirred them. Alyssa immediately  
scrutinised the machine, turning to Data with a broad smile on  
her face.  
"She just challenged the respirator. She's trying to breathe  
on her own."  
Data scanned Estelle, nodding with satisfaction as the instrument  
identified the decreased congestion in the lungs. He also noted  
her coma had abated and that her temperature had eased."  
"Keep monitoring her. I will treat Doctor Crusher."  
Without waiting for a reply, Data left Estelle and seated himself  
beside the semiconscious Doctor. He scanned her and gently turned  
her head to better access her neck. In her dazed condition, Beverly  
was dimly aware of the movement but was unable to do anything  
about it. She heard the hiss of the hypospray as is from a great  
distance and a grim thought flitted through her mind.  
"Well I'll either recover or die. So be it."  
Data was ready when her heart stopped. The external stimulation  
was successful and the convulsions, when they occurred, were handled  
accordingly. What the android wasn't prepared for was the dreadful  
throat tearing coughing that overtook the Doctor. Rolling her  
onto her side, she coughed until she vomited. Unable to breathe,  
Data quickly cleared her airway and applied a mask, oxygen pouring  
into her tortured lungs. More wrenching coughing ensued, a sudden  
expulsion of blood from her mouth causing Data to scan her again.  
"Lieutenant Doctor Crusher has torn some bronchi. She requires  
surgery. Can you assist?"  
"Yes Sirbut can you do it?"  
"I will download the appropriate information. Please make  
preparations."  
While Data accessed medical database, Alyssa readied both patient  
and bed for the emergency operation. The Captain's voice filtering  
through was tinged with fear.  
"Lieutenant Ogawa report."  
"We have to operate on Doctor Crusher Captain. She has damaged  
her upper lungs and requires assistance."  
"Can you manage?"  
Alyssa cast her eyes over Data who was staring intently at a computer  
monitor as text and diagrams scrolled at a phenomenal rate.  
"Yes I think so Captain. Mr.Data is downloading what he needs  
to know."  
"How is Commander Maguire?"  
"Slowly improving Sir. She may yet need another dose of the  
drugand she's not out of the woods, but I'm hopeful."  
"Very well. Report when the surgery in completed. Picard  
out."

 

By now in his quarters the Captain sat at his desk tensely  
listening to the open link. He'd not eaten and had only managed  
three hours sleep since the accident occurred. Absently scratching  
his jaw, he registered the stubble and grimaced in distaste. Rising  
slowly, he flexed his shoulders and wandered into the bathroom,  
his mind's eye picturing what was taking place on the planet below.  
As he shaved his thoughts centred on Beverly, sending her subliminal  
messages of love and support. He would not entertain the thought  
that she might die; to do so would be to admit defeat, something  
not in his nature. Besides such an occurrence would most certainly  
destroy him, body and soul. Without Beverly in his life he would  
have no direction, no reason to carry on and no joy. The only  
thing he would consider was that he decried the lack of opportunity  
to tell once more how much he loved her.  
Placing the isorazor back in its holder, he made his way to the  
sofa and sat, a deep frown creasing his brow. He rested his head  
on the cushions and closed his eyes as the sounds of the surgery  
continued.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It took only forty-five minutes but Alyssa was  
mightily relieved when it was over. Running the tissue regenerator  
over the incision, Data's gloved hands held the instrument as  
if he'd been born to it. Another dose had been administered and  
the scans showedfinallythat the congestion was easing.  
The liver had begun to function again, albeit at a much-reduced  
capacity and her latest blood chemistry was encouraging.  
A gentle beeping from across the room had Data nodding at his  
assistant.  
"See to that Lieutenant."  
Alyssa went to Estelle and checked the readings on the monitor.  
Smiling she turned to her companion.  
"Commander I think we can remove the breathing tube. She's  
overridden the respirator."  
Data looked up and nodded once.  
"Very well Lieutenant. How is her heart?"  
Taking the time to read the information on the regen apparatus,  
Alyssa replied,  
"The muscle fibres are strengthening and the contractions  
are stronger. Blood pressure is climbing and temperature is decreasing."  
As he placed a regen unit over Beverly's chest, Data was silent  
as he set the intensity of the beam. With the congestion decreasing,  
Beverly was breathing easier and her oxygen levels were rising.  
Alyssa watched him, her thoughts troubled.  
"Sir? Do you think the worst is over?"  
"I do not know Lieutenant. All we can do is be vigilant."  
Raising his head slightly, he called his Captain.  
"Captain Picard?"  
"Here Data. How did it go?"  
"We were successful Captain. Doctor Crusher is now breathing  
with increased efficiency and her liver is recovering. Commander  
Maguire has been taken off the respirator and her heart is responding  
favourably to treatment."  
Jean-Luc sighed expansively and rubbed his large hands over his  
face.  
"Well done Mr.Data. You and Lieutenant Ogawa have done a  
superlative job. A recommendation for a commendation will be submitted  
and my personal acknowledgement of your actions will be entered  
into your permanent records."  
"Thank you Captain."  
"Are they still unconscious?"  
Looking over his two patients, Data's eyes automatically recorded  
their status.  
"Yes Captain I would expect them to remain so for quite some  
time yet."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beverly rose sluggishly towards wakefulness. Her  
mouth was uncomfortably dry, her tongue stuck to her palate. As  
she became more aware, she concentrated on her body, assessing  
her condition. Deciding that she felt unbearably heavy, she attempted  
to move and was confused when nothing happened.  
"All rightopen your eyes."  
It took some effort, but one eye at least cracked open. She blinked  
slowly trying to clear the dark curtain from her vision. An alarm  
sounded quietly and someone came to her side.  
"Doctor Crushercan you hear me?"  
She tried to nod but her body wouldn't respond. Forcing her tongue  
over her chapped lips, she mustered her voice.  
"Who?"  
"It's Simon Adams Doctor. Mr.Data and Lieutenant Ogawa are  
running a spectral analysis of the refined vaccine. I've called  
them, they will be here soon."  
Wishing fervently that she could rub her eyes, Beverly sighed.  
"Can't move."  
His voice through the speaker sounded synthetic.  
"Your body has been through a lot Doctor, it will take some  
time for you to recover. Ah, Commander Data is back."  
Beverly heard the Ensign stand and another take his place. A hand  
touched her face.  
"Doctor Crusher I am happy to see you awake."  
"Data?"  
"Yes Doctor."  
Feeling a wave of weakness wash over her, Beverly closed her eye.  
"Data I can't move."  
There was silence as he processed the disclosure.  
"Do you mean you cannot move at all, or specific areas of  
your body?"  
"So far I can't move my arms, legs or headand Data  
I don't think I can see."  
She heard him stand and move away. Moments later he returned and  
she heard the sound of a processing tricorder. When the warm,  
wet swab gently wiped her eyes, she gasped.  
"It is all right Doctor. There is a lot of detritus in your  
eyes, perhaps that has occluded your vision."  
His careful attention helped her to relax, the sensation lulling.  
He finished and she heard the bowl being placed on the floor.  
"Doctor see if you can open your eyes now."  
Beverly was relieved when her eyes opened effortlessly. Her elation  
quickly died when she realised she couldn't see.  
"Data hold up your hand near my eyes."  
She waited impatiently.  
"Are you doing it?"  
"Yes Doctor."  
"Dammit Data I can't see it! Get a light."  
When he returned she was startled when he gently placed a hand  
behind her head and lifted. She was about to speak when she felt  
the rim of a glass against her lips.  
"Drink Doctor."  
The water was deliciously cool and slid wonderfully down her dry  
throat. Her thirst awakened and she tried to gulp the liquid down  
but the android prevented her.  
"No more Doctor. I will give you additional water later."  
He laid her head back on the pillow and turned on the small medical  
light.  
"I will shine the light in your eyes now Doctor."  
With a technique he'd learned from the computer, he flashed the  
light up and down in each eye, noting the total lack of pupil  
reaction.  
With quiet efficiency he doused the light and reported.  
"Your eyes do not react to the light Doctor. Were you able  
to perceive any light?"  
Growing frustrated at her inability to move, Beverly clenched  
her jaw.  
"No nothingnot even shades of light or dark. There's  
just this darknesswhat the hell's going on?"  
Beverly felt the blanket being straightened.  
"I can only surmise the Deteron has damaged your body, that  
or the virus has had unforeseeable effects on you. We knew it  
was a risk using the drug however we felt there was no other option.  
As soon as you are completely free of the virus, we should be  
able to transport you to the Enterprise for further treatment.  
Doctor Selar has contacted Starfleet Medical and has amassed much  
information about the drug. I am hopeful she will be able to help  
you."  
"What about Estelle?"  
"She is still unconscious, but I do expect her to waken soon."  
Beverly sighed.  
"Make sure you're with her Data. If this has happened to  
her too she might panic."  
"Yes Doctor."  
"So tell mewhat happed to the virusdid we beat  
it?"  
Beverly could hear the smile in his soft voice.  
"Indeed we did Doctor. Over the past four days there has  
been mass treatments undertaken with excellent results. The mortality  
rate had dropped to almost zero and the hospitals are slowly emptying.  
This morning Lieutenant James and Commander McAuliffe successfully  
tested the vaccine and it is being replicated as we speak."  
Beverly's eyes darted back and forth.  
"Four days? You mean I was unconscious for four days?"  
"Yes Doctor you both were."  
Sighing Beverly closed her eyes.  
"Damn what a mess. I was sent here to help, not become a  
bloody victim!"  
"Nevertheless Doctor"  
Data was silenced by the quiet chiming of Estelle's medical alarm.  
He squeezed Beverly's hand and left her, taking a seat beside  
the Commander.  
Estelle's sharp intake of breath was followed by some half-hearted  
coughing. Data held her hand and spoke softly.  
"Please be still Commander. Everything is all right, I will  
wash you eyes."  
The Commander reacted to his voice and relaxed. She was aware  
of the warm swabs and attempted to pat Data's arm but she frowned  
when her arm refused to move. About to speak, she was halted by  
Data.  
"I am going to lift you head to give you a drink. Please  
do not gulp the liquid."  
She meant to nod her acquiescence, however Data was lifting her  
head and she was very thirsty so she abandoned the attempt.  
After her drink Data took her hand.  
"Commander you may experience some difficulties in moving  
your body. Has that occurred?"  
Passing her tongue over her lips, she uttered.  
"YesI can't move my arms or my head."  
"And your lower limbscan you move your legs?"  
A quick try caused her heart to accelerate. Data observed this  
and gently gripped her shoulder.  
"Stay calm Lieutenant. Open your eyes."  
Suddenly Estelle's breathing was very rapid.  
"Data!...I'm blind!"  
The android took her hands and spoke calmly.  
"Please Commander do not panic. We believe"  
"Don't panic? For God's sake I'm paralysed and blind! What  
the hell do you think I..?"  
"Commander!"  
His ringing tone stilled her tongue. Clamping her mouth shut,  
she willed the surging fear to subside. Data watched as she struggled  
for control and waited patiently until she won the battle. Taking  
a large breath, Estelle swallowed.  
"So tell mewhat is it, the Deteron?"  
"Yes, that would be my assumption, although we cannot discount  
the virus. The native population has shown no after effects from  
the illness, however we do not know how it can affect Humans.  
It could be that it is a part of the recovery process. We will  
know more once we get you back to the Enterprise."  
Alyssa Ogawa appeared at Data's side and handed him a PADD. The  
Commander quickly read it and stood.  
"Lieutenant I will be in the steri cell. Consult the tricorder  
readings and treat them accordingly. Please see to it that both  
patients receive some sustenance and a thorough cleansing."  
"Aye Sir."  
Beverly's chuckle reached the officers.  
"Are you angling for my job Data?"  
He stepped over to her bed, bending down to her.  
"Not at all Doctor. Nothing would give me greater satisfaction  
than to see you resume your duties as CMO."  
Her voice was soft.  
"Thank you dear friend."  
He gently squeezed her hand and left.

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc had been waiting for Data's report. Seated  
at his desk in the Ready Room, his chin upon his chest, he'd been  
asleep only ten minutes when he startled awake as the android's  
voice infiltrated his mind.  
"Data to Captain Picard."  
"Picard here. How are they?"  
"Both patients have awakened, however their condition is  
causing some concern."  
Dread filled the Captain's gut.  
"How so? What is wrong?"  
"For reasons that are unclear, both Doctor Crusher and Commander  
Maguire are suffering paralysis and blindness."  
There was silence as Jean-Luc squeezed his eyes shut and fisted  
his hands. Willing his voice to relay a calmness he didn't feel,  
he replied,  
"Is it permanent? Can you treat it?"  
"Unknown Captain. We cannot be certain what has caused the  
conditions. It may be the virus or the drug or a combination of  
both. We will know more once they are aboard the Enterprise."  
"And when will that be?"  
"If our calculations are correct it should be sometime tomorrow  
morning. The virus has been eliminated and we are now concentrating  
on repairing the damaged organs. The most recent blood tests show  
a promising recovery of the cardio-vascular system. In that regard  
I anticipate no complications."  
"I see. How are the rest of the team?"  
"Everyone is functioning well Captain. The staff is looking  
forward to disposing of the C-suits, although I must add they  
are very concerned about the patients, especially Doctor Crusher.  
Despite her recent behaviour they still care about her."  
Jean-Luc frowned and leaned forward.  
"Her recent behaviour? Explain."  
"Doctor Crusher has beensomewhattense. Her demeanour  
has been rather curt, almost adversarial. She has had little patience  
and was not averse to upbraiding the staff for any perceived lack  
of dedication."  
The Captain's frown deepened and his eyes glittered.  
"That doesn't sound like Doctor Crusher. How long has this  
been going on?"  
"She has been like that since we transported down."  
"And now?"  
"Although I sense she is worried and frightened by her predicament,  
she has been rational, calm and compliant."  
"Data I'm coming down."  
As he rose from his desk, Data's voice took on an uncharacteristic  
hardness.  
"No Captain. With all due respect Sir I cannot allow it.  
Until we can declare this planet free of all traces of the disease  
it would be most unwise for you to imperil yourself in such a  
manner. I am sorry Captain."  
Slamming both fists down on the desk, Jean-Luc snarled,  
"Dammit Data! I would wear a containment suit, observe all  
the appropriate protocolsI am familiar with the procedures."  
"I am aware of that Captain however the risk is still too  
great. Please Captainthey will be aboard tomorrow."  
Sighing heavily Jean-Luc slumped into his chair.  
"Are you telling me to be patient and not interfere?"  
The silence spoke volumes. Instead of expecting a reply, Jean-Luc  
asked,  
"Will you give them a message?"  
"Of course Captain."  
"Tell them I look forward to seeing themand to keep  
their spirits up. I'm sure we'll find an answer to this."  
"Yes Captain. Sir may I ask you something?"  
Sitting up straighter the Captain cocked his head, a single eyebrow  
rising.  
"What is it?"  
"Captain have you been looking after yourself?"  
His face darkened, his eyes narrowing.  
"I beg your pardon?"  
"It had been my experience that you tend to neglect your  
health when members of your staff are placed in danger. Specifically  
you refrain from eating and go without sufficient sleep. Has that  
been the case?"  
Gritting his teeth and trying to quell the rising anger, Jean-Luc's  
deep voice was laced with venom.  
"Exactly what business is it of yours?"  
"Captain Doctor Crusher is also aware of your habits and  
will be concerned. I am attempting to circumvent her worry by  
being able to tell her that you are well. If you will give me  
an indication that you will eat a proper meal and get some quality  
sleep before they return, I will be able to report with honesty  
and not have togild the lily."  
Jean-Luc had to smile; the situation was just too preposterous.  
His Second Officer had just told him to have a decent meal and  
go to bed. Shaking his head at the absurdity of it all, the Captain  
sighed.  
"Very well Mr.Data I will do as you suggest. However Commander  
don't make a habit of itunderstood?"  
His voice was edged with steel and Data decided he'd used up all  
of his luck.  
"Yes Captain I understand completely."  
"Good. Picard out."

 

 

 

 

 

Tired from the effort of being fed and washed, Estelle  
lay in her bed staring sightlessly at the ceiling. With morbid  
sarcasm she pondered her situation.  
"So! What can a paralysed, blind microbiologist do? What  
stirring inspirational speech will they deliver to cheer us up?  
Fuck! This is such a major cock up!"  
Suddenly remembering her roommate and her almost reasonable attitude  
during the early stages of the disease, Estelle called out softly,  
"Doctor Crusher?"  
Beverly had been lying with her eyes closed attempting to move  
her limbs by will power. Small beads of sweat pearled on her forehead  
and a deep frown marred her face. The voice broke her precarious  
concentration.  
"What!?"  
Wincing at her tone, Estelle pressed on.  
"How are you?"  
"How the hell do you think I am? Jesus if you're going to  
ask me something at least make it a sensible question!"  
Anger rising rapidly the Commander's voice bordered on insubordination.  
"All rightif we're paralysed why can we use our mouths?  
We can talk, eatwhy? And our faces, I don't know about you,  
but I have facial expressions. Why?"  
Beverly frowned and screwed her eyes tightly shut. Through clenched  
teeth the red head replied,  
"The required movement must be somehow connected with the  
autonomic system, the one that governs the function of our organs."  
"OK but is that normal? I thought they were two different  
systems. One automatic, one voluntary?"  
Opening her eyes the Doctor sighed in frustration.  
"That is so but I think there has been a major disruption  
to the normal functions. Think of it as a default position."  
"But why..?"  
"Shit Commander! I don't know! Will you just shut up and  
give me some bloody peace and quiet?"  
Estelle scowled and wished fervently she could make an obscene  
gesture. Stymied she muttered under her breath,  
"Sanctimonious bitch!"

 

 

 

 

 

The night was a long one for the two women. Fortunately  
they had control of their bodily functions, but of course they  
required assistance. It caused embarrassment and humiliation,  
Beverly's acerbic tongue alienating the staff. By morning everyone  
was exhausted.  
Data, who had been meeting with the planet's medical fraternity,  
returned to the centre, his thoughts directed at the imminent  
departure of the entire staff. Already crew from the Enterprise  
had arrived to begin dismantling the structures. He nodded with  
satisfaction as he saw the crew were without containment suits.  
Entering the centre, he went straight to the patient's room. He  
had only just entered the room when Beverly accosted him.  
"Data is that you?"  
"Yes Doctor."  
"When can we get out of here?"  
Her tone was irritated and he noted her sullen expression.  
"Very soon Doctor. I just have to"  
"Data!"  
Seeking to calm the Doctor, Data sat beside her and said softly,  
"Captain Picard has sent you a message."  
She swallowed and closed her eyes.  
"He did? What is it?"  
"He said he is looking forward to seeing you and to keep  
your spirits up. He wanted to come down but I wouldn't allow it.  
Do you think I have damaged my relationship with him?"  
Beverly's smile was a small one but it cheered him nonetheless.  
"No Data, he knows you did the right thing. Tell mehow  
is he? I suppose he's been going without food and sleep?"  
Smiling to himself Data delivered his rehearsed speech.  
"I can report that he has eaten and slept Doctor. I had a  
chat with him about it."  
Beverly's smile grew.  
"Really? And how did he react to thischat?"  
Data cocked his head a slight frown on his face.  
"He wasreluctantat first to accept mysuggestions,  
but, being a sensible and dedicated officer, he saw that I was  
making a valid request and heacquiesced."  
"Did he yell at you?"  
"Only a little."  
"You were fortunate indeed. He can be the most stubborn,  
obtuse, pig headed, insufferable twit when it comes to his health.  
He thinks he's indestructibleable to survive on air and  
concentration. God there have been times when"  
"Excuse me Doctor but I do not think it is appropriate that  
we continue this conversation."  
Beverly chortled and grinned wickedly.  
"I suppose not. OK Data, complete your duties and get us  
out of here."  
"Very well Doctor."  
The android moved to Estelle's side and ran a scan. As he worked  
he told her in a subdued voice the Captain's message. She smiled  
and sighed, winking at the Commander. He stared down at her, a  
look of confusion on his face.

 

Jean-Luc was in the Command chair on the Bridge  
when the call came through.  
"Selar to Captain Picard."  
"Picard here."  
"Captain the patients have arrived in Sickbay. Their condition  
is stable."  
"Very well I will be down shortly Picard out."  
Turning to Will, Jean-Luc asked,  
"Are we finished on the planet?"  
"Aye Sir. The President has requested a meeting with youI  
told him I would get back to him."  
The Captain sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was listen  
to a bureaucrat trying to regain his credibility. The man had  
behaved reprehensibly and they both knew it. Now that the crisis  
was over, the politician would try to smooth over his behaviour  
and Jean-Luc, ever the accomplished diplomat, would have to grin  
and bear it.  
"Very well Number one I'll check my schedule and let you  
know. It will most probably be around fourteen hundred."  
"Yes Captain. Tell Beverly we miss her at the poker nights.  
Geordi has actually been winning in her absence."  
His smile was warm and he left the Bridge with a feeling of anticipation.

 

 

 

 

 

Her voice was the first thing he heard as the Sickbay  
doors sighed open.  
"And another thing Selarsince when do you insist I  
can't be privy to my notes? I'm still the CMO and I'll be damned  
if I'm to be treated like a piece of meat! Get my notes and be  
quick about it!"  
Jean-Luc winced, his eyebrows rising. Diverting his feet, he veered  
away from Beverly's room and sought Estelle. He found her easily  
enough; there was a group of her staff around her. His appearance  
caused an immediate cessation of all conversation, the officers  
stiffening to attention. Each nodding their respect, they greeted  
their Captain with a subdued "Sir." And moved away.  
She knew instantly who stood beside her.  
Estelle grinned.  
"Let me guessyou scared them away."  
He smiled and softened his voice.  
"I can't help it if they're scared. I can assure you I did  
nothing to warrant such a reaction."  
Estelle sighed and frowned.  
"I suppose you're going to tell me you have no idea?"  
"About what?"  
"Oh come on Captainyou know full well how you affect  
your crew. Half of them are scared witless, the other half suffer  
from hero worship."  
He shook his head and, after a studied inspection of his surroundings,  
took her hand.  
"You Commander have no respect whatsoever. How dare you accuse  
me of such things?"  
Her laugh warmed his heart.  
"And you Captain are really a teddy bearunderneath  
a very stoic exterior."  
"Oh Godnot teddy bearplease! How aboutintrepid  
explorer"  
His voice dropped even deeper.  
"Sophisticated lover."  
Her expression turned sultry.  
"Oh you're that all rightno doubt about it but I still  
hold to the notion of the teddy bear. You're very cuddly you know."  
He sighed with mock irritation and shook his head.  
"Enough! Tell me how do you feel?"  
Estelle grimaced and snorted.  
"Boredangryfrightenedtake your pick."  
He squeezed her hand and moved closer.  
"I'm sure it won't be for long Estelle. Doctor Selar has  
done nothing but study the drug and the virus. I've assigned Data  
to assist herhave faith in them."  
The gentle use of her name gave her more comfort than she dared  
admit. She took a large breath and whispered,  
"I don't suppose I could have a kiss?"  
His eyebrows rose but he quickly looked around and, satisfied  
they were unobserved; he leaned down and kissed her tenderly.  
Her happy sigh pleased him.  
"Thank you."  
"My pleasure. Estelle I want to ask you something, but it  
means you have to comment on a superior officer."  
The Commander pursed her lips  
"You want to know about Doctor Crusher."  
"Yes. I've received reports that her behaviour of late has  
beensomewhat atypical."  
Estelle smiled grimly.  
"You could say that. To use the vernacularand please  
forgive me for doing sobut she's been an absolute bitch.  
Unreasonable, arrogantdownright angryall the time.  
To be frank I think some of the staff are going to request a transfer  
if things don't improve."  
Jean-Luc rubbed his fingertips across his lower lip.  
"Do you know why? Why she is behaving like this?"  
"No Captain I don't."  
Expelling a forceful breath, Jean-Luc gently placed Estelle's  
hand back on the bed.  
"I see. Well thank you Commander, I will look into it. Before  
I go is there anything I can do for you?"  
"No Captain, thank you."  
He leaned down and brushed his lips over her brow.  
"Rest now Estelle. I'll see you later."  
She smiled and listened as he walked away.

 

 

 

 

 

As he entered Beverly's private room he was nearly  
bowled over by a retreating Ensign. The hapless lad looked up,  
his face registering horror as he realised who he had collided  
with.  
"Captain Picard! I'mII'm sorry Sir!"  
Pulling down on his tunic Jean-Luc's face was a mask of irritated  
forbearance.  
"Ensign. Would you mind telling me what was so important  
that you had to use such irresponsible haste?"  
"Sir! Doctor Crusher has ordered me to get the latest test  
results. She was veryinsistent Sir."  
His eyes glittering darkly, the Captain's scrutiny made the poor  
Ensign tremble.  
"Well you had better do it however I advise you to slow down  
Ensign. You help no one if you injure yourselfor anybody  
else."  
"Yes Sir!"  
Jean-Luc stood in the doorway watching with hidden amusement as  
the lad walked briskly away. Shaking his head he entered the room.  
"Selar is that you? It's about time! I"  
He stood next to the bed and brushed his fingers over her hand.  
"No Beverly it's me."  
She gasped then smiled.  
"Jean-Luc! How long have you been here?"  
Pulling a chair close to the bed, he sat and made himself comfortable.  
"Not longlong enough though to hear you voice yourdispleasure  
with your staff. Beverly is it really necessary to be soformidable?"  
The Doctor clenched her jaw and closed her unseeing eyes. Quietly  
she said,  
"Captain you're not trying to tell me how to run my department  
are you?"  
"Beverly"  
Her voice became hard.  
"Captain you run your ship your way, kindly allow me to run  
Sickbay as I see fit."  
He stood and glared down at his friend.  
"I see that I have come at a bad time. Perhaps we can talk  
later."  
"Yes I think that's a good idea."  
He stalked to the door but paused half turning. Softly he said,  
"I'll be back soon BeverlyI'm sure you'll be well again  
in the very near future."  
She said nothing and blinked in frustration as tears slid down  
her face.

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc found Selar in the lab. He waited  
while she finished the current analysis, the Vulcan showing no  
sign of emotion as he asked for her report.  
"We have made some progress Captain. The virus affected the  
muscle fibres in a very specific way. One of the symptoms of the  
disease was debilitating convulsions. We think the Deteron exacerbated  
the damage. It had prevented the fibres from returning to their  
original configuration, thus causing the paralysis. In effect  
the muscles have forgotten how to function."  
"I see. And the eyes?"  
Selar pressed some buttons bringing up a schematic on the screen.  
Directing his attention to the image, Selar illustrated her report.  
"It is the same problem Sir. The small muscles of the eyes  
cannot function in their present state. There have also been some  
changes to the vitreous humour. I believe we can remedy the situation,  
but it may take some days."  
Nodding, the Captain's face grew thoughtful.  
"Doctor obviously this is taking quite a toll on the patients,  
especially Doctor Crusher. I would ask you to show patience with  
her. She doesn't like being confined in any circumstance."  
"I understand Captain. I have been well trained in these  
matters, you need not concern yourself."  
He nodded and took another look at the screen.  
"Thank you Doctor."  
He contacted the Bridge and decided to retreat to his Ready Room  
while he awaited the arrival of the President. It was going to  
be a long day.

 

 

 

 

For the most part Estelle coped with her confinement  
well. She enjoyed the visits from her staff and friends, her frustration  
only surfacing towards the end of the day when she was tired.  
He natural sense of humour was tested however by her therapy.  
Now connected to an intravenous drip, the solution chosen to dissipate  
and nullify the Deteron was forcing the muscle fibres back into  
their original configuration. It was painful and disturbed her  
sleep. The only thing that kept her spirits from flagging was  
the progress made with her sight. Over two days, a combination  
of intensive regen treatments and the introduction of an organic  
gel gained her the ability to discern shapes. She looked forward  
to seeing again.  
Beverly was not so compliant. Still exhibiting the antisocial  
behaviour, she alienated the staff at a sickening rate. Late in  
the afternoon of the second day she was berating a hapless Ensign.  
"Do you have to mumble? Speak up damn you!"  
Nervously clearing her throat, Ensign Mavis Danders reddened and  
tried to quell her shaking.  
"She can't see me! Just relax and get it over with."  
The medical report was lengthy but she was already half way through  
it. She continued and was just beginning to think the worst was  
over when the icy voice of the Doctor lanced through the silence  
of the room.  
"What was that? Repeat the last paragraph."  
Dutifully, Mavis recited the words and paused, waiting to see  
if she should continue. With an irritated flick of her eyes, Beverly  
forced her on.  
As she neared the end of the report Selar quietly entered. Signalling  
to the Ensign to continue, the Vulcan waited patiently.  
At the completion Beverly snorted and barked,  
"Tell Doctor Selar I want to see her."  
Before the Ensign could speak, Selar stepped forward.  
"I am here Doctor."  
Beverly frowned and looked in the direction of the Ensign.  
"How old is that report?"  
"Approximately three hours."  
"And this' She indicated the drip in her arm with her  
eyes,  
"Is the best you can do?"  
The Vulcan raised one eyebrow and moved closer to the bed, silently  
dismissing the Ensign.  
"It is working Doctor. I expect you to begin to regain control  
of your muscles by tomorrow morning."  
"Do you now? And what about my sight?"  
"That too is improving Doctor, although I cannot be so sure  
as to when it will return. I am confident however it will be in  
the foreseeable future."  
Beverly snorted and closed her eyes.  
"In the foreseeable future. Dammit Selar you must be able  
to do better than that! Increase the regen therapymake the  
gel more potentdo something!"  
"Doctor Crusher your treatment is progressing at a reasonable  
rate. I will not alter anything at this time."  
Now incensed, Beverly began to shout.  
"Damn you Selar! I order you"  
With stoic calm, Selar stared down at her patient.  
"Doctor Crusher! I will remind you that you are a patient  
in this facility and I expect you to act accordingly. Your attitude  
to date has been detrimental, both to your recovery and to the  
staff. Please think about how you wish to interact with the staff  
and alter your behaviour appropriately."  
Beverly snapped her mouth shut and seethed. Striving for calm,  
she said through gritted teeth,  
"Very well, I will be a model patient. Thank you for yourinsight."  
Selar nodded once and left the room.  
The red head stared up at the ceiling, anger colouring her thoughts.  
"Damn themdamn them all!"  
Such was her anger she was unaware of another person entering  
her room. The soft voice made her flinch.  
"Beverly?"  
Deanna Troi moved to the bed and ran her fingers down Beverly's  
arm.  
"You're very upsetwould you like to talk to me about  
whatever's troubling you?"  
Taking a steadying breath, the Doctor blinked her eyes. With studied  
indifference she muttered,  
"No Deanna, I'm fine thank you."  
The Counsellor sighed and hitched her hip onto the bed.  
"You most certainly are not fine! Come on BeverlyI  
know you've been deeply disturbed about something for a while  
nowI've been sensing you from decks away. Pleaselet  
me help you."  
Beverly's voice was harsh.  
"For God's sake! All I want is to be left alone! Why can't  
people understand thatit's quite simple?!"  
Deanna took her hand and squeezed it.  
"Beverlyplease"  
The Doctor's words silenced her.  
"I would appreciate it if you'd leavenow!"  
With no other option, Deanna stood and looked pityingly at her  
friend.  
"All right I'll go, but this is unfinished. I'll come back  
laterwhen you're feeling better."  
Her footfalls fell away and Beverly silently seethed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next morning Estelle was dozing after being  
fed and washed. The gentle kiss to her brow stirred her and she  
smiled smelling the telltale aroma of Jean-Luc's aftershave.  
"Hello."  
The Captain smiled down at his sleepy lover and brushed a strand  
of hair from her face.  
"Hello yourself. What are you doing sleeping at this hour?"  
Estelle smiled and mewed as she prepared to surprise him.  
"Watch."  
With her face screwed up in concentration she slowly stretched  
her body. It caused discomfort but she didn't care, the sensation  
of being able to move filling her with joy.  
She saw his shape move closer and felt him take her hand.  
"That's wonderful Estelle! When did you discover you could  
do that?"  
"When I woke up this morning. I didn't think I just stretched.  
No one was more surprised than me to find my body obeyed me."  
His deep chuckle thrilled her.  
"Does everyone know?"  
"Oh yes. I had quite a crowd around me this morning. In fact  
I was able to help the nurse bathe me."  
He bent closer and muttered,  
"I would like to do that."  
She reddened and sighed.  
"And I would like you to, believe me. I can't wait to get  
out of here."  
She felt the mattress dip as he sat.  
"Well hopefully it will be soon. Selar is satisfied with  
your progress, I spoke with her before I came to you."  
"I know. Heyhow's Doctor Crusher? Has she reconsidered  
her attitude?"  
"Yes, apparently Selar had a talk with her and she's calmed  
down somewhat."  
"Good. So what have you been up to?"  
He sighed and rubbed his thumb over her hand.  
"Oh you knowthe usual stuff. We left Harakk II yesterday  
and are en route to the Rourke pulsar. Starfleet wants an in depth  
study done and frankly I'm glad. We could do with a bit of quiet  
scientific research."  
Estelle smiled and gently gripped his hand.  
"Hmm. Not much call for a microbiologist then?"  
He chuckled and shook his head.  
"No. I would think you'll be having some extended time off  
when you're released."  
"I suppose so, although I don't usually take kindly to enforced  
time offthat is unless someone helps me to cope with the  
boredom?"  
"Oh I think I can think of someone tohelp you."  
She laughed and pointed her toes.  
"You almost make me look forward to it!"  
"I should think so. Not everyone has the undivided attention  
of the Captain you know."  
Estelle's mind suddenly recalled his unbidden cry of Beverly's  
name and her mood soured.  
"Well Jean-Luc I'd better get my rest. See you later?"  
He frowned at her abrupt change but shrugged inwardly, putting  
it down to tiredness.  
"Yes, I'll come by this afternoon."  
He bent down and kissed her and she returned the kiss, but only  
perfunctorily.  
Casting her a final concerned glance, he left to see Beverly.

 

 

"Good morning Beverly how are you?"  
Sitting up for the first time, Beverly smiled at her visitor.  
"Hello Jean-Luclook at what I can do."  
He drew up a chair and seated himself.  
"Well aren't you clever. I take it you're regaining muscle  
control."  
"Un huh. I can see a bit too, some colours even."  
He reached forward and took her hand.  
"That's splendid Beverly. I've just seen Estelle and she's  
progressing well too."  
Her breath caught in her throat.  
"He went to her first."  
"That's good Jean-Luc. I've been getting reports about her,  
I'm glad this will all be over soon for both of us."  
He sighed and shook his head.  
"Yes it's been terrible hasn't it? Who would've thought you  
of all people would be stricken by the damn disease?"  
Anger spiralled up her insides.  
"Jesus Jean-Luc it's not as if I did it deliberately!"  
He was taken aback by her vehemence.  
"Of course not, I"  
"If you think for one minute that I"  
"No! Beverly for God's sake! No one would accuse you of such  
an outrageous thing."  
She snorted and slowly turned her head to one side. Seeing that  
she'd become uncommunicative, the Captain took his leave, his  
thoughts confused.

 

 

 

 

 

Alyssa paused outside Beverly's room, a PADD in  
her hand. For most of the day the Doctor had been quiet, ignoring  
the staff that tended to her. The silence she projected was tense,  
but it was better than the verbal attacks she'd employed earlier.  
The nurse looked down at her hand and hefted the PADD, weighing  
the possibility that her boss might be coming out of whatever  
had beset her. She'd known and worked with Beverly for many years  
and considered her a friend. Her recent behaviour had left a lot  
of people nonplussed. Clenching her jaw, she entered.  
"Doctor Crusher it's Alyssa. I have your ocular series. Would  
you like me to read it to you?"  
Beverly was in the process of lifting a tumbler of water to her  
lips. Her hand trembled as the muscles protested but she doggedly  
persisted, spilling water over the covers.  
"Oh here Doctorlet me help you."  
Alyssa moved quickly to Beverly's side and wrapped her hand over  
the Doctor's. Her concentration broken, her arm spasmed and the  
tumbler tilted sharply, the water sloshing over the brim.  
"For Christ's sake leave me alone will you! I don't need  
your help or anyone else's!"  
The embarrassed nurse tried to mop up the mess.  
"I'm sorry DoctorI"  
"Get out!"  
Alyssa wasted no time in placing the PADD on the bedside table  
before racing from the room. Once outside she breathed a sigh  
of relief and moved to the other side of Sickbay. Tapping her  
combadge she said quietly,  
"Lieutenant Ogawa to Commander Riker."  
"Riker here."  
"Commander I need to talk to you. Could I come by your quarters  
after this shift is over?"  
"Of course Alyssa. Are you sure you don't want to come up  
to the Bridge?"  
"No Commander, it can wait."  
"OK. Riker out."

 

 

 

 

 

Later that night Deanna Troi sat at her desk in  
her quarters deep in thought about Beverly Crusher. The glow of  
her computer terminal reflected off her face, but she ignored  
the machine, her eyes looking inward as she struggled with the  
problem. Some minutes passed before she raised her voice.  
"Computer, location of Captain Picard?"  
"Captain Picard is in his quarters."  
"Is he alone?"  
"Affirmative."  
Coming to a decision the Counsellor stood and left her room.

 

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc was going over the latest requisitions.  
The door annunciator was welcomed, saving him from a very tedious  
task.  
"Come."  
Deanna smiled as she saw her Captain at his desk, the PADDS strewn  
in an uncharacteristically messy state.  
"I hope I'm not disturbing you Captain?"  
He smiled and rose.  
"Not at all, as a matter of fact you've saved me from a fate  
worse than death."  
She chuckled and nodded to his silent offer of a drink.  
"Really Captainwhat could possibly be that bad?"  
He sighed as he stood at the replicator, not answering until they  
were both seated with their drinks.  
"Requisitions. It's my own faultI've been putting them  
off, I really should've done them this morning."  
She smiled warmly and cocked her head, making her dark curly hair  
form a curtain.  
"But you were otherwise engaged."  
"Uh huh. I went to Sickbayvisiting."  
They sat in silence for a while sipping their hot drinks.  
"It's about Beverly that I've come to see you Captain."  
He frowned and lowered his head.  
"She's becomedifficult again?"  
"Yes Sir. Captain you know Beverly better than anybody on  
this ship. Can you tell me why she's so upset?"  
He shook his head and frowned.  
"No, I've no idea."  
"Well I've done some checking and it seems that it started  
a day before she went down to Harakk. Can you think of anythinganything  
at all that might explain this?"  
He was about to repeat his denial when he abruptly reddened. Deanna  
sensed his rising embarrassment and said gently,  
"Captain this is very important. If her behaviour continues  
we will lose staff, let alone her friends will abandon her."  
He swallowed and closed his eyes, willing his discomfort to abate.  
"At about the time you mentionBeverly dropped by my  
quarters late one night to check up on me. I was, at the timeentertaining  
a female acquaintance."  
Deanna frowned not quite understanding.  
"I see. How is that significant?"  
Taking a calming breath, the Captain pressed on.  
"Actually we were interrupted. At the time we werethat  
is Iwe"  
Suddenly Deanna's penny dropped. Flushing, she gasped softly.  
"Oh! Oh I see. How did Beverly react?"  
Sighing, Jean-Luc shook his head.  
"She was very embarrassedwe both were. Once she realisedshe  
left immediately. But Deanna we've talked about this! She said  
she was happy for me. Why would it upset her now?"  
Deanna sat in silence pondering his words. The realisation dawned  
on her and she frowned.  
"Captain are you aware of Beverly's feelings towards you?"  
"Wellwe're friendsbest friendsI don't know  
what else to say."  
"I think Captain, that her feelings may run much deeper that  
you realise."  
Jean-Luc's bewildered look roused Deanna's curiosity.  
"Captain?"  
"Butbut I offered her more and she turned me down.  
If she feels like that why..?"  
Deanna sighed and gently gripped his arm.  
"Probably fear Captain. She is a very complex personyou  
both are. Maybe she just wasn't ready."  
He shook his head and stood abruptly, pacing about the room.  
"But if she has reacted with such vehemencewhat are  
we looking atjealousy?"  
The Counsellor considered this and agreed.  
"I think it's a distinct possibility. Captain if she were  
unaware of how deeply she feels about you she may also be unaware  
of why she's been behaving as she has."  
He stopped his pacing, a look of incredulity on his face.  
"Counsellorsurely she must realise her attitude is  
unacceptable? She must, at some level, recognise that something  
is very wrong."  
"Oh I think she does Captain but she's too deeply immersed  
in the emotion to see clearly. That coupled with the illnesswell  
let's just say she's snowed under."  
Jean-Luc sat again and picked up his cooled tea. Sipping it he  
grimaced with distaste and put it down.  
"All right I can accept that. The thing is what can we do  
about it?"  
"You Captain can do nothing. Right now I don't think she's  
very kindly disposed towards you or yourfriend. It would  
probably be best if you left this to me."  
Jean-Luc frowned deeply and shook his head.  
"Deanna she's my dearest friend. Surely I can"  
"No Captain. Pleaseleave this to me."  
They sat staring into each other's eyes. Ultimately Jean-Luc saw  
the sense of her words.  
"Very well Deanna I will trust in your judgement. When will  
you approach her?"  
The Counsellor sighed and clasped her hands in her lap.  
"I think it best I wait until she's been discharged from  
Sickbay. Perhaps a day or two on her own may be beneficial."  
Jean-Luc's face grew thoughtful.  
"Perhaps."

 

Will was playing his trombone to the accompaniment  
of the computer. On hearing the door chime he lay the instrument  
down, paused the computer and answered the chime.  
"Yes?"  
Alyssa, hands clasped behind her back leaned in and smiled.  
"Good evening Commander. May I come in?"  
"Of course Alyssaplease."  
Picking up a shirt from the back of a chair he gestured his guest  
to have a seat.  
"I won't keep you Commander. I just need to talk to you about  
a problem in Sickbay."  
"Have you spoken to Doctor Selar about it?"  
"No Sirit's a little morepersonal."  
Will frowned and sat forward.  
"OK what is it?"  
"Are you aware of Doctor Crusher's behaviour of late?"  
The big man stroked his beard and studied the smaller woman.  
"Well I visited hershe seemed a littlecold."  
Alyssa sighed.  
"Commander she's been an absolute harridan! No one has been  
spared her tongue lashings or her spite."  
"Spite? Beverly?"  
"Uh huh and there's more. If something's not done soon she's  
going to lose key staff. There's a groundswell of discontent and  
it's growing fast."  
Will nodded thoughtfully and stood.  
"Right I'll look into it. Thank you for coming Alyssa, I  
know you can keep this between us?"  
"Yes Sir."  
The nurse left and Will waited only minutes before leaving his  
quarters.  
He strode directly to Deanna's cabin, meeting her outside her  
door.  
"Just the person I wanted to see. Can I come in?"  
Smiling, Deanna nodded and soon they were seated on the sofa.  
"Dee something's very wrong with Beverly."  
"I know."  
He lifted his head, and snorted.  
"Of course you know. But do you know how bad it's gotten?"  
"Uh huh. I've just come from the Captain."  
"He knows too?"  
"Yes Will."  
Will stood and towered over the petite Counsellor.  
"Well what is it? What's bugging her so badly that she's  
ostracised half her staff?"  
Deanna frowned and patted the seat beside her, remaining silent  
until he was once again seated.  
"I can't go into details, but I can tell you she's overcome  
with jealousy."  
"Jealousy? That's it?"  
"Well it's a bit more complicated than that, but yes, essentially  
that's it."  
"Can you help?"  
"I hope soif she'll let me."  
Will took her hands and smiled winningly at her, his blue eyes  
twinkling.  
"Well if anybody can do ityou can!"  
The Counsellor grinned and touched her forehead to his.  
"Time will tell."

 

 

 

 

Three days later the women were discharged.  
Sight fully restored and their muscles once again functioning  
normally, the prescription was for seven days off duty with regular  
check ups.  
Estelle had just showered when she heard the door chime. Wrapping  
a robe around her lissom form she called,  
"Come in."  
Jean-Luc entered, his hands behind his back, a gentle grin upon  
his face. He stepped up to his lover and kissed her softly.  
"Soyou're home."  
"Uh huh. Jean-Luc..?"  
"Mmm?"  
"What have you got behind your back?"  
"What? Ohyou mean this?"  
With a flourish he produced a sheaf of long stemmed yellow roses.  
"Oh Jean-Lucthey're beautiful! Thank you."  
Holding the roses in one hand, he wrapped his arms around her  
and kissed her tenderly. She surprised him by deepening the kiss  
and moulding her body against him.  
He tapered the kiss and pulled back, looking deeply into her eyes.  
"Now nowyou've only just been discharged."  
"So what? I've been deemed fit and well and I want youright  
now."  
As she spoke she undid her robe and pulled it open displaying  
her naked body. Jean-Luc's eyes darkened and he breathed deeply,  
infusing his senses with her scent. He softly trailed one finger  
around her nipple, his voice dropping to a husky whisper as he  
tossed the roses onto the table.  
"Are you sure?"  
In reply she took his hand and led him to her bedroom. Lowering  
the lights she quickly divested him of his clothing and together  
they lay on the bed. She began to attack his body with her mouth  
and hands, groaning with frustration when he grabbed her hands  
and stilled her.  
"No EstelleI want to be gentle."  
Knowing he wouldn't be swayed she settled back on the bed and  
sighed deeply.  
"All right Jean-Lucpleasure me."  
He leaned in and kissed her languidly while his hands roamed over  
her body. His fingers kneaded her breasts, gently tweaking the  
nipples and drawing them out. Once they were hard, he left her  
mouth and slowly kissed his way to the puckered nubs, taking first  
one, then the other into his mouth. Estelle squirmed, arching  
her back and groaning his name. She rolled half way and slipped  
her leg over his hip. He responded by gliding his hand down and  
sliding his fingers inside her. He matched the rhythm of his sucking  
mouth, his fingers stroking in and out of her.  
Estelle's body reacted immediately. Her hands went around him,  
gripping his chest and buttocks and she pumped against him. He  
waited until he felt her begin to clench internally then suddenly  
bit her nipple as his thumb broadly stroked her clitoris.  
With a cry she arched against him and shuddered, her orgasm consuming  
her. While the contractions continued, he gently rolled her onto  
her back, covered her with his body and gently penetrated her.  
She gasped and flexed beneath him, her nails digging into his  
shoulders. Clenching his buttocks he pushed deeply into her then  
slowly withdrew, repeating the motion again and again. Pulling  
almost all the way out, he slowly slid back, his face a mask of  
fierce concentration. Beneath him Estelle flexed and arched, mindless  
with sensation. Her whole body had become erogenous, every nerve  
ending sending electric pulses to he swollen clitoris. Pulsating  
with wave after wave of stimulation she felt the onrush of another  
climax and cried out her need for him to hurry.  
"Oh God! PleaseGod pleaseJean-Lucplease"  
He closed his eyes and reached down to slide his hands under her  
buttocks lifting her to his thrusts. Suddenly pistoning his hips  
he pushed in and out of her rapidly, losing himself to his ecstasy  
as she reached hers. His body stiffened and he buried his face  
in her shoulder, his exhalation carrying a whispered word.  
"Beverly"

 

 

 

 

 

The tears were a surprise. Estelle had long ago determined  
never to give any man so much of herself that he could elicit  
such emotion. She held him as he regained his breath and, when  
he rolled off her, she lay staring at the ceiling while his hand  
sought hers. An unbidden sniff caught his attention. Rising up  
on his elbow he traced her tears with his fingers.  
"Estelle? What is itdid I hurt you?"  
Brushing his hand away with an irritated gesture, she turned over,  
her back to him. His hand on her shoulder made her shrug, attempting  
to dislodge it. Not to be put off, Jean-Luc gripped her shoulder  
and pulled her over.  
"What is it?"  
With her tawny eyes flashing, she snapped,  
"Jean-Luc when we're having sexwho's in the bed with  
you? Just who are you having sex with?"  
He scowled and glared at her.  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? What sort of a question  
is that?"  
Estelle sat up and rested her head on her bent knees.  
"Look I know our relationship is only physical, but I thought  
we cared enough to at least be honest with each other."  
"What are you talking about Estelle? I don't understand."  
"Don't you Jean-Luc?"  
He also sat up and gripped her arm, his eyes glittering dangerously.  
"No damn it I don't."  
Estelle sighed and turned to look at him.  
"The last two times we've had sexyou called out another  
woman's name when you came."  
His body stiffened, his face registering shock and disbelief.  
"What!? No! That's not possibleI could neverI  
would never do that to my partnerI"  
Sadness crept over her face, the tears returning. Slowly nodding  
she sighed.  
"Well you did. Do you want to know who's name you said?"  
He brusquely left the bed and began to dress. Rising to her knees  
Estelle's voice was soft.  
"You can't run from this Jean-Luc. You know damn well who  
it is."  
He stopped and straightened, his pants unfastened. He knew he  
owed her nothing less than the truth. Nodding he sat slowly on  
the bed.  
"Tell me."  
His whisper was only just audible.  
"Beverly."  
Estelle sighed and ran her hands over his tense shoulders. Resting  
her head on his back, she sighed again and they sat in sad silence.  
Suddenly Estelle's breath caught.  
"My Godall those times when you looked at me oddlyyou  
were seeing herin me, weren't you!?"  
He half turned and reached for her hand.  
"Estelle I"  
"Admit it damn you!"  
He nodded and lowered his head.  
"You can't go on like this Jean-Lucit's consuming you."  
His voice still a whisper, tears threatened.  
"There's nothing I can do. She doesn't want that sort of  
a relationship with me."  
"How do you know?"  
"I offered it and she turned me down."  
Returning her head on his shoulder, she wound her arms around  
his chest.  
"How long ago?"  
"Monthssix months at least."  
"She's a fool."  
He sighed and took her hands in his, raising them to his mouth  
and kissing them.  
"That may be so, but there's nothing I can do about it. I  
won't risk our friendship by pursuing something she doesn't want."  
They were silent for a while before Estelle said,  
"It was her that night in your quarters wasn't itthe  
night we were interrupted?"  
He nodded, letting the silence speak for him. Her groan raising  
his eyebrows.  
"What?"  
"Shit Jean-Lucall thisbullshit she's been coming  
out withit's all about us!"  
The protracted silence roused her curiosity.  
"Jean-Luc?"  
" I know. Counsellor Troi came to see meshe came to  
the same conclusion."  
"Oh bugger!"  
"Precisely."  
Estelle withdrew her hands and turned him to face her.  
"But if she's displaying so much"  
Jean-Luc took her hands and looked earnestly into her eyes.  
"Estelle I don't really want to talk about it. I'm profoundly  
sorry for mylapses and I apologise wholeheartedly for the  
hurt I must have caused. Perhaps for now we should"  
A lopsided smile appeared on Estelle's face.  
"HeyI care about you Jean-Lucprobably too much,  
but I don't want to be the third wheel in any relationship. Sort  
this out Jean-Luc and soonbefore it devours you."  
He nodded and, with tears in his eyes, kissed her softly.

 

 

 

 

 

Twenty-four hours had passed and Deanna was standing  
outside Beverly's quarters trying to calm her racing heart. This  
was a very delicate undertaking, one fraught with danger. If Beverly  
decided to reject her, she would only have two options. Withdraw  
or take her on. Shaking her head, she pressed the chime.  
"Hello Deanna."  
The small Counsellor looked up at her friend, trying to see past  
the carefully constructed façade of indifference.  
"Hello Beverly. How are you?"  
Putting one hand on the doorjamb and effectively barring her,  
the Doctor scowled.  
"Bored witless."  
"Oh come onI bet there a heap of reports just calling  
out to be completed. How about I"  
Beverly shrugged and looked at her feet.  
"I'm not really in the mood for visitors Deannaso if  
you'll just"  
"No I don't think so. You need someone to talk to."  
Her eyes sharp Beverly glared at the Counsellor.  
"I'll be the judge of what I need! Now if there's nothing  
else?"  
With swiftness that caught the Doctor unawares, Deanna ducked  
under her arm and entered her quarters. Beverly swung around,  
her voice rising in anger.  
"Dammit Troi!"  
Deanna turned to face the livid woman and adopted a calm outward  
appearance. Inwardly she scrambled her mental defences against  
the barrage of negative emotions emanating from her friend.  
"I'm not leaving until you talk to me."  
"Well you'd better make yourself comfortable because I've  
got nothing to say!"  
"Haven't you? I've been to see the Captainhe had some  
interesting things to say."  
Her hands fisted on her hips, eyes blazing, Beverly tossed her  
head.  
"Did he now? Well I don't give a flying fuck what he has  
to say! I want you to get out!"  
"Think about it Beverly. You know your behaviour has alienated  
your staff and caused trouble in Sickbayit's even been reported  
to Will. When do you think it started?"  
The red head turned and paced around her cabin, her hands cutting  
the air in curt gestures.  
"LookI've been under a lot of stress lately! It was  
a bastard of a missionit's no wonder I've been a little  
tense. Besides you might have helped if you'd only come and seen  
me! I was paralysed and blind for God's sake! Where youfriend?"  
In a quiet voice Deanna said,  
"I came."  
"Oh yesonce!"  
Deanna seated herself and crossed her feet at the ankles. Taking  
the time to centre herself, she said quietly,  
"I came Beverlytwicebut your anger was so potent  
I couldn't bear to be close to you. And I was up to my ears counselling  
the away team after their experiences on the planet. After what  
they'd witnessedwell you can imagine their distress."  
Beverly flicked her hand and stalked to the viewport, dismissing  
the explanation.  
Deanna watched her and muttered,  
"You know what's at the bottom of all this."  
Beverly spun around and yelled,  
"Get out!"  
The Counsellor allowed some moments to pass before standing and  
making her way to the replicator. She felt Beverly's eyes on her  
as she ordered two camomile teas and ignored the incensed woman  
as she returned to her seat.  
"Captain Picard told me about yourinterruptionto  
his activities. How did you feel about that?"  
The cruel smile was out of place on her friend's face.  
"Oh grow up Deanna! So he was fucking some slutgood  
on him! We all should be so lucky!"  
"Some slut? Beverly listen to yourself! Since when do you  
refer to anyone as a slut?"  
Her silence grieved the Counsellor. Clasping her hands in her  
lap Deanna risked an observation.  
"You realise of course, that your atypical behaviour started  
the next day? That it has been directed in its most hurtful form  
at Estelle Maguirethe Captain's lover?"  
Her actions stiff with indignation Beverly swept a cup into her  
hand and threw it forcefully across the room. It shattered against  
the wall, splattering tea and china everywhere.  
Deanna waited a few breaths before saying quietly,  
"Feel Better?"  
Beverly fisted her hands and slammed them down on the low table.  
"Will you shut up!"  
The Counsellor sighed and stood slowly.  
"No Beverly I won't. You need to hear this from someone and  
it might as well be me. Beverly you're jealous. For whatever reason,  
whether it be because you feel more deeply for the Captain that  
you realise or simply because he's found something you haven'tyou  
need to come to terms with itand you have to talk to him."  
While Beverly glared at her, Deanna turned and walked slowly to  
the door. Just shy of the sensor she turned.  
"And hear me Beverly. Until you do something about thisuntil  
you return to your normal selfyou will remain off duty."  
Beverly's voice rose to a screech.  
"What! You can't do this to me!"  
With calmness she didn't feel, Deanna said softly,  
"Yes I canand I will. Use your time off wisely Beverlyyou  
have a lot of thinking to do."  
The doors opened and Deanna stepped through. As they closed behind  
her she heard the other cup smash against them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Captain was studying the latest reports from  
Astrophysics when the Ready Room chime sounded.  
"Come."  
Deanna walked in and he immediately noticed how drawn she looked.  
"Counsellor?"  
She took a seat in front of his desk and nodded to his silent  
offer of a beverage. Silence reigned as he took the drinks from  
the replicator and set them on the desk. Deanna smiled when she  
smelled the hot chocolate, the gesture giving the Captain some  
encouragement.  
"Well Deanna, what can I do for you?"  
She picked up her drink and blew on its surface before sipping  
tentatively.  
"I've just been to see Beverly."  
Jean-Luc frowned and put his cup down.  
"Oh. How did it go? Was sheamenable?"  
"Not really, but I didn't expect her to be."  
The Captain regarded his Counsellor, trying to see beyond what  
her words were saying.  
"Did you give her your opinion as to why she's been behaving  
the way she has?"  
"Yes."  
"And?"  
Deanna sighed and grinned ruefully.  
"Some crockery got broken."  
Jean-Luc's eyebrows shot up.  
"That bad? She threw things?"  
"Uh huh."  
"That's not a good sign Counsellor. I've known Beverly a  
very long time and I can count only a few instances where she's  
been angry enough to throw things."  
Deanna nodded and frowned.  
"I know Captain, but there's more. I also told her that until  
she gets over this she would be off duty."  
Jean-Luc shook his head, his face concerned.  
"Oh I don't think that's a good idea Deanna. She won't take  
that at all well."  
Deanna sighed shaking her head.  
"Nevertheless Captain my order stands. She has to come to  
terms with this, no matter how long it takes."  
Jean-Luc picked up his tea and sipped thoughtfully.  
"Should I visit her?"  
The Counsellor shook her head emphatically.  
"No Captain. I did tell her that she should talk to you,  
but she will have to decide when. Until she reaches that point  
I think it best that you leave her alone."  
Deanna could plainly see the pain this caused and strove to comfort  
him.  
"Captain despite her recent behaviourand her rather  
confused feelings towards you at the moment, I believe your friendship  
will survive thisit may even evolve into something more,  
time will tell. All we can do now is wait and trust that she will  
see through the confusion and come to terms with her feelings."  
Jean-Luc's voice was deep and gentle.  
"Counsellor she is intelligent, compassionate and brilliant.  
I have every confidence in her."  
Hearing the dismissal, Deanna rose and returned her cup to the  
recycler.  
"Well Captain, as I saidtime will tell."  
He nodded and she left. Jean-Luc sat deep in thought for over  
an hour before he dragged his mind back to his work.

 

 

 

 

For some hour and a half after Deanna left Beverly  
raged around her quarters, She upended the sofa, overturned the  
low table and swept the books from the shelf. More items were  
thrown about and when the storm finally passed she sat heavily  
on the floor and burst into tears. Hot liquid scalded her cheeks  
as it flowed unheeded down her face. Her hands tangled in her  
hair as she sobbed, her heart feeling as if it was about to break.  
Eventually that too stopped and she lay on her side on the floor  
hiccupping and staring unseeing through the door of her bedroom.  
She sighed softly and rolled onto her back.  
"Fuck themI don't need themany of them. They  
can all go to hell!"  
She dragged herself to her feet and stumbled into the bedroom,  
falling headlong onto the bed. She grabbed a pillow and hugged  
it to her breast, sniffing back more tears.  
"Jealous? I'm not bloody jealous! What the hell do I have  
to be jealous about? So he has a loverso what? It means  
absolutely nothing to me. Anyway I don't carehe can go fuck  
himself stupidgood luck to him! In any case even if I cared  
I wouldn't be jealousI'd befurious!"  
She rolled over and stared at the ceiling. Snorting, she squeezed  
the pillow.  
"No that's not right! Why would I be furious? Bloody hell  
I don't care! StillEstelle Maguire? He could've done better  
than thatmuch better. She's definitely not his typehe'll  
regret his decision to get into a relationship with her. She'll  
dump him and I'll have to pick up the piecesas usual! Fuck!  
Menthey're all the same. Led by their dicks!"  
She turned over again and huffed.  
"And as for bloody Deannahow dare she? Relieve me of  
duty? We'll see about that! Since when did she become so wrapped  
up in her own self-importance? And going to Jean-Luc! Who the  
hell does she think she is? I bet they had quite a cosy chatprobably  
had a good laugh at my expense! Well fuck them! I won't play their  
games! We'll see who's bloody jealous."  
She lay in the silence of her room and stewed for hours, ultimately  
falling asleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next morning, after tidying up the  
devastation from the previous day, Beverly sat under the viewport,  
her feet on the ledge, sipping a hot cup of coffee. Since waking  
up she'd felt calmer, as if the storm had washed away the anger  
and pain. It was a much more contemplative person who pondered  
her psyche.  
She cast her eyes about her quarters and grimaced.  
"Bloody hell! I haven't carried on like that in quite a while.  
Stillit seems to have done some good. So! Jealous am I?  
OK, let's look at that shall we? To be jealous of Jean-Luc's relationship  
with another womanI would have to have some pretty deep  
feelings for him. Do I? I love himhave done for years, but  
do I want him? Is the thought of another woman getting what I  
perhaps want driving me to behave like a monster?"  
She though about that for a while and scowled at her answer.  
"Well something set me off! But jealousy? I was happy for  
him wasn't I? Wasn't I secretly relieved that I was off the hookthat  
he wouldn't wait for me anymore? Could that be it? Do I subconsciously  
want him to waitto wantto yearn for me while I treat  
him like a faithful dog? Always thereloyal, steadfastcelibate?"  
She frowned and lifted her feet off the ledge and put her empty  
cup down. Standing, she looked out at the stars, the pulsar strobing  
out in the void. She hugged herself and felt tears threaten.  
"Oh God Jean-Luc I've treated you like my own slave. Expecting  
you to always be there for me, to wait patiently while I played  
my little games. Deanna was rightI am bloody jealous! I'm  
jealous of your faithfulness, your selflessness and your fidelityand  
the minute you try to find something with someone else I condemn  
you! God what an absolute bitch I've been!"  
She reached out with tentative fingers and touched the cold glass.  
Tears rolled down her cheeks and she sighed.  
"I love you Jean-LucI love you and I want you! I'm  
not afraid anymore."

 

 

 

 

 

Around lunchtime the next day Estelle left  
her quarters and strode purposefully to Beverly's. Already primed,  
she didn't hesitate at the door, but pushed the annunciator firmly.  
The Doctor was very surprised at the identity of her caller.  
"Estelle! II didn't expect you."  
"I wouldn't think so. May I come in? We need to talk."  
Seeing the determination on the smaller woman's face, Beverly  
stepped back and allowed her to enter.  
"Would you like something to eat? I was just about to have  
lunch."  
With a wry smile, Estelle looked sideways at the Doctor, trying  
to gauge her demeanour.  
"All right. Two ham and cheese sandwiches and a cup of Earl  
Greyhot."  
Beverly's eyebrows rose.  
"Earl Grey? Don't tell me he's got you hooked?"  
Feeling nothing but calmness coming from the Doctor, Estelle gave  
her a grin.  
"Probably. It does sort of grow on you."  
Chuckling, Beverly gestured to the sofa and put the tray down.  
The women ate quietly for a while before Beverly cleared her throat.  
"EstelleI owe you an apology. A rather big one."  
Facing the red head, Estelle kept her face carefully blank.  
"Yes I think you do."  
Beverly wiped her mouth with the serviette and sighed.  
"It has been recently pointed out to me that myunpleasant  
behaviour was the result of jealousyjealousy over your relationship  
with Jean-Luc. I didn't realise it of course, but upon reflectionand  
a lot of soul searchingI have reached the inescapable conclusion  
that the diagnosis was correct. In my anger I treated a lot of  
people very badlyfriends and colleaguesand especially  
you. I treated you appallingly and I'm very sorry."  
Estelle frowned and shook her head.  
"Two apologies in two days. Must be some sort of record."  
"Pardon?"  
Estelle smiled.  
"Jean-Luc apologised to me too."  
Confused and a little curious, Beverly asked,  
"What for?"  
Looking straight into her eyes, Estelle kept her voice matter  
of fact.  
"For calling out your name when he came."  
Beverly gasped and blushed.  
"He didn't!"  
"Yes he didtwice."  
"Oh Godwhat did you do?"  
Picking up her tea, she drained it and took her time setting the  
cup back down.  
"The first timenothing, although I was pretty pissed  
off. The second time I took him to task. He wasn't very happy  
about it."  
Beverly sat back and frowned.  
"I bet he wasn't! He prides himself on being altruistic.  
It would be unconscionable to him. To do that to a woman he loves"  
Estelle held up her hand and shook her head.  
"He doesn't love me."  
"What? I don't believe it! He would never enter into a relationship  
with someone he didn't care for."  
The smaller woman cocked her head.  
"I didn't say he doesn't care. God we both know him better  
than that! We came to an understanding. We enjoy each other's  
company, we have good timesand great sex and that's it.  
No romantic entanglement for either of us."  
Beverly was shocked.  
"But"  
"Look Doctor Crusher I came here today to tell you he loves  
you. He's so in love with you he sees you everywhere! He even  
saw you in me while we were making love. What does that tell you?"  
The Doctor shook her head, speechless.  
"I don't know exactly how you feel about him, but I've got  
a pretty good idea based on how you reacted to us. If you don't  
love himand I doubt that's true, then find some way to set  
him free, because this situation is consuming him. If you love  
him as I think you do, then for God's sake do something about  
it! Go to himtalk to himtake away his pain. I don't  
know you very well, but I think I know Jean-Luche deserves  
to be happy, doesn't he?"  
Estelle stood and looked down at the shaken woman.  
"We've ended our relationship DoctorI won't be used  
in that way and he refuses to hurt me any further. He's all yourswith  
my blessing."  
It was the doors whispering shut that broke into Beverly's mind.  
She turned her head and looked blankly at them, lost in thought.

 

 

 

 

 

Deanna sighed and reapplied herself to concentrate  
on her patient.  
"Data just because the Ensign laughed behind your back doesn't  
mean it was directed at you."  
The android cocked his head and frowned.  
"But does not the saying imply derision? To laugh, or make  
comments behind one's backit is invariably derogatory is  
it not?"  
Deanna's eyes closed and she lowered her head.  
"If the intention is malicious then yes it's derogatory,  
but simply being physically behind you doesn't constitute intent.  
The Ensign may have been reacting to any one of many situations.  
Perhaps someone just told him a joke? Or maybe he saw something  
that amused him? You cannot apply an adage like that so literally."  
Data sat in thought for precisely two minutes.  
"So what you are saying is, I cannot be held responsible  
for the actions of those around me if their behaviour has nothing  
to do with me."  
Deanna sighed again and looked compassionately at her friend.  
"Data don't you think it's unfair to expect to be responsible  
all the time? And anyhowisn't it a little paranoid to think  
that all of the behaviour of those around you is somehow linked  
to you?"  
Data's eyes lit up and his face became animated.  
"Paranoid Counsellor? Is that possible? How would it manifest"  
"Crusher to Troi."  
Holding up her hand to stifle the voluble android, Deanna answered  
the hail.  
"Troi here."  
"Deanna would you have dinner with me in my quarters tonightplease?"  
Quelling a satisfied smile, Deanna replied,  
"Yes Beverly that would be fine. What time?"  
"Oh saytwenty thirty hours?"  
"I'll see you then. Troi out."  
As she was about to re-enter her discussion with Data, he said,  
"How is Doctor Crusher? Is sherecovered?"  
Deanna marvelled at his ability to ask such a deliberately loaded  
question, whilst outwardly appearing so innocent. Keeping her  
professional mask in place, Deanna replied,  
"She's fine Data. Now, as to you assumptions about paranoiaI  
don't think"  
"Picard to Troi."  
Sighing, Deanna responded.  
"Troi here Captain."  
"Could you come up to the Bridge Counsellor?"  
"Yes Captain I'll be there shortly."  
"Very good. Picard out."  
Turning to Data, she frowned.  
"I would like to follow up on this Data, but next time book  
an appointment instead of just dropping in. That way we won't  
be interrupted."  
He nodded and they both stood. As they were leaving he said,  
"Please extend my best wishes to Doctor Crusher."  
Deanna nodded and they parted company.

 

 

 

 

 

Deanna stepped out of the turbolift and onto the  
Bridge. She paused as she entered, struck yet again at how different  
this Enterprise was from her predecessor. With darker lighting  
and a more functional appearance, this ship was built for war.  
That she could still be used for exploration soothed the qualms  
she always felt. That and the fact that she was commanded by a  
man dedicated to peace, a man who by his own extensive experiences  
had guided them through many perilous situations gave her hope  
that their existence in space would always strive to be benign.  
Will watched her as she walked towards the Command chair, obviously  
ignorant of the absence of the Captain. Her eyes wandered up from  
their contemplation of the floor to meet his. He grinned widely  
at catching her at a weak moment and pointed to the Ready Room  
door.  
"He's in there."  
Reddening slightly, Deanna straightened her spine and gathered  
her wayward thoughts. With Will's eyes on her back, she stood  
at the doors and pressed the annunciator.  
"Come."  
She was mildly surprised to find the Captain seated on the sofa,  
one leg bent beneath him, the other resting along the cushions,  
a book in his hands, a cup of tea at his elbow.  
"Come in Counsellor. Would you like something to drink?"  
She smiled as he made room on the seat and sat beside him.  
"No thank you Captain."  
He nodded and closed the book, resting it on his lap. Facing her,  
his eyes softened.  
"How is Beverly?"  
Deanna easily felt his concern and his love for the Doctor and  
was somewhat shocked that he wasn't trying to suppress it.  
"Well CaptainI haven't seen her since ourconfrontation.  
I can tell you however, she called me only a little while ago  
and requested I have dinner with her tonight in her quarters."  
"I see. How did she sound?"  
"Calmalmost friendly."  
Jean-Luc bowed his head and took a deep breath, obviously ordering  
his thoughts.  
"Have you been monitoring her emotions these last few days?"  
"Yes Captain."  
"And?"  
Deanna straightened her legs, crossed her ankles and slid her  
hands between her thighs.  
"She has been through a difficult time Captain. At first  
there was unbridled anger and vehement denial. Later there was  
introspection and self-analysis and lastly there was acceptance.  
For the last twenty-four hours she's been calm and stable. I can  
only view her invitation with optimism."  
He nodded slowly and rubbed his face, making the Counsellor worry  
about him.  
"Captainhow have you been?"  
His head snapped up, his eyes hardening. About to remonstrate  
with her, he caught his anger and reconsidered. Of all the people  
on his ship Deanna was one of only two who could see right through  
his defences. The other was Beverly. Sighing, he shook his head.  
"To be honestI've been better. I miss her Deanna."  
"What does Estelle think of the situation?"  
Smiling ruefully he sat back and rested his head on the cushions.  
"It's over. It became evident that I couldn't get Beverly  
out of my mindeven at some moreintimate times. She  
didn't want to be the third person in a relationship and I refused  
to hurt her any further."  
"I'm sorry Captain."  
He shrugged and sighed.  
"At least there's no broken hearts involved. I will miss  
her though."  
Deanna's hand gently sought his and they sat together, silently  
commiserating. It was Jean-Luc who broke the spell.  
"Well CounsellorI suppose I should do some work."  
Smiling indulgently and not hiding her admiration or affection  
for him, Deanna stood and straightened her uniform.  
"Have patience Captain. I have a feeling all will be well."  
He stood and locked eyes with his trusted friend.  
"I hope so Deannawith all my heart."

 

 

 

 

 

Beverly had programmed the replicator and was sitting  
watching the stars when the chime sounded. Instead of calling  
the visitor to enter, she rose and sauntered to the doors, nervously  
pulling on her jumper. When the doors whispered open she was relieved  
to find her friend smiling, her hands behind her back.  
"Hello Deanna, come on in."  
The petite Counsellor entered and followed Beverly to the sofa.  
Once seated she surprised the Doctor by presenting her with a  
gift.  
"What's this?"  
"Oh just a little something I thought you might like. Consider  
it a peace offering."  
Quirking a guilty grin at her friend, Beverly carefully tore the  
tissue paper and exposed an exquisite glass orchid. Stunningly  
coloured, it was both delicate and beautiful.  
"Deannait's gorgeous! I grow this onewhere did  
you get it?"  
With a satisfied grin, Deanna enlightened the red head.  
"I know you do. I saw it at the last Star Base we visitedthere  
was a curio shop and it was in the window. I recognised it and  
thought it would be nice for your birthday."  
"My birthdaybut"  
"Like I saidit's now a peace offering."  
Beverly sighed and placed it gently on the low table. With a visible  
effort she settled herself and looked frankly at her friend.  
"I wish there was no need for one."  
Deanna shrugged and crossed her legs.  
"Water under the bridge Beverly. As far as I'm concerned  
it's over. How about you? You're obviously feeling better."  
Beverly reddened slightly and lowered her head.  
"Actually I feel like a class A fool. How could I have been  
so stupidnot to mention thick?"  
The Counsellor chuckled.  
"Believe me it's pretty easy. If I had a strip of latinum  
for every person I've counselled that's suffered from this sort  
of thing I'd be rich. I take it you came to the same conclusion  
as me?"  
Her head tilted, the Doctor kept her eyes fastened on the orchid.  
"Uh huh."  
"You love him?"  
Nodding slowly, Beverly sighed.  
"Yesfar more than I'd ever realised."  
Leaning forward slightly, Deanna softly touched Beverly's thigh.  
"What are you going to do about it?"  
Melancholy seeped into her voice.  
"I don't know!"  
There was silence until Deanna spoke again.  
"He deserves to know."  
Slowly raising her hands Beverly tucked her hair behind her ears.  
"Does he?"  
"Beverlyhe's loved you for such a long time. His enduring  
love for you has ended his current relationship you know."  
The Doctor nodded.  
"I knowEstelle came to see me."  
Her eyebrows rose as Deanna's empathic senses detected the spike  
of guilt.  
"Really? And how did that go?"  
Beverly sniffed and looked out at the stars.  
"I apologised and she told me some things about Jean-Luc  
I foundunsettling."  
"Like what?"  
Beverly turned to face her friend, a speculative look in her eyes.  
"Likethey weren't in love, that it was a physical relationship  
only."  
"And that shocked you?"  
"Yes! Look I know he treated relationships carelessly as  
a much younger man, but in all the time I've known him he's only  
ever had relationships with women he was in love with."  
Deanna laughed, her eyes twinkling.  
"What?"  
"You've forgotten about Vash."  
Beverly scowled and flipped her hand.  
"An anomaly. He had an adventure that just happened to include  
a sensuous, willing and unprincipled woman who managed to turn  
his head."  
Deanna grinned at her.  
"And noI'm not jealous!"  
"OK. What else did Estelle say?"  
Her amusement faded rapidly. Her voice falling to a whisper, tears  
slid down her cheeks.  
"He called my name when he came."  
Deanna felt the surge of remorse and sadness welling up in Beverly  
and moved closer to take her hands. They sat in silence for a  
while, the Counsellor giving Beverly the time she needed to find  
her composure.  
"Beverly"  
The Doctor shook her head and lifted her chin.  
"No Deanna. I have come to the inescapable and most unpleasant  
conclusion that I have treated him as little more than an amusing  
ornament. How many times have I ignored his paincallously  
disregarded his feeling as I shunned his ever so gentle overtures  
of love? Our friendship was based on nothing more than my selfish  
need to have someone to be there for mesomeone I knew would  
always bow to my wish to remain close, but always at arms length.  
The night he offered himself, gently suggested we take our relationship  
to an intimate level, I turned him down. But that's not the worst  
of it. I told him I was afraid. That was perhaps the most hurtful  
lie I've ever told. It must have broken his heart yet he remained  
loyal to me and swallowed his pain in order to preserve our friendship.  
I've treated him so badlyfor so many damn yearshow  
the hell do I tell him now that I love him? That I want himso  
much it actually hurts!"  
Deanna moved to sit next to Beverly and wrapped an arm around  
her shoulders.  
"I think there's only one thing you need to keep in mind.  
He loves you. You know him Beverlyhe's a very astute man.  
He would've known what you were doing yet he chose to ignore it  
and keep on loving you. With remarkable patience he's waited for  
youif you find the courage to talk to him I think you'll  
find he'll accept you with open arms and a joyous heart."  
Beverly shook her head, her mouth a grimace of pain.  
"I can't Deanna. I've been such a bitch"  
Deanna stood and gently pulled Beverly to her feet.  
"Give it time Beverly, you both need to recover from your  
recent situations. I'm sure when you've thought about it some  
more you'll realise that what I've said is true."  
With a rueful smile, Beverly hugged her friend. With a sigh she  
looked over at the table.  
"Come on let's eat."

 

 

 

 

 

Her medically imposed leave over and with Deanna's  
permission to return to duty, Beverly stood outside Sickbay feeling  
butterflies rise in her stomach. Gritting her teeth, she strode  
inside.  
Several heads snapped up and worried glances slid between the  
staff. Beverly stopped in the middle of the main area and softly  
cleared her throat.  
"May I have your attention please? Would you all gather here?  
I've something I'd like to say to you all."  
She waited as the curious staff members gathered around her.  
"First of all I've been passed fit for duty and I am resuming  
my post. Secondly I would like to apologise for my recent unacceptable  
behaviour, I treated you all very badly and I know I've damaged  
some friendships and our working relationship. Please rest assured  
it will not happen again and if you can forgive my actions I would  
like to try and put it behind us."  
There was an uncomfortable silence as people shuffled their feet  
and glanced at each other. It was Alyssa Ogawa who broke the tension.  
With a warm grin on her face she said,  
"Welcome back Doctor Crusher."  
Beverly's relieved smile caused a soft chorus of good will and  
smiles. As her staff drifted away, Beverly sought out Selar. Beckoning  
to her the two women moved to the office.  
"Selar I particularly wanted to apologise to you personally.  
I treated you appallingly, both as a patient and as a colleague."  
The Vulcan cocked her head.  
"Your behaviour puzzled me Doctor, I did not understand why  
you would act in such a manner. I still don't."  
Beverly sighed and rubbed her forehead.  
"I was having difficulties with a personal matter and I overreacted."  
"I see. Has this matter been resolved?"  
Beverly squared her shoulders and lifted her chin.  
"Not completely, however I won't let it interfere with my  
job any more."  
The Vulcan nodded once.  
"Then I see no reason to dwell on it any further. I am pleased  
you are back on duty Doctor Crusher."  
Surprised at the admission, Beverly smiled at the stoic Doctor.  
"It's good to be back, believe me."  
Later Beverly was hard at work trying to catch up on the backlog  
of reports when a call came through.  
"Picard to Crusher."  
Her heart missed a beat and she closed her eyes.  
"Crusher here."  
"Deanna tells me you're back on duty. How is everything?"  
Fisting her hands, Beverly frowned.  
"Oh fineI've got a lot of work to catch up on though."  
"I'm sure you have."  
There was an awkward silence before Jean-Luc said gently,  
"Beverlywill I see you at breakfast tomorrow?"  
She covered her face in her hands and took a deep breath. Lifting  
her head she willed her tears away.  
"No Jean-LucI don't think so."  
The pain was evident in his lowered voice.  
"I see. Very wellperhaps I might see you in the lounge  
one night?"  
His hopefulness was heart rending.  
"I don't know. Look I've got all this work to do"  
"Of course. Picard out."  
Despite her best efforts two tears escaped.

 

 

 

 

Knowing that she would have to attend the morning  
briefing at eight hundred hours, Beverly rose extra early and  
ate a quick breakfast. Her entry into Sickbay caught the gamma  
shift unawares and she had to reassure the staff that all was  
well. She went into the lab and took a sample of her own blood,  
preparing some slides, which she placed into an analyser. Setting  
the instrument to do a lengthy study, she checked the chronometer  
and left Sickbay, arriving at the observation lounge ten minutes  
early for the briefing.  
At precisely eight o'clock Jean-Luc strode in, his step faltering  
when he saw Beverly seated calmly in her chair. He nodded to her  
and took his seat, concentrating on a PADD, deliberately keeping  
his eyes lowered. The rest of the senior staff filed in and soon  
all eyes were on the Captain.  
With little to report, the briefing quickly wound to a completion.  
The study was proceeding and all departments were functioning  
normally. As the staff were dismissed, Jean-Luc quietly requested  
Beverly to remain. Once alone he looked her squarely in the eye  
and in a soft voice asked,  
"How are you?"  
She smiled wanly and shrugged.  
"Oh I'm fine."  
He studied her, trying to see behind her façade.  
"And your workthe reports, have you caught up?"  
She nodded, her attempts to keep up the smile beginning to crack.  
He tentatively reached for her hand, his eyes softly glowing.  
"Beverlywhat's wrong?"  
She pulled her hand back and stood.  
"I'm sorry Captain but I really must be getting back to Sickbay.  
I have an important analysis running and I do need to be there  
when it's complete."  
His eyes hardened and his face became a stoic mask.  
"Very well Doctor. Dismissed."  
She stepped back from the table and walked swiftly to the door,  
but hesitated as it opened. She turned to see her best friend,  
head bowed and sadness marring his face. Swallowing her words  
of contrition, Beverly left.

 

 

 

 

 

 

For the next thirty-six hours Jean-Luc devoted  
all his energy to the current study of the pulsar. The departments  
involved became used to him haunting their sections and he spent  
protracted amounts of time sequestered in the Ready Room, mulling  
over the mysteries of space. Late in the day Deanna was frowning  
deeply when Will turned to speak to her. His speech stifled, he  
watched as her eyes clouded.  
"What is it?"  
She didn't answer immediately, preferring instead to finish her  
contemplation of her subject. When her eyes cleared Will knew  
she was back. She sighed and looked at him.  
"It's the CaptainI'm worried about him."  
Will looked over at the closed doors and sighed.  
"He's been very quiet latelymore so than usual and  
totally engrossed in our present study. I didn't know pulsars  
could be so fascinating."  
Deanna shook her head.  
"That's just it, they're not. He's using this study to close  
himself off from what's bothering him. Has he gone to his quarters  
at all?"  
Will frowned and consulted his monitor.  
"No. According to the night watch he stayed in the Ready  
Room and made several appearances on the Bridge during the night.  
It says here he was updating the logs."  
Deanna scowled.  
"Updating the logs? I don't think so. When was the last time  
he ever got behind with the logs?"  
Will scratched his beard and shook his head.  
"Never...at least not while he's been on duty."  
"Precisely."  
Standing, Deanna squared her shoulders.  
"You're going to tackle him about it?"  
"Uh huh."  
"Good luck."  
She turned and smiled warmly at her lover.  
"If I don't come out soonsend help."  
He was still chuckling when she pressed the chime.

 

 

 

 

 

"Come."  
Deanna entered the Ready Room to find her Captain standing at  
the viewport, staring out into the void, his arms folded across  
his chest. He half turned and frowned slightly when he saw who  
had requested entry. The two officers regarded each other for  
a few moments before Jean-Luc sighed and gestured Deanna to a  
seat.  
"What can I do for you Counsellor?"  
She noted he remained at the window, his back to her.  
"Captain I sense you are avoiding something you find very  
upsetting. Would you like to talk about it?"  
His voice was dull.  
"No."  
The Counsellor took a large breath and crossed her legs.  
"The problem won't go away by ignoring it Captain. You need  
to confront it."  
"Do I?"  
With exasperation Deanna's voice hardened.  
"Yes Captain you do!"  
He turned slowly and summoned a glare.  
"Well I disagree with you Counsellor! Now I have things to  
do, so if you don't mind"  
Meeting his eyes Deanna stiffened her mental defences against  
his anger.  
"Yes Captain I do mind. When was the last time you had a  
decent mealor slept in your own bed? You've been hiding  
in heresubmerging yourself in the studyavoiding what's  
really bothering you. It can't go on Captain! You need"  
In two quick steps he was towering over her.  
"For God's sake womanI'll be the judge of what I need!  
Who the hell do you think you are?"  
Quietly, she replied,  
"Your Counsellorand your friend."  
His glare faded and he silently slid into his chair. Sighing,  
his voice softened.  
"I'm sorry Deanna that was uncalled for."  
"What is it CaptainEstelle or Beverly?"  
His eyes flicked up and she clearly felt his spike of irritation  
and sadness.  
"Beverly."  
"Why?"  
He picked up his crystal shard and stared at it for some time.  
Eventually he muttered,  
"She's avoiding me. I'm afraid our friendship has been irrevocably  
damaged."  
Deanna's silence made him look at her. What he saw made him frown  
with ire.  
"It's not funny Counsellor!"  
"I know Sir, I just find it ironic. I've had a similar conversation  
with Beverlyshe fears the same thing."  
His yes sharpened and his head snapped up.  
"She does?"  
"Yes Captain. Sir I believe everything will be all rightjust  
give it time."  
He threw down the shard and snorted.  
"Time? That's all I have been giving her! Thirty bloody year's  
worth of damn time! I'm so tired of all this"  
Deanna quietly plexed as she waited for his anger to subside.  
True to form he shook his head and ruthlessly quashed his feelings.  
Deanna sighed and shook her head.  
"I will resolve itself Captain. In the mean time I would  
like you to go to your quarters to eat and rest."  
The glare was back in full force, making Deanna wince mentally.  
"What now? But I have"  
"Yes Captain now. Would you like me to walk you home?"  
Gritting his teeth and staring at his fisted hands upon the desk  
he ground out,  
"That will not be necessary."  
Standing Deanna smiled softly down at the vexed man.  
"Very well Sir. I will inform Commander Riker of myrecommendations."  
She left, the doors whispering shut behind her. Jean-Luc slammed  
his fists down on the desk, swearing colourfully in both French  
and Standard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Having found himself effectively off duty for the  
day and with several hours to kill before he could retire for  
the night, Jean-Luc wandered around his cabin, wistfully examining  
his artefacts. Normally such an activity would comfort him but  
he felt disjointedsomehow cast adrift. He sighed and requested  
some soothing music, but found that the melody annoyed him. With  
irritation he ordered it to cease and sat brusquely in his favourite  
chair, his eyes resting on the stars. For once they couldn't calm  
him. He tried reading and, when that failed, he went and showered  
hoping the hot water would relax him.  
Feeling a little better, he emerged in his robe and picked up  
his flute. From the computer he obtained his most recent composition  
and quietly applied himself to the music, concentrating on the  
lulling notes.  
Three hours passed and he found when he finally lowered his instrument  
he was feeling much calmer. Memories of Kataan, his wife and children  
who never really existed drifted through his mind and he smiled  
gently. He sat in silence communing with his lost family, his  
hands holding the Ressikan flute, the only tangible thing he had  
to connect him with them. He sighed and tenderly replaced the  
flute in its box. Checking the time, he went to the replicator  
and gained his evening meal. He ate slowly, his mind still drifting  
and took his tea to his chair. With his feet propped under the  
viewport he finally allowed himself to think about Beverly.  
"Why is she being so distant? Was it my relationship with  
Estelle? But that can't be itwe've both had relationships  
with other people. What about Odanand Ronin? I accepted  
themwell maybe not Roninbut still we remained friends.  
I don't understand this!"  
He drained his tea and, ordering the lights off, wandered into  
his bedroom. Once in bed, he stretched out on his back and put  
his hands behind his head.  
"Deanna said she was jealous. Jealous? Beverlyjealous  
of my relationship with Estelle? Surely notthat's absurd.  
Could it be the disease? Perhaps there's a post illness depression?  
That's not uncommon. Oh wait a minutewhat about the unfortunate  
interruption? Could she be upset over that?"  
He snorted and turned over.  
"Noshe 's got a broad mind. If anything she'd find  
that amusingsomething to tease me with. And she did tease  
me! What then? What the hell is it?"  
For the next two and a half hours he wrestled with the problem,  
thoughts of sleep banished. Tossing and turning, all he managed  
to do was get himself mentally exhausted.  
Throwing off the covers he stalked into his living area and called  
for the lights.  
"Computer is Doctor Crusher in her quarters?"  
"Affirmative."  
"Is she asleep?"  
"Negative."  
"Right! Well settle this once and for all!"  
With his robe going over his shoulders, he strode from his cabin.  
Deanna sat up in bed, careful not to disturb her sleeping  
companion. Focussing on the Captain, she smiled and nodded once.  
"Yes! It's about time."

 

 

 

Beverly was suffering from insomniaagain.  
With her mind whirling with disturbing thoughts of Jean-Luc, she  
gave up on sleep, choosing instead to sit on her sofa, watching  
the stars. The door chimed twice before she responded.  
"Computer who is at my door?"  
"Captain Jean-Luc Picard."  
She scowled and irritation bubbled to the surface. With quick  
movements she strode to the door and stabbed the release.  
"What?"  
Taken aback by her abrupt question, his first instinct was to  
adopt a command attitude.  
"I beg your pardon Doctor?"  
Seeing his intractable eyes boring into hers, Beverly relented.  
"My apologies Captain. How can I help you?"  
He reigned in his anger and schooled his features into something  
more friendly.  
"BeverlyI've come to talk to you. We"  
With an effort the Doctor kept her tone civil.  
"I'm sorry Captain it's very late and I have to get up early  
tomorrow, so if you don't mind"  
She turned her back and walked back into her quarters. Her attitude  
angered the Captain and he followed her. Unaware of his presence  
Beverly was about to sit again when she noticed him. Standing  
rigidly she hissed,  
"How dare you!"  
Stiffening his resolve, Jean-Luc stood close. His voice was low  
and intense.  
"I'm not leaving Beverlynot until I find out why you've  
been avoiding me."  
She took a step backwards, rattled when he followed her.  
"It's none of your business!"  
"Isn't it? Out with it Beverly, tell meI have a right  
to know!"  
Now incensed the Doctor moved closer and raised her voice.  
"You arrogant bastard! What makes you think you have any  
rights..?"  
His own voice rising, his eyes glittering dangerously, he replied,  
"Because our friendship is worth too much to me to allow  
anything to destroy it!"  
This time she shouted.  
"It's not about our damn friendship!"  
Confused, he straightened and his face fell into an inscrutable  
mask.  
"What do you mean?"  
His predictable reaction infuriated the red head. Always, when  
confronted with the dynamics of their relationship he didn't understand  
he withdrew into his command façade.  
"Stop it! Why the hell do you do that?"  
Anger flittered across his eyes.  
"What are you talking about? Do what?"  
"Become the bloody Captain! I want to talk to youJean-Luc!"  
He stepped close again, invading her space.  
"So you'll talk to me now?"  
She leant forward and shouted,  
"You're insufferable!"  
He replied loudly.  
"Maybe so, but at least I'm honest!"  
That stunned her. With a pounding heart she yelled,  
"You pompous, conceited"  
"Tell me!"  
He roared.  
"I love you dammitII want you, you egotistic"  
He grabbed her head and suddenly kissed her, roughly pushing his  
tongue into her mouth.  
Furious, she pulled back and slapped him across the face. For  
several heartbeats they stared hotly at each other then she abruptly  
grabbed his sleep top and wrenched, tearing the fabric and baring  
his chest. She then gripped his shoulders and kissed him, mimicking  
his earlier actions. Pulling back and panting, she was about to  
turn away when he grabbed her and pushed her backwards, his mouth  
descending for another passionate kiss. Caught off guard, she  
stumbled and they fell to the floor, still kissing. His hand found  
her breast and squeezed roughly as the kiss deepened to savage  
intensity. They both tasted blood and Beverly pulled the robe  
from his shoulders. He started to plunge his tongue in and out  
of her mouth, imitating the urgent thrusting of his hips against  
her. She felt his stiff erection and clawed at his shorts pulling  
them down. He grabbed her nightie and pushed it up her body, exposing  
her breasts. As his penis pushed against her, he lowered his hand  
and gripped her panties, tearing them off. With primal urgency,  
her legs wrapped around him as he plunged into her. She arched  
under him and screamed into his mouth. His eyes screwed shut he  
pounded in and out of her, his entire body dedicated to satisfying  
this overwhelming need.  
Her hands pulled up his shirt, her nails raking his back as he  
strained and grunted. Breaking the kiss, he rose up on his arms  
and opened his eyes, watching with intensity as she writhed beneath  
him.  
With a suddenness that surprised him, he felt the rushing wave  
of his climax approach. Lowering his body quickly, he bit her  
shoulder and hastened his thrusts. It was all she needed. With  
a cry of triumph she convulsed and flexed as he was overcome with  
a powerful orgasm. His mouth left her shoulder and he called her  
name, and then slowly rested his brow against her neck as they  
attempted to regain their breath.

 

 

 

 

 

Some minutes later he realised she had taken her  
hands from his body. Sensing her tension. He lifted his head and  
tried to look at her. She avoided his eyes and he felt the beginnings  
of dismay and embarrassment. He pulled himself from her and climbed  
to his feet, swiftly pulling up his shorts and shrugging his robe  
back over his shoulders. Keeping his eyes on the floor, he helped  
Beverly as she regained her feet and restored her nightie. When  
he did chance a glance, she was smoothing her hair. Quietly he  
muttered,  
"I...I should be going."  
He took several steps to the door when her soft voice stopped  
him.  
"Wait."  
He turned and frowned at seeing blood on her mouth. She came to  
him and he raised his hand tentatively to touch the split lip  
with a fingertip.  
She smiled crookedly and whispered,  
"At least let me repair your back."  
Her words made him roll his shoulders, the answering pain making  
him wince. She left him briefly and returned with a tissue regenerator.  
To her silent request, he slid his robe and torn shirt off and  
allowed her to heal the deep vivid scratches. When she was finished  
she went to the bathroom to administer the same treatment to her  
injured lip. When she came again into the living area, he was  
gone.

 

 

 

 

The Counsellor frowned and shook her head. Aroused  
by what she'd sensed, she also felt the dismay and embarrassment.  
As she gently woke her lover her mind roiled.  
"What now?"  
Will's eyes opened sluggishly and he was about to enquire what  
was wrong when Deanna's hand closed over his penis. Coming fully  
awake quickly he grinned in the darkness and took her into his  
arms.  
She let her mind free itself of concern as she gave herself to  
her lover, deciding to tackle the problem later.

 

 

 

 

Beverly stood staring at the floor, where minutes  
ago they had given rein to their lusttheir mutual passion.  
His reaction, though predictable, saddened her. That he should  
be embarrassed, or worse, sorry about what had occurred made her  
anger rise.  
"Why the hell can't he see that it took both of us, that  
I was as keen as he? God the climax wasstunning and he seemed  
to enjoy it. Maybe enjoy is the wrong word? Maybe he didn't enjoy  
itmaybe he's ashamed? Oh God why did I pick such a complex,  
convoluted man? Why couldn't it be an orthodox relationship?"  
She sighed and moved to the bathroom, slipping off her nightie  
and entering the shower. Some time later she was lying in bed,  
concentrating on relaxing, letting the after effects of her desire  
furnish the release of tension she sought. It took some time,  
but she eventually found sleep.

 

Jean-Luc lay in bed, his body thrumming with sensation.  
Usually after sex he found sleep quickly, but on this occasion  
he lay wide-awake and very tense.  
"My Godwhat have I done? To lose control like thatshe'll  
never forgive me. Godtaking herrutting on the floor  
like some kind of animalshit!"  
Despite his condemnations he was becoming aroused. Frowning, he  
turned onto his side and tried to ignore the growing erection.  
"Why did I do that? Of all the reprehensible things I could've  
doneoh God anything would've been better than that. What  
the hell was I thinking? GodI wasn't, that's the problem."  
As he remonstrated with himself, his mind kept relaying images  
of what they'd done. Lying there in his bed, his thoughts became  
more vivid and erotic. Now painfully erect, he rolled onto his  
back and pushed his shorts down, spreading the bead of pearl with  
his palm. He moaned and shook his head, trying to dispel the images,  
trying to stop what he knew would happen. Fruitlessly he screwed  
his eyes shut as his large hand gripped his throbbing penis and  
began to stroke. When his hips started to thrust he gasped and  
quickened his pace.  
Despite already experiencing an orgasm, he knew he wouldn't last  
long. He tightened his grip and pumped faster, the climax quickly  
overwhelming him. As he came he sobbed, tears falling down his  
face.  
"Oh God Beverlywhat have you done to me?"

 

 

 

 

 

Throughout the next day Jean-Luc kept to himself,  
safely ensconced in the Ready Room. Deanna had tried to speak  
with him, but he refused to talk to her. She knew he was deeply  
troubled by something and she also knew it had to do with his  
visit to Beverly, but she eventually had to abide by his wishes  
and leave him alone.  
He worked until well after his shift ended and only retired to  
his quarters when Will reminded him that Deanna would be angry  
if he again started to neglect his health.  
It was quite late and he was still at his desk when the door chimed.  
He frowned, but called,  
"Come."  
The door opened and he gasped when he saw Beverly. She was dressed  
in off duty clothes, but he could plainly see she was both tired  
and nervous.  
"You still working?"  
He cleared his throat and tried to calm his racing heart.  
"YesI'm not very tired."  
"I see."  
She stepped into his cabin and the doors whispered shut.  
"Can I come in?"  
He smiled wanly and shrugged.  
"You're already in."  
Mirroring his smile she cocked her head.  
"So I am."  
He sighed and slowly stood. Gathering his courage, he whispered,  
"BeverlyI'm so sorry."  
He was startled by the blank look she gave him.  
"Sorry? What for?"  
Coming around the desk, he led her to the sofa and they both sat.  
Taking her hands, he looked deeply into her eyes.  
"For what I did. You are, of course, within your rights to  
lodge a formal complaint against meI won't contest it."  
She pulled her hands back abruptly.  
"Jesus Jean-Luc don't be so bloody noble!"  
Confusion caused him to frown deeply.  
"What?"  
Beverly stood and placed her fists on her hips.  
"I was there too you knowI wanted it Jean-LucI  
enjoyed it!"  
He stood too and shook his head.  
"You enjoyed it? Butbut"  
She took his hands and tried to look under his brow.  
"Look, it's not something I'd want to do on a regular basisbut  
every now and then? Why not?"  
"But Beverlyto take you like thaton the bloody  
floorto lose control"  
She chuckled causing him to frown.  
"Don't you see? It was you loss of control that made it so  
exciting. Jean-Luc to know I can provoke that kind of response  
in youto know that I can push you over the edgeit  
empowered me! Godwhen was the last time you did that?"  
He finally found a smile and drew her once again to the sofa.  
Chuckling, he answered,  
"A very long bloody time. In fact I think I was still and  
Ensign."  
"There you go."  
He sighed and lowered his head, still troubled.  
"It wasn't what I always dreamed our first time would be  
like."  
Tenderly she lifted his chin and let him see her love.  
"Tell me."  
Smiling ruefully he sighed.  
"Oh you knowcandles, musica soft bedall  
very romanticand contrived."  
She sighed and gently kissed him.  
"Sounds wonderful."  
They enjoyed a moment's silence until Jean-Luc asked,  
"Beverlywhy were you so angry with me?"  
Steeling herself, she gathered her courage.  
"Jean-Luc my recent reprehensible behaviour came about because  
I was jealous of you and Estelle. When I finally came to terms  
with that I also came to a few upsettingand shameful conclusionsabout  
you and me."  
His eyebrows rose but he said nothing.  
"I came to the sorrowful truth that I had been using youusing  
our friendship for my own selfish means for years. I treated you  
awfully Jean-Luclike you were little more than a whipping  
boy. I hurt you and disregarded you and your feelings while I  
went about doing whatever I pleased."  
Two tears slipped over her eyelids and slowly fell down her face.  
His thumb on her face, so tenderly wiping the tears made her gasp.  
"Oh Jean-Lucmy dearest friendcan you forgive  
me?"  
In reply he took her head in his hands. His deep voice made her  
tremble.  
"BeverlyIn your quarters last night you said you loved  
me. Is that true?"  
She nodded, more tears slipping free.  
"Then that's all I need to know."  
He gently eased her head down to his shoulder and wrapped his  
arms around her. She cried quietly for a time before sitting up  
and wiping her face.  
"There's more Jean-Luc."  
He tilted his head and whispered.  
"Tell me."  
"I was never afraid. I used that as a convenient excuse to  
put you off. Another of my recent discoveries is just how much  
I love youand desire you. I want you Jean-Lucoh God  
you've no idea how deeply I want you."  
He sighed and ran his fingers down her face, dallying at her lips.  
"Would you like to stay the night? Perhaps I could demonstrate  
my fantasies."  
Beverly smiled, charmed by his gentle manner.  
"You still haven't said if you forgive me. I've been such  
a bitch"  
His fingers pressed her lips, stilling her words. Shaking his  
head he answered,  
"Beverly I would be lying if I said I was ignorant of your  
attitude towards me. I chose to close my eyes to itI simply  
loved you too much."  
He chuckled ruefully.  
"You could've done just about anything you wanted and I would  
have turned my cheek and let you do it again."  
She sighed and kissed him.  
"I don't deserve you."  
He pulled back and she was surprised by the anger in his eyes.  
"Don't ever say that! You"  
She shushed him and rested her head on his shoulder.  
"I'm sorry."  
He sighed and rubbed her back.  
"All is forgiven my love. Will you stay?"  
Beverly sat up and smiled sadly.  
"Not tonight. I want it to be special Jean-Luc and right  
now I'm feeling very vulnerable. Can you understand?"  
He nodded and she was delighted to see the grin creep across his  
face.  
"But I can have a kiss?"  
She nodded, her own grin appearing.  
"Oh yes!"  
The kiss was so tender, yet filled with such restrained passion  
the Beverly began to cry again. She drew back and kissed Jean-Luc's  
face, his eyes, brow, cheeks, chin and then his mouth, trying  
to impart the same level of love and need that he had. He sighed  
into her mouth and embraced her revelling in the warm suppleness  
of her body. Before the kiss could escalate, Beverly withdrew  
and slowly stood.  
"I'd better be going."  
Jean-Luc stood and sighed expansively. Taking her hands, he looked  
deeply into her soft blue eyes.  
"I love you Beverlywith all that I am, and it feels  
bloody wonderful to tell you."  
Beverly grinned and kissed him once more.  
"I know I love you too."  
He let go of her hands as she walked slowly to the doors. She  
half turned, blew a kiss and said,  
"Goodnight my love."  
His deep voice carried clearly.  
"And you my heart. Goodnight."  
With a lightness of spirit he hadn't felt for a very long time,  
Jean-Luc went to bed and slept soundly for the first time in weeks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deanna resettled in her seat and crossed her  
legs. Sliding her eyes over the Captain, she knew something important  
had happened and she was squirming with curiosity. He was almost  
ebullient. Twice he'd engaged Will in amusing anecdotes of his  
time as a up and coming officer, causing Will's delighted laughter  
and interest. When the Captain was occupied, he cast his eyes  
over to Deanna, his eyebrows raised in query. All she could do  
was shrug. Subliminally she sent,  
"I don't know. Something happened last night."  
He nodded surreptitiously, but reddened when Jean-Luc said, with  
his head lowered and his eyes on the chair monitor,  
"Would you like to share Commander?"  
The First Officer cleared his throat and summoned a friendly tone.  
"Ahwe were just wondering Captainyou seem to  
be in a very good moodSir."  
He looked up and watched the pulsar for a moment. His voice, when  
he replied, was wistful.  
"I suppose I am. I'll endeavour to be morecircumspect."  
Will glanced at Deanna and frowned.  
"No Captain! Ithat is we were enjoying hearing about  
your past. It's not often you tell us anything about your youth."  
"Hmm. Perhaps it's not something I remember very fondly."  
Deanna recrossed her legs and clasped her hands in her lap. Jean-Luc  
cast her a sidelong look and frowned.  
"Are you uncomfortable Counsellor? You seem to be unable  
to settle."  
Deanna sighed and bit the bullet.  
"May I see you in the Ready Room please Captain?"  
Turning to his First Officer, Jean-Luc rolled his eyes and sighed.  
"Very well."  
He stood and looked down at a grinning Commander.  
"You have the Bridge Number One."  
"Aye Sir."

 

 

 

Once both officers were seated, Jean-Luc stalled  
by offering Deanna a drink. Stifling her irritation, she declined.  
Jean-Luc clasped his hands on the desktop and took a large breath.  
"Well Counsellor, how may I help you?"  
Deanna took a moment to order her thoughts then began.  
"Captain as you know, I monitor the emotions of the Command  
staff as a matter of course, especially yours. Over the last twenty-four  
hours I have detected a vast array of intense emotions from you,  
ranging from anger, embarrassment, sadness and despair, to elation  
and joyous happiness. Your very attitude today is testament to  
you mood. Captain may I askwhat has happened?"  
His eyes hardened, but his face remained open. He cocked his head  
and considered her question.  
"You are aware that I confronted Beverly the night before  
last?"  
"Yes Sir."  
He sighed and flushed slightly.  
"Well weIlet's just say it ended tumultuously.  
I was embarrassed and dismayed and I returned to my quarters in  
a very emotional state."  
Deanna crossed her legs and calmed herself in the face of his  
discomfort.  
"I see. And later?"  
He gave a small smile and shrugged his shoulders.  
"Beverly came to my quarters last night and we resolved our  
differences."  
Feeling the satisfaction this elicited in him, Deanna grinned.  
"I'm glad Captain. Sirforgive me for askingbut  
are you and Beverly...?"  
He stared at her and she felt she might have pushed too far. An  
intensely private man, he did not entertain questions about his  
private life.  
The tightness in his shoulders relaxed and he sighed.  
"I will tell you only because you have been a great help  
to me during this whole unpleasant episode. Yes we are now a couple."  
Deanna's smile was beatific.  
"Well Captain it's about time! If any two people belong together  
it's you two."  
He grinned self-consciously.  
"Thank you Deanna. As for the Command staff, you may tell  
Will, but for now we would appreciate some privacy. I will inform  
the others at a later datewhen things have settled."  
Deanna stood and nodded.  
"Of course Captain."  
She walked to the doors and paused. Turning, she said softly,  
"I so happy for you Captainfor you both."  
He nodded his thanks and remained seated for some minutes, allowing  
his mind to wander through happy thoughts, thoughts of his beloved  
Beverly.

 

 

 

 

 

The Doctor was sitting in her office. It had been  
a busy morning, the school having had a field trip to Sickbay.  
Each child wanted to be scanned with a medical tricorder and none  
was satisfied until they left with some tokens from the facility.  
Fortunately, Beverly had a supply of adhesive patches and harmless  
colourful topical solutions to apply, so all the kids left happy.  
After that she treated three Ensigns who had injured themselves  
in a game of Parrises Squares. Having admonished them for their  
carelessness and finishing with their treatment, she devoted some  
time to filing some reports until she found her mind wandering.  
With a wistful smile she permitted a daydream and was startled  
when Alyssa broke into her reverie.  
"What?"  
Grinning, the nurse held up a PADD.  
" Sorry to surprise you Doctor. I just brought in the analgesic  
inventory."  
Reddening, Beverly held out her hand.  
"Thank you."  
Her knowing eyes glowing, Alyssa offered,  
"You were off with the gypsies."  
Beverly grinned and shrugged.  
"Just daydreaming. Perk of Command."  
"Well enjoy yourself Doctor. Oh, by the waythank you  
again for dinner the other night. It really wasn't necessary."  
Her eyes sparkling Beverly replied,  
"Oh yes it was! I treated you very badly. It was the least  
I could do."  
"Well it's good to have the old you back. I take it whatever  
was troubling you has been resolved?"  
A wicked grin surfacing, Beverly nodded.  
"Uh huh."  
Alyssa looked over her shoulder before whispering,  
"The Captain?"  
"Uh huhbut keep it to yourself. It's not common knowledge  
yet."  
Sighing, the nurse grinned. With a wink and a jaunty thumbs up  
she left.  
Beverly sat back in her chair and decided to take affirmative  
action. Tapping her communicator she called,  
"Crusher to Picard."  
His deep voice responded immediately.  
"Picard here Beverly."  
She sighed and smiled softly.  
"Are you alone?"  
"Yes I'm in the Ready Room."  
"Good. What are you doing?"  
His sigh was distinct.  
"Actually I was sitting here thinking about you. I enjoyed  
breakfast this morning."  
She closed her eyes her head tilting.  
"Hmm me too."  
"Would you have dinner with me tonight?"  
"Yes that would be lovely. What time?"  
She could almost see his tender smile, the one he reserved exclusively  
for her.  
"How about twenty thirty?"  
"Done. And Jean-Luc?"  
He reply was breathless.  
"Yes?"  
"I love you. Crusher out."  
She sat back and picked up a stylus, rubbing it against her lips,  
lost in thought.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That night Jean-Luc dispensed with over indulgence.  
Instead of elaborate floral centrepieces and fine china, he opted  
for simple utilitarian crockery and cutlery. In truth he wasn't  
all that interested in the meal. What he looked forward to was  
afterwards, when they would sit on the sofa with a bottle of his  
family's finest and just talk. It was a combination of things  
that pleased him so. Her soft lilting voice, her brilliant mind  
and most of all, the deep feeling of contentment he had just by  
being in her company. The fact that she was also stunningly beautiful  
was icing on his cake. Closing his eyes he saw her lustrous red  
hair cascading down around her shoulders as her incredible blue  
eyes watched him with that almost patented half smile that was  
his alone.  
He was brought out of his introspection by the door announcer.  
"Come."  
When he saw her he forgot to breathe.  
"My God Beverly"  
She wafted into her quarters and sidled up to him. The deep green  
gown shimmered as she walked, the side splits revealing her long  
dancers legs. His eyes hotly roved over the expanse of alabaster  
skin exposed on her chest and back, her décolletage rising  
and falling with her breath. Dragging his eyes back to her face,  
he noticed the tip of her tongue moistening her lips. Her eyes  
half lidded, she took in his emerald silk shirt and tan slacks,  
cut more snugly than was his usual style. The soft leather brogues  
finished his outfit. Smiling wickedly, she lifted her gown hem  
and pushed out a foot. Jean-Luc glanced down and smiled at seeing  
the foot bare.  
Tilting his head, he enquired silently, his eyebrows raised.  
"I just felt like it."  
He chuckled and led her to the table, seating her and gently placing  
a kiss on her shoulder.  
"In case I forgetyou look absolutely gorgeous."  
She smiled and sighed.  
"You're not bad yourself."  
She looked around the table and frowned, knowing the he usually  
went to considerable trouble with details. Looking up at her friend,  
he shrugged.  
"I thought we'd enjoy something simple for a change."  
She grinned up at him and sighed.  
"Fine by me."  
The meal was taken in companionable silence, both merely satisfying  
the requirement of eating. Not bothering with dessert, Jean-Luc  
motioned to Beverly to go to the sofa while he disposed of the  
remains and dirty dishes. He soon joined her, a bottle of wine  
and two glasses in his hands.  
"Would you like some red?"  
She smiled up at him and nodded, maintaining the quiet. He uncorked  
the bottle, let it breathe, then poured the rich liquid into the  
glasses. They picked up the crystal ware and he proposed a toast.  
"To my dearest friend and soon, I hope, lover. I love youmay  
you always be by my side. To love."  
She repeated the toast and they sipped. Jean-Luc closed his eyes  
and drew a large breath savouring the wine. Beverly watched in  
amused silence, biding her time. With a decisive nod he swallowed.  
"Well?"  
His eyes opened and he smiled with satisfaction.  
"Superlative. I must send Marie a messageshe'd doing  
very well with the vineyard."  
"How do you feel about her taking it on?"  
He sighed and settled back into the cushions.  
"I was worried at firstthere's so much work involved.  
But she told me that Robert had trained several staff in the event  
they lost Renee to the Academy. Those staff have agreed to stay  
on so the label will continue.  
"You must be pleased."  
He was silent a while and Beverly waited patiently.  
"Yes I am. Although I was frustrated my inability to do anything  
about it, I would've been greatly saddened if my heritage had  
been lost."  
Beverly stretched out her legs and rested her feet on the low  
table. The dress opened and his eyes wandered over the skin of  
her legs.  
"You're a terrible tease you know."  
She chuckled and slapped his shoulder gently.  
"Don't get your balls is an uproar Jean-Luc. You've seen  
my legs before."  
"Don't get my ballsBeverly where on earth do you get  
these sayings? That was positivelybase."  
She chuckled again and rested her head back on the cushions.  
"It may be base but it's appropriate."  
He snorted.  
"That may be so, but stillmy balls and their condition  
are my business."  
It was Beverly's turn to snort.  
"That's not been my experience!"  
He sat up and poked a finger into her shoulder.  
"Hey! That's not fair. You know damn well I lost control.  
Would you hold that against me?"  
She opened her eyes and grinned saucily at him.  
"You'd be surprised what I'd hold against you."  
He swallowed and shook his head.  
"You're incorrigible."  
"Uh huh."  
Taking her glass he refilled both and settled back in the sofa.  
They drank quietly for a while, Beverly mildly surprised when  
he took her glass and set it on the table. Moving closer to her  
he said softly,  
"I want to kiss you."  
She smiled softly and gently wrapped her hand around his head,  
pulling him to her. They kissed tenderly, the taste of the wine  
adding to their pleasure. He moved closer still and deepened the  
kiss. She responded quickly, opening to him and revelling in his  
strength. He twisted his body and used a hand to sweep her legs  
up to lay them both along the sofa. She sighed into his mouth  
and thrilled as she felt his arousal against her hip. He trailed  
his fingers up her side and tentatively caressed her breast. She  
broke the kiss and gasped.  
"Jean-Luc"  
He nuzzled her neck and whispered into her ear,  
"Will you stay with me tonight?"  
She gripped his shoulders and made him raise his head. Looking  
deeply into his eyes she shook her head.  
"No my love."  
He closed his eyes and rested his head on her shoulder. In a pained  
voice he asked,  
"Why?"  
"Jean-Luc?"  
He lifted his head and looked at her.  
"I want it to be on neutral groundnot here and not  
in my quarters."  
He sighed.  
"I don't understand."  
"There're too many memories Jean-Luc. You want our relationship  
to be equal don't you?"  
He nodded.  
"Well I want us to start on a fair footing. Once we've established  
ourselves it won't matter where we are. I just want it to beunencumbered."  
He nodded again and sighed.  
"Very wellit will be as you wish. Where do you want  
to be?"  
She snuggled into his embrace and nuzzled him.  
"Well it won't be for about a week, I'm up to my armpits  
in work, but why don't you call up something on the holodeck?"  
He pulled back curiosity on his handsome face.  
"What would you like?"  
"Surprise me."  
He grinned and kissed her again. She moaned into his mouth and  
gently stroked him through his trousers. He abruptly broke the  
kiss and groaned.  
"Beverly"  
"Hush. You're not going to get any sleep with it like that."  
She stroked him again and he thrust involuntarily. Her fingers  
slid the fastener open and the zip opened under the pressure.  
Kissing him hungrily, her hand pushed down his pants and briefs,  
taking his erection in her delicate hand. As she caressed him,  
he moaned into her mouth and eased his hand over her breast. She  
arched up to him and he broke the kiss to gently bite her nipple  
through the fabric. She hastened her stroking and he began to  
thrust into her hand. Quickly lifting her dress, he slipped his  
hand into her panties and pushed his fingers into her hot depths,  
his thumb swiping her engorged clitoris. She cried out and flexed  
beside him, her grip tightening in him. He gasped and kissed her  
again as he felt his orgasm rushing over him. Trying to keep up  
his intimate caress, he spasmed and came over her hand, a small  
cry leaving his throat. Beverly followed an instant later, her  
lubricant flowing over his fingers.  
They lay panting, Jean-Luc's head resting on her breasts.  
"Oh God Beverly"  
"I know, me too."  
He looked up and smiled at her sated grin.  
"Why?"  
"Because we both needed it."  
"But not"  
"No, not making love in the traditional manner. For that  
we'll have to wait a little longer."  
He sighed and kissed her languidly.  
"All right I'll wait, but my original observation standsyou're  
a tease."  
She chuckled and kissed his nose.  
"Probably, but I will make it worth itI promise. Now  
how about we get cleaned up?"  
Twenty minutes later they were standing in each other's arms near  
the door.  
"Now Jean-Lucyou get a good night's sleep, ok?"  
"As long as you do too. Will I see you at breakfast?"  
She kissed him softly and caressed the back of his head.  
"You bet, but no dinners for a week. I have to work late  
each night and I'll be too tired to be good company."  
He frowned and rubbed her back.  
"You're not over working are you?"  
"No my love. It's just the current research. Once it's over  
I'll be free."  
He nodded and nuzzled her neck.  
"Very well. I'll spend my off time creating something appropriate  
for the holodeck."  
"I'll look forward to it. Goodnight my love."  
He kissed her again and sighed.  
"Goodnight Beverlyand thank you."  
She winked and turned the doors parting and letting in the bright  
light of the corridor.  
He stood watching the closed doors already applying his mind to  
the programme.

 

The next week passed relatively quickly. The couple  
started each day with a companionable breakfast and parted with  
a lingering kiss. The study of the pulsar ended and the great  
ship was sent to escort a group of terra formers to a distant  
planet.  
Although very busy with both her research and the usual demands  
of Sickbay, Beverly was happy when Deanna dropped by to see her.  
"Hi Dee."  
"Hi yourself. Have you got a few minutes?"  
"Uh huh."  
Together the two women walked into the office and Beverly retrieved  
some hot drinks.  
"What can I do for you?"  
A wicked smile appeared and Beverly sniggered.  
"What? Have you got some juicy gossip?"  
Deanna's continued silence made Beverly growl.  
"Out with it already!"  
With calculated indifference, the Counsellor crossed her legs  
and studied her perfect nails.  
"Wellit seems there's a new couple amongst the Command  
staff."  
Beverly's heart skipped a beat and a flush crept up her neck.  
"Really? How do you know?"  
With haughtiness, Deanna flicked her hair back from her face.  
"Let's just say I have a very reliable source."  
With calmness she didn't feel, Beverly remained nonchalant.  
"OKwho is it?"  
The delighted laughter caught the Doctor off guard.  
"Beverlythe Captain told me."  
Her flush deepened and she scowled at her friend.  
"Witch! You deliberately led me on. Some friend you are."  
The laughter continued.  
"Oh come oncan't you see the funny side? Besides I  
happen to think it's the best news I've heard in a long time."  
Sitting back in her chair, Beverly chuckled with the Counsellor.  
"Well I suppose you're pleased. It only took us whatthirty  
years?"  
Sobering, Deanna captured her friend's eyes.  
"It'll be worth the wait BeverlyI just know it."  
The Doctor sighed and grew wistful.  
"He's so damn noble. Can you imagine any other man willing  
to wait so long? And so patiently? He had more confidence in me  
than I did."  
Deanna smiled softly.  
"I think it's the most romantic thing I've ever come across.  
He's so happyhe tries to conceal it, but these past few  
days he's beeneuphoric. Actuallyso have you, although  
I have sensed sometrepidation."  
Beverly sighed and pulled her knee to her chest.  
"I'm not concerned about the near future, it's the long term  
that worries me. What if I don't live up to his expectations?  
He's waited so longand then there are our respective careers.  
How the hell will we balance that? Yes Dee, I've had myqualms."  
"Have you talked to him about it?"  
Beverly sighed and grinned.  
"Nup. We haven't even made love yet."  
A frown marred Deanna's face.  
"But BeverlyI sensed a veryintense episode between  
you two recently."  
Looking frankly at her friend, Beverly elaborated.  
"Actually it was a case of satisfying mutual lust. He took  
me very quickly on the floor in my quarters. It wasn't what I  
would call making love, neither was it anything like what we both  
thought our first time would be."  
"Oh. That explains hishe was very upset that night."  
Beverly leaned forward and picked up a stylus. Turning it slowly  
in her hands, she admitted,  
"We both were, but I was more concerned at how he would react.  
When I went to see him the next night he told me if I wished to  
lodge a formal complaint, he wouldn't contest it."  
She threw down the stylus and lifted her hair, only to drop it  
quickly.  
"I was so mad! He'd completely disregarded my part in the  
whole thing. Once I reminded him and explained my viewpoint we  
were able to talk about it and see it for what it was."  
Deanna ran her fingers around the rim of her cup and sighed.  
"So when will you make love?"  
Grinning wickedly Beverly chuckled.  
"Two more days. I asked him to conjure up something appropriate  
on the Holodeck. He's been working on it for days."  
Sharing her friend's chuckle, Deanna offered,  
"If I know our Captain it'll be something memorable."  
"That's what I'm hoping."  
Deanna stood and smiled down at the radiant Doctor.  
"Well I'd better get back to work. I'll see you inthree  
days And BeverlyI want details."  
A snort was her only reply.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jean-Luc sat quietly in the Command chair of the  
Bridge. He'd been suffering his First Officer's knowing grin for  
six days and it was finally beginning to irritate him He turned  
suddenly to the Commander and just caught the afterglow of the  
grin in full bloom. Keeping his voice calm and quietalways  
a danger sign, he addressed Will.  
"Is there something you wish to say Commander?"  
Somewhat alarmed at the undercurrent of icy anger emanating from  
his CO, Will sobered immediately.  
"Ahno Captain."  
"Then kindly devote yourself to your duties and stop grinning  
at me like some oafish fool."  
"Aye Captain."  
Straightening in his seat, he tucked his chin in and schooled  
his features into a visage of innocent ignorance. Jean-Luc turned  
his attention back to the screen and watched as the huge ship  
led a small flotilla of tiny craft towards their destination.  
An hour passed before Jean-Luc spoke to Will again.  
"Number one, as tomorrow is my day off I will be unavailable  
except for the usual priorities. Please see to it that I am undisturbed."  
"Of course Captain."  
Feeling the tension coming from his exec, Jean-Luc relented. Leaning  
closer he said sotto voce,  
"I understand your happiness for me Will and I appreciate  
it. Just keep it down to a dull roar."  
The grin made a brief appearance and his blue eyes twinkled.  
"Aye Sir."  
Nodding with satisfaction at the return of his friend's good humour,  
Jean-Luc wondered again how he was going to make it through to  
the next day. It was hours away and he was very impatient.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The day dragged on, his shift finally ending.  
He was reluctant to go straight to his quarters. He knew he was  
too energised to settle into his usual routine so he went to the  
lounge instead. Finding his customary table unoccupied he sat  
and gazed out at the stars, fascinated as always. The waiter took  
his order and he sipped the wine when it came, his mind going  
over the details of his programme yet again.  
"Oh God I hope she likes it."  
He was interrupted by a call from the Bridge.  
"Data to Captain Picard."  
"Picard here Data."  
"I know you are off duty Captain, but we have received a  
hail from one of the flotilla. They are experiencing difficulties."  
Jean-Luc frowned and sighed.  
"What kind of difficulties?"  
"Apparently their engines are over heating. The cause is  
unknown."  
"Understood. I'm on my way."  
"Shall I call Commander Riker Sir?"  
Jean-Luc paused and considered the request.  
"No Data, but you might inform Commander LaForge. We may  
need his expertise."  
"Aye Captain. Data out."

 

 

 

 

In all it took nine and a half hours to assist in  
the repair of the small ship. Jean-Luc entered his cabin tired  
and irritable. They were now behind schedule and couldn't increase  
speed to make up the deficit.  
He stalked into his bedroom and undressed quickly. Pulling on  
some satin shorts he slid into bed and called out brusquely,  
"Lights out!"  
Taking a calming breath he concentrated on the next day...and  
what he hoped it might bring. Despite his disturbing thoughts  
he eventually found sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

The incessant chime slowly penetrated his dream.  
With eyes snapping open, he glanced at his chronometer and groaned  
when he realised he'd overslept. He flung the covers back and  
rose, shrugging on his robe as he went to the door.  
"Come."  
Beverly's face was a study.  
"Jean-Luc? Are you all right?"  
As she spoke she stepped up to him and placed her hand on his  
forehead. He sighed, reached up and gently removed her hand.  
"I can assure you I'm fine. I simply overslept."  
The Doctor stepped back and hitched her hands on her hips.  
"You overslept? Today?"  
Closing his eyes, he sighed again.  
"I knownot a very auspicious start I'll grant you.  
I was up late last night with problems concerning a ship in the  
flotilla and I was very late getting to bed. As a result I forgot  
to set the alarm."  
Smiling with relief, Beverly took his hand and led him to the  
table.  
"Well you just sit and I'll get breakfast."  
As she worked she chatted.  
"Are you sure you still want to go to the Holodeck? Maybe  
we should just stay here and let you rest."  
He caught her hand as she walked by.  
"Oh no Beverly. This means way to much to meI would  
have to be comatose to give up on that."  
She smiled and bent to kiss him tenderly.  
"Good. I'm looking forward to it too."  
They ate breakfast and as he stood to go to his bathroom, Beverly  
slowly turned in front of him.  
"Is my attire appropriate?"  
The white sundress was covered with small red roses and she looked  
stunning as always. He sighed and came to her, taking her in his  
arms. His answer was a languid kiss and she giggled when they  
parted, her fingers brushing over his stubble. He grinned and  
rubbed his hand over his jaw.  
"AhI'll just go and shower. I won't be long."  
Beverly was reading from a book of sonnets when he reappeared,  
shaven and dressed in midnight blue slacks and a light blue shirt.  
He approached the replicator and she watched as he spent some  
time ordering his choices. When he turned to her he had a picnic  
basket and a blanket in his hands.  
She stood and he offered his arm.  
"Shall we?"  
Nodding and feeling giddy with happiness, they left his quarters.

 

 

 

 

The Holodeck doors rumbled open and Beverly gasped.  
Stepping in, the doors morphed into the scenery and Beverly turned  
slowly, trying to take in all she saw. Jean-Luc put the basket  
and blanket on the floor then stood by her side, watching her  
intently.  
"Oh Jean-Lucwhere are we?"  
"Aingou, France. This is the summer castle of Henry the second,  
King of England."  
Her eyes settled on her friend, a slight frown evident.  
"The King of England had a castle in France?"  
Taking her by the hand, he led her up a great flight of stone  
stairs. As they climbed he explained.  
"He had many holdings in France. He was French and a very  
wealthy, powerful man. As a king he was quite good, instigating  
many reforms during his reign. He spent little time in England  
though, preferring to spend his time in France."  
Beverly looked around as the entered a bedroom that had a balcony.  
"So what happened to himdid he die in office?"  
Jean-Luc chuckled.  
"No. Actually he was defeated in battle by his son Richard  
The Lion Hearted. He died two days after signing a humiliating  
treaty having lost the crown."  
"Charming family."  
Holding her hand tightly, he encouraged Beverly to take in the  
view. Knowing she was afraid of heights, he didn't take her too  
close to the low battlements.  
"It's beautiful Jean-Lucbut why here?"  
He sighed and looked out over the countryside.  
"It's a memory from my youth. Aingou isn't far from LaBarre  
and we came to the ruins of this castle on school excursions."  
He turned and gestured to the nearby river.  
"I had my first kiss by that river."  
Beverly smiled and wrapped her arm around him.  
"How old were you?"  
"Thirteen."  
"What was her name?"  
He frowned in thought for some minutes.  
"Do you knowI can't recall. I do, however, remember  
how I felt."  
"And how was that?"  
"At first I was stunnedit was completely unexpectedthen  
I was abruptly aroused, and I was totally unprepared for the intensity  
of the feeling."  
Charmed at his candour, Beverly asked,  
"What did you do?"  
He smirked and blushed.  
"I kissed her back, rather forcibly. She got a fright and  
ran off. She didn't speak to me for weeks afterwards."  
The red head chuckled slyly.  
"So your impetuous streak developed early?"  
He grinned back and took her in his arms.  
"So it would seem."  
They kissed, the connection deepening and becoming passionate.  
When they parted they were both panting. Beverly ran her hands  
over his heaving chest.  
"So what have you got planned?"  
Gathering his control, he informed her,  
"I thought we could explore the castle then have lunch beside  
the river."  
"And then?"  
"I sort of thought we'd play that by ear."  
Grinning saucily, she took his hand and leaned to him.  
"OK, lead on."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three hours later they found themselves by the  
river, Jean-Luc shaking out the blanket. He waited until Beverly  
had made herself comfortable before sitting next to her and opening  
the basket. He removed some crusty rolls, an assortment of cheeses  
and several varieties of fruit. He showed her the bottle of white  
wine and she nodded her approval. While he uncorked the wine,  
she retrieved the glasses and held them while he poured. They  
spent the next half an hour eating, occasionally feeding each  
other and indulging in playful teasing. The gentle game slowly  
became erotic. He had been tickling her when his hand brushed  
her breast. She gasped and he quickly kissed her, his hand covering  
her breast and gently pinching the nipple. She arched and gripped  
his shoulders, urging his face up.  
"No Jean-Luc."  
Confused and dismayed he hissed,  
"What?"  
Seeing his look of consternation, she moved quickly to ease his  
mind.  
"It's all right! I just mean not here. I want a comfortable  
bed."  
He sighed in relief and quirked his eyebrow.  
"We could go back to the castle. The main bedroom has a big  
bed."  
She considered that and shook her head.  
Notoo draughty."  
Becoming exasperated he grumbled,  
"Where then?"  
Dislodging him Beverly sat up and took his hand.  
"Computer run programme Crusher two beta."  
The castle, river and countryside disappeared to be replaced by  
a bedroom decorated in the Victorian style. A huge four-poster  
bed sat in the middle of the room, covered in voluptuous covers  
of silk and satin. Frilled pillows adorned the mattress and sunlight  
slanted in through the bay window that graced one wall. Jean-Luc  
climbed slowly to his feet and lent a hand to assist Beverly.  
He studied the bed, a slow seductive smile creeping across his  
face.  
"Here?"  
She wound her arms around his head and kissed him softly.  
"Uh huh. You like?"  
He kissed her, his chest vibrating with his reply.  
"Hmm."  
They took their time divesting each other of their clothing. Sweet  
caresses and kisses greeted each newly exposed bit of skin as  
the tension slowly rose. Once fully naked, Jean-Luc took her hand  
and led her to the bed, standing by and watching as she settled  
herself amongst the pillows. He positioned himself beside her  
and kissed her with all the passion and love he could muster.  
She moaned into his mouth and gently stroked his throbbing penis  
making him shudder. He left her mouth and kissed his way to her  
breasts, one hand kneading while his mouth took the other nipple  
inside. He swirled his tongue over the tight bud then gently bit  
it. Beverly arched her body and pressed his head closer to her  
demanding more. Swapping breasts he treated the neglected nipple  
to the same treatment then suddenly left her breasts and tongued  
his way down her torso. She stretched and opened her legs; he  
took the opportunity to kneel between them. Reaching forward,  
he lightly trailed his fingers down her body, avoiding her sex  
and continuing down her thighs. She moaned and lifted her hips,  
presenting herself to him. He dallied his fingers in her coppery  
curls before parting her labia and gliding his fingers through  
her folds. Deliberately shunning her engorged clitoris, he suddenly  
slid two fingers inside her and her breath hissed through her  
teeth. Watching intently he pushed his fingers in and out of her,  
her mews of desire making his penis twitch. She closed her eyes  
and arched her neck as he bent forward and added his tongue to  
the intimate caress. As the rough muscle swiped over the pearl  
of her passion, she cried out and shuddered. His free hand reached  
up and tweaked her nipple as he increased his caresses. The flow  
of lubricant suddenly grew as she began to clench internally.  
With scandalous efficiency he curled his fingers inside her and  
sucked her clitoris into his mouth. Beverly exploded. She all  
but levitated off the bed and cried out incoherently, her body  
flexing and writhing. His timing exquisite, he reapplied his caress  
and pushed her over the edge twice more before he allowed her  
to rest. He sat up and slowly stilled his hand watching as she  
regained her breath. Through hooded lids she regarded him, her  
eyes sliding over his body to rest on his pulsing erection. His  
fingers still inside her, he gently curled them again and closed  
his eyes as she answered with a deep moan.  
She sat up and lifted his head, her lips meeting his in a slothful  
kiss. He withdrew his fingers and she lay back, holding her arms  
up to him. He stretched out and covered her with his body, his  
erection sliding through her folds. She lifted her legs and wrapped  
them around his waist, gently biting his earlobe. With an adjustment  
of his hips, he positioned himself at her entrance and slowly  
sank into her, feeling her clench around him. He kissed her passionately  
and she gripped his buttocks, urging him to move. With slow thrusts  
he slid in and out of her, her moans of wanton abandon spurring  
him on.  
He had intended it to last, to make up for the brevity of their  
last joining, but the enormity of the occasion caught him up in  
a haze of exquisite sensation. He broke the kiss and rose up on  
his arms. Quickening his pace he watched as the only woman he'd  
ever truly loved writhed beneath him. It was the culmination of  
all his dreams, all his fantasies, and every lonely episode of  
masturbation as he thought of her exactly like this. It was almost  
too much. Tears slipped from his eyes anointing his lover and  
gaining her attention. She opened her eyes and was overwhelmed  
by the expression of raw need and inexhaustible love she saw on  
his face. Reaching up with both hands, she took his face and gasped,  
"Love me Jean-Luc."  
A sob escaped him and he hastened his thrusts. Lost in her own  
ecstasy, Beverly felt the oncoming rush of her orgasm and called  
to him.  
"Be with me!"  
He closed his eyes and gave up any semblance of control. His back  
whip sawed as he plunged into her, his climax taking him abruptly.  
Their bodies clenched and flexed, her cries drowned out by his  
guttural shout of liberation. He collapsed on her and she held  
him tightly feeling his body shudder with sobs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Later they lay side by side, Beverly tenderly  
brushing away his tears.  
"Why do you weep my love?"  
He sighed and closed his eyes.  
"I was overwhelmed Beverly. I've wanted you for so longit  
was almost too much to bear."  
She smiled lopsidedly and kissed him.  
"Was it what you thought it would be?"  
"Oh Beverlyit was more...so much more! The reality  
of youit blasted my fantasies out of my head. Nothing could  
compare."  
"Do you know what it meant for me?"  
"What?"  
"The realisation that I can finally give myself to you, body  
and soul. I am yours Jean-Luc, forever."  
He kissed her and poured himself into the kiss, imparting his  
love and steadfast devotion. She reciprocated and when it ended  
they both had tears in their eyes.  
He settled onto his back and Beverly rested her head on his chest,  
idly drawing runes through his body hair. They were silent for  
a long time; in fact Beverly thought he'd fallen asleep. She lifted  
her head to look at him and was surprised to find his eyes open.  
"Jean-Luc? What are you thinking about?"  
He sighed, making her rise and fall.  
"The future. This changes everything doesn't it?"  
She leaned over and draped herself over him, crossing her arms  
over his chest and resting her head on her folded hands.  
"How?"  
"Well my career is no longer the most important thing in  
my life, you are. How do you see the future?"  
She brushed her fingers through his hair and sighed.  
"I don't see why we can't continue to serve aboard this ship,  
at least for the foreseeable future. You've got plenty of time  
to consider your optionsmaybe, in time, you could finally  
take up an admiralty and both of us could get a posting back on  
earth. The thing isanything is possible, as long as we do  
it together. My main concern is that I don't disappoint you."  
His chin tucked in sharply as he strove to look into her eyes.  
"That's absurd! I told you before not to talk like thatit'sit's."  
"OK, settle down. Granted it's unlikely, but like you said,  
you've waited such a long timeI just want to be worth the  
wait."  
Tugging at her arms, he pulled her up to him and kissed her thoroughly.  
"Beverly all you need to know is that I love youunreservedly.  
That will never change."  
She sighed and kissed him moaning when she felt his growing erection.  
"And in the meantime?"  
He grinned boyishly.  
"Did I tell you I have thirty years of fantasies to explore?"  
"Really?"  
"Uh huh."  
"Well you'd better show me."  
He kissed her again and whispered in her ear,  
"Gladly."  



End file.
